Addicted husband - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 03:11 PM Thread Starter
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Addicted husband

My husband is an addict pretty much to everything except me and our kids. He had problems with drugs and drinking now he dips. I need some input from other men who are fighting dipping. He is now on Wellbutrin to tackle this addiction. After the first week he was so nice and loving I was able to see what made him mad or happy he wasnt sarcastic to me or our kids and he made great choices. Until he started cutting back then everything turned into my fault and he turned into just a general jerk like he has been the entire time I've known him. He says it's due to his dipping but I don't believe that I think he uses that as an excuse to be a jerk to me. When I've had enough of his neglect and silent treatment I start leaving then his attitude changes almost instantly and he's the sweetest nicest guy you've ever seen. I've had enough of this roller coaster I worked very hard for years to make him happy with very little in return. I work out on a regular bases I'm thin I'm a great cook I do most if not all the housework and I take care of our two kids and all of there extracurricular activities. If he does one good thing every so often he expects to be rewarded which I put up with that for a long time. When I did notice the few things he did he never I mean never said anything about me and would bad mouth me at work if things weren't going his way at home which he never let me know about because he didn't talk to me about anything. I did everything he wanted in bed with very little in return he thought that his great achievement was making me organism every time. Which by the way I had to shift him around and change positions so I could so I was working all the time and still do. He never tries to turn me on just grabs me and goes for it WTH!? Once he has had me once or twice in a few days he good for the month.....well I'm not I'm good for a few days tops. Oh and he's about 50lbs overweight so I have to be on top now because it tires him out too much to be on top. He goes through ups and downs and blames me for it even when I am nice and ask him is something wrong he stares at me and eventually says no it's like he on something. He is never consistent ever the only thing he is constant with are his games and work and he only works 40 hours a week at a real relaxed job that pays pretty good. Oh and I handle all of the bills and planing for everything I had to pick his first car and factor it into the budget. I'm tired of feeling like I'm his mother I don't see myself like that and it has made me very angry it took me years to get this way because I fought it. I want to be sexy and fun loving but it's hard when the only person you see everyday doesn't seem to give a damn about you. It seems as if all his needs aren't getting met then he won't think about mine so that leaves little time for me. I used to spend so much time making sure his needs where completely met so I could get some time but it left me feeling empty. Every time I think about doing something for him and do it it goes straight to his head and forgets about me altogether. The second he gets something extra on his plate other than work then I'm the ungrateful one. He is going back to school now he's a high school dropout so he never took school seriously. I have been encouraging him to go back to school ever sense our son was born which was eleven years ago. He will go then drop out then he got on drugs then he got off of drugs then he went back to school then stoped then started again. So if he spends a day on homework on the weekend he thinks he has done so much and I would be so greatfull. Now I'm not an ungreatful person but after eleven years of school and he's just now in college algebra I'm getting a little ticked. I give him quite and keep the house clean and food in his stomach and do all the kids stuff which if I was going back to school I wouldn't get that luxury. Which I did go back one semester and our kids got neglected because he wouldn't help so I had to stop. So I'm kind of stuck. Oh and he has perposed to me three times let me tell you how the first one went. He took me out to eat but I could tell something was wrong because he was so unorganized at setting up a babysitter which is his mother so it's not that hard. We got to the restaurant and he mad a huge deal with isn't like him he is normal a pretty quite person unless he is high....bingo! Yes he was on bath salts and the ring was on loan from the jewelry store with a cz diamond in the middle. Now we had money and he only buys the best for himself but this is what I got and I thought after being together for 5 years I would get something better than that. Then he tried again not too long after he got off the drugs so I couldn't tell wether or not he was like that. He did do better with the ring this time at least it wasn't fake but it was a promise ring you know the $100 ones. He can spend $400 on an Xbox but $100 in an ingagment ring. He spent most of the time talking to the waitress which by the way was nothing to look at he just likes getting attention. Now he finally grew up and bought me a real engagement ring we where making payments on it for the last three years and that ******* hasn't ever given it to me. Now we have been together for 12 years now and still no wedding or ring or perposal. I don't know why he's putting it off.
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 04:02 PM
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Re: Addicted husband

Is he your husband or your boyfriend?
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 04:22 PM
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Re: Addicted husband

What the hell is DIPPING?!??

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.


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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 04:23 PM
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Re: Addicted husband

Chewing tobacco.

Copenhagen, Skoal, etc.

