I've been married for over 27 years to my husband. He's always been somewhat controlling, and impatient with me. We have 1 grown daughter. A couple of years ago he developed a close friendship with a single mother. He approached me with the idea of helping this woman emotionally and financially. I agreed to help, since she needed to see a doctor, and she didn't have any insurance. By the way, we are not wealthy, but financially stable. I thought I would be included in this relationship, but I wasn't. I was asked to watch her daughter a couple of times, but that was about it. She emailed, phoned and texted my husband every day. He would visit her after work, but always insisted that she was just a friend. A few months after he started spending time with her, he also visited a strip club in town. He used his debit card, so I discovered it. Since that time he now takes out cash, last year was over $6,000.00. He disappears for a couple of hours at a time, and goes through about $200.00 every couple of weeks. I've been in denial, with the wish he would stop. This past Monday was the final straw. He couldn't remember his pin and asked me to pick up cash. I did and he used it on Monday morning for lap dances. These clubs have totally nude women. He doesn't see the big deal. I doubt he realizes how much money he is going through. I think he has a sex addiction. The single mother has moved away, but we still pay for her cell phone, and he drove to visit her this past spring. He actually had taken our daughter on a trip, and left her for 2 days so he could see this woman. I'm numb and don't really know what to do.
Sorry, I didn't make that connection very clear. There's actually no connection to the 2 events. He has also tried his hand in posting on Craigs List. He claimed he did it as a joke. It wasn't funny to me! I understand that men are visual creatures, so it didn't surprise me when he got a thrill out of this single mom's attention. She was his gym trainer. Actually, she was mine first! At the time he was spending so much time with her, she was very tall, very slim, and very busty. I don't know what she looks like now. I think she turned him on so much, he wanted to see how much more was out there. I also think when he made his first trip to the strip club, it was kind of a lark. He enjoyed the attention from these young women...even though he had to pay for it. He claims that they were just lap dances. I know from talking to the sheriff's office, that the women in this club are all prostitutes. They've raided the club within the last 12 months, and will probably do so again. I give my husband a lot of attention, because I love him, but I no longer trust him. He doesn't think he has a problem. I pray that he seeks help, but even if he doesn't, I am. Our daughter is disgusted and will not speak to him.
If you are honest that you are giving him plenty of attention and affection, and that your sex life was good... then it's ultimatum time at the least, if not just cut and run time. Stop it or your gone. Simple as that. You will know his feelings soon enough.
Wow, he has been cheating, regardless of whether he had sex with this single mom. To make matters worse, he has the nerve to waste your family's money on strippers? You know about this, and can't stop him? Blaming it on a sex addiction is a lame excuse. He needs serious therapy or rehab or something. You deserve a lot better.