Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
Re: Husband drink while watching kids
Your children's lives are at risk, and he's proven it by insisting on driving while drunk, even though you outsmarted him this time.
Do you really want a "next time?"
I honestly think that you need to separate and give him time to clean up his act--a year of complete sobriety, at the minimum. I personally would not trust my kids with a recovering alcoholic until the kids were old enough to refuse to get in a car with him if they suspected he'd been drinking. Which means, I'd probably just get a divorce and say "We can try again if you are sober for the next 12 years." Or just get the divorce.
You have to put your kids first, and someone who binge drinks and hides alcohol use is clearly an alcoholic. Alcoholics don't have to get drunk every day--they are people who will not stop once started, and so every time they drink, they drink to excess--as in, more than what is defined as "moderate" drinking (1-2 drinks for most average size men, per day). This is only one step away from heavy drinking, mind you (look up "moderate use of alcohol). It has its own health risks.
I think you are right not to trust him; he is not trustworthy. Please, for your kids' sakes, don't give him another chance--there is too much at stake. It will probably be awful and hurt like hell to leave, but the cost of being wrong in trusting him one more time is just too high. I feel for all of you--him too; it's a terrible disease--but the safety of your kids must be your only concern right now. You are the only one who can protect them.