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 04:33 PM
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Re: Addicted husband

Oh. Thanks.

noloverelation, care to explain why you are even with this guy?? He sounds like a total jerk loser a$$hole.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.


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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 05:42 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Addicted husband

For one I've been with him for 12 years and we have a house and two children it's not that easy to leave. I've tried to go back to school but he makes it very hard on me to do that. We are common law we started filing our taxes together as married 10 years ago and that made us legally married. The laws have changed sense then. I have a neighbor that cheated on her husband 3 times and he has taken her back every time and he treats her better than my husband does. Sense we don't have a marriage license I can't get my name changed unless I get him to sign some paperwork and I don't want to lower myself to that. It's embarrassing that my kids have a different last name than I do. Oh and I used to give him bjs all the time then he started watching porn guess what I stoped. I said really I look that bad he said I didn't do it in the mornings and that's when he wanted it. Ok fine I won't do it anymore. Anyways I was doing it for him not for me. Sorry if I didn't want to do that in the morning he sweats like a pig at night. Honestly if he would have gotten up and gotten a shower I would have done it but I guess he was too lazy. He was very vein when I met him he worked out I liked that but he still had a gut and it's only gotten worse. I like to run he will go and "walk" with me every so often.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 05:49 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Addicted husband

I'm also a gamer I play call of duty a lot I also like the mario games I'm a Star Wars junky and I like Harry Potter. I'm letting my son watch the Harry Potter movies now my daughter is still to young. I had ask him to take an auto body class with me so we can learn to work on cars but he doesn't want to. I don't know he maybe bipolar his mother said he's had problems sense he was 12.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 05:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Addicted husband

He was my second boyfriend so I didn't date around I guess my question is is this normal for a guy to be like this. Sense I've been with him I've met quite a few jerks that wanted to sleep with me but that's not what i want. Also who in the hell would want to be with a single mother of two? He told me if I ever left him the only man I could find would be one that is living with his mother that would use me for my money if I was ever capable of getting a job. A few days after he says things like that he will say sorry I didn't stay up on my dipping.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 11:52 PM
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Re: Addicted husband

Want to be sexy and fun loving but it's hard when the only person you see everyday doesn't seem to give a damn about you.

I know exactly how you feel so sad .. I'm sorry but it sounds like drugs not dipping...


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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 11:52 PM
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Re: Addicted husband

Or wait am I missing what dipping is??


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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 03:04 PM
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Re: Addicted husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by noloverelation View Post
He was my second boyfriend so I didn't date around I guess my question is is this normal for a guy to be like this. Sense I've been with him I've met quite a few jerks that wanted to sleep with me but that's not what i want. Also who in the hell would want to be with a single mother of two? He told me if I ever left him the only man I could find would be one that is living with his mother that would use me for my money if I was ever capable of getting a job. A few days after he says things like that he will say sorry I didn't stay up on my dipping.
Sooooo.....chewing tobacco or NOT chewing tobacco makes one be an a$$hole??

You need to lose this guy....and fast! Prove him wrong!
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 03:13 PM
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Re: Addicted husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by noloverelation View Post
For one I've been with him for 12 years and we have a house and two children it's not that easy to leave. I've tried to go back to school but he makes it very hard on me to do that. We are common law we started filing our taxes together as married 10 years ago and that made us legally married. The laws have changed sense then. I have a neighbor that cheated on her husband 3 times and he has taken her back every time and he treats her better than my husband does. Sense we don't have a marriage license I can't get my name changed unless I get him to sign some paperwork and I don't want to lower myself to that. It's embarrassing that my kids have a different last name than I do. Oh and I used to give him bjs all the time then he started watching porn guess what I stoped. I said really I look that bad he said I didn't do it in the mornings and that's when he wanted it. Ok fine I won't do it anymore. Anyways I was doing it for him not for me. Sorry if I didn't want to do that in the morning he sweats like a pig at night. Honestly if he would have gotten up and gotten a shower I would have done it but I guess he was too lazy. He was very vein when I met him he worked out I liked that but he still had a gut and it's only gotten worse. I like to run he will go and "walk" with me every so often.
So...................it would be hard to leave. So what?

If you really want to keep finding excuses to stay, go ahead. You asked if this is normal? HELL no. Not by ANY stretch. It's borderline abuse.

You are teaching your kids that this IS normal though. Don't you want better for them?

Oh, and get your head out of the games. You're a wife and mother. Not a teenager with no job. Maybe if you can start living in the real world for a bit you'll wake up to how screwed up your situation is.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.


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