03-03-2012, 01:26 AM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
| | Re: Does alcohl r drugs cause permanent damage?
Yes alcohol and drugs and cause permanent damage to the brain of the drug/alcohol abuser. Some of it is not referable.
Another issue is that your husband might have some form of mental illness, like bi-polar, and used the drugs/alcohol to self-medicate this is very common. From what you say now that he has been clean for a while he does sound like he has issues.
I have a similar issue. My husband does not use drugs or alcohol. We married in 2000. When we married his 2 children were 10 & 12 and my son was 10. The children are now 22, 23, and 25.
Since he lost his job in 2002 due to layoff at the company he worked for he has basically not work all this time. Over time he has come to spend almost every waking hour on his computer playing games. When I’m not at home he goes to sex sites to view porn and to engage in ‘virtual’ sex with people on those sites. He has an entire group of friends that he has apparently been doing this with for years. He has done nothing over the years to really help support the family or raise the children.
All 3 children, his and my son are furious at him. My son is upset that I have let him stay. But I felt that I could not kick him out because his children would probably have to go as well. And it would not be fair to have them lose the only home they had known for so long. Their mother had abandoned them when they were young. I am the only mother