Confused and hurt - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 06:31 PM Thread Starter
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Confused and hurt

started seeing g this man who was interested in me, wanted to meet me told his daughter to tell my daughter he wanted and introduce us( both our daughters are cheerleaders for the same school, basketball). So we met and he was all I've been waiting for a bigger guy,he's a police officer,good dad,divorced for 7 years and was looking for love. I thought it was wonderful that he was interested in me. We hung out a few times went to dinner as well and have had sex like 6 times, mine and his house when the kids were at school and on his days off work. Anyways things were going good and then his ex wife found out about me. She came to one of the basketball games and sat on a bleacher. I've never seen his ex wife before in person just on Facebook and every time I would look over she would be sitting there staring at me and giving me dirty looks. I called ( let's say his name is Todd) and told him that I think I seen his ex wife at the game. So we talked a little bit. Then after about 2 weeks I get the cold shoulder from him and I didn't know why he was doing this, he wouldn't answer any of my texts and went to one of the games and he sat by his girls he has 3 and one of them the cheerleader. Then his ex wife came and sat right down in front of him by o e of his daughters. Avoided me the whole game then left w/ out saying good bye or nothing. Then he text me good night that night, im like are you and your wife back together? He said no she's not my wife and we're not back together and nor do I want her. I was starting get confused and wonder why he was ghosting me. Few days went by a text here and there but nothing like it was when we met, I finally called him and said OK what's going on. He said his ex wife says that I am trouble and she will keep his youngest daughter away from him if he dates me. They have been divorced 7 years and she then that wanted it but then gets to control his happiness. Yes I have a record but not one of them is for a DUI or any drug offensives. I don't do drugs and rarely drink. So in like OK what should we do now, he said we can still be friends and do things together as friends and see where that goes maybe deeper or not. So mind you his ex wife is very ill. She has stage 4 breast and bone cancer and I've talked to my mother about this and she said that a one point he loved her, idk how long that were married but have 3 daughters too. My mom said that maybe sense she's in the stage 4 of the cancer that she might want the ones that she loves and the ones that loved her close bye sense it's serious. So then im put on hold I should say. Im going to stay away because in going g let him figure out what he wants. Im not going to be mean to anybody and I'll respect the ex wife on what she wants. Idk what her docs said I really know nothing. But this is the reason why the cold shoulder issue. Should I wait for him to figure out what he wants to do? Should I move on? My feelings are hurt and still very strong for him. I want to be w/ him so bad and he was the one who started this. He wanted to meet me and then we did then now he's ghosting me. Srry this I so long and no paragraphs spacing im on my phone and it's hard. Plz tell me what I should or should not do. I have know one to really talk to about this and been holding it in. Thanks you.

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 07:49 PM
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Re: Confused and hurt

Move on. First of all his ex wife should have no knowledge of your previous dui. It is not her business at all. Second it is noy worth chasing a guy who will ignore you. Take time and meet someone who will respect you no matter who is around at the time.

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 07:52 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Confused and hurt

No no I dont have any DUIs or a drug record so idk where she got that I was trouble. All my public info was for like 15 years ago.

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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 08:25 PM
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What type of record do you have? That may weigh into her concerns. She doesn't know you and that's really all she has to go on. Were you upfront and honest aboit your past with him or did he find out through the ex?

I'll be honest...depending on the offense I can't say I'd be thrilled my daughters were around someone who had a criminal past. Not to say you are a bad person bc I believe in second chances. Its just not a gamble many will take with their children.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 09:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Confused and hurt

What I believe his ex wife did was look up my history my public records, anyone can do that cause it's public. Im not a felon I've had few but most was just for red lights or not completely stopping at stop sign. I have 2 teenagers of my own 17 and 15 and I have raised them on my own. I don't do drugs I don't drink and most those records were like I said 15 years ago. He had enough time to look me up to he's a police officer and his ex wife is emotionally controlling him. More or less, she didn't want to stay married to him but can control who he can be w/ or not. He said everything will eventually blow over w/ her and it will be fine idk. I still have these strong feelings for him and he knows this. I've had no contact w/ him sense Saturday and we really didn't even talk much just a text here and there. I feel like there has to be something that's my fault but I know nothing. He's ghosting me and but then he was the one who wanted to meet me???? Idk

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