confidential accountability, massage addiction - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 12:54 PM Thread Starter
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confidential accountability, massage addiction

First time posting here on this website, have read several of the chat threads, wanted to give it a shot. Without going into a tremendous amount of detail, except to say that I am a male, and have battled for years with what began as pornography addiction, then progressed to online chatting, emailing, and now has managed, over the past year, to include sensual massage addiction. I have been on the roller coaster of recovery from sexual addiction for a few years now, and have found it difficult to escape from the power of what is contained in the sensual massage. It is not unlike a drug addiction, complete with withdrawal effects, etc. I honestly do not struggle with pornography or chatting anymore, but I do struggle with the touch associated with the massage. Maritally, I am married, and my wife knows my struggle, as we have been separated for the majority of the past few years due to the consequences of my own choices(bringing my former porn addiction into the marriage, and the subsequent chatting). She has had her own issues as well, as we have had a completely dysfunctional marriage to this point. We both sincerely want to get healthy and someday have a healthy, functional, honest relationship in which we can enjoy real intimacy. This struggle this year with massage had at it's roots our separation and my loneliness, and lack of physical touch. It has been overwhelming at times. The very receipt of touch, although it feels wonderful at the time, threatens to prevent me from ever enjoying health and the kind of real touch and intimacy that I should only receive from my wife.

**So, I am really interested in anyone who would be willing to begin an anonymous GroupMe or individual chat thread in order to keep each other, or just me accountable to overcome this addiction. I need someone that I can email, very regularly, over the next several months, to be honest with, who understands this addiction. I need multiple layers of accountability because I know there will be withdrawal, etc. Is there anyone out there who is willing/understands this struggle? This can become an open topic, but please feel free to message me privately if interested. Thanks for reading.
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 01:46 PM
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Re: confidential accountability, massage addiction

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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 02:18 PM
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confidential accountability, massage addiction

Of course you are limiting your choice of accountability partners to men only, right?
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 04:08 PM
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Re: confidential accountability, massage addiction

Eva star I understand your pain as I have been there as well addicted to this type of messaging sensual, sexual sexting and other types of pornographic content. My wife also knows my struggle and every day I try to do better and repair what is broken, but eventually fixable.

Have you tried finding spiritual and sexual addiction support? I have and it has come as a blessing for all things in a group where you can relate to theta with the same type of addiction without having to worry about been judged or misunderstood as sick or dysfunctional.

Feel free to PM me and your struggle is everyone else when working in support groups.


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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 04:35 PM
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Re: confidential accountability, massage addiction

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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 07:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: confidential accountability, massage addiction

Um, yes, men only....and hey, "browser", do you not think this is a serious thread?
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 08:44 PM
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Re: confidential accountability, massage addiction

May I ask if you are religious at all?

Ciao,

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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-01-2017, 09:34 AM
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Re: confidential accountability, massage addiction

I thought there were 'sex and porn addiction' groups and even 'love addict' groups all over the place now, since men have been using this excuse whenever they get caught cheating? They're kind of like AA meetings - you can find them anywhere.

Why not join a group of like-minded people you can have as accountability partners? Are you self diagnosed or did a qualified medical professional diagnose you as a sex addict? I thought CSATs had all kinds of recovery group options for addicts, why don't you ask your medical professional for a reliable source?
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-01-2017, 09:52 AM
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Re: confidential accountability, massage addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by evanstar View Post
Um, yes, men only....and hey, "browser", do you not think this is a serious thread?
The jury's still out.
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-01-2017, 10:00 AM
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Re: confidential accountability, massage addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by She'sStillGotIt View Post
I thought there were 'sex and porn addiction' groups and even 'love addict' groups all over the place now, since men have been using this excuse whenever they get caught cheating? They're kind of like AA meetings - you can find them anywhere.

Why not join a group of like-minded people you can have as accountability partners? Are you self diagnosed or did a qualified medical professional diagnose you as a sex addict? I thought CSATs had all kinds of recovery group options for addicts, why don't you ask your medical professional for a reliable source?


It seems to me that more anonymity and secret emailing (via internet chatting) is a slippery slope and only leads to more secrets. Why not join a 12-step program for sex addicts and meet real live people, men going through the same thing you are, and get your accountability that way?

"Love is chemicals masquerading as choices!"
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