Wish I had some progress to report but nothing has changed. Iíve been mistaken every time I think things are moving forward in our marriage. She still insists she is interested in me but her actions indicate otherwise, a killer on my self-esteem. Even after that last conversation that included talking about divorce as an option, which she protested against she is still turning to her porn on a daily bases.
I believe Iíve given up, not sure all this is worth it. At the point now where Iím not interested in sex with her anymore. Unlike many male posters on here Iím not interested in sex with the wife if she gets her appetite elsewhere; not just looking for release, I need to feel wanted.
It sounds like she loves you, but not IN love with you. For some women that makes a huge difference in how they feel sexually towards their spouse. I also think its possible she feels some guilt or shame even, because I think she knows how she feels, but she keeps telling herself maybe, if she convinces herself she wants to be with you, it will magically happen for her. Her feelings will just reappear. I doubt it happens like that.
I agree, itís got to be hard to admit to yourself that the person you love and have a loving and stable family with is just not who you want. Honestly, it would be a simpler problem to deal with if she had an affair. With an affair I could be angry at her, she would see that Iím not the one for her and we could move on with our lives.
TAM has been an addiction on mine, one of the reasons I donít post often is that I spend too much time reading other posts! With all this reading I know this canít continue for long without it ending badly, but itís so comfortable.
For me being with my kids is VERY important, every second weekend and one night a week is just not good enough for me. Iím a good Ďbetaí husband and provide leadership to the family (my only alpha quality) I know I provide comfort to my wife and kids. So against all the great advice I get here on TAM Iím going to stick to the status quo and see how long this can last, at least till the kids are older. I donít think Iím taking advantage of my wife, Iíve explained how I feel to her and if she decides to pull the plug then so be it, she deserves to be with someone she wants to be with. Divorce will happen in the future but I can try and work on myself in the meantime while keeping the access to my kids that I require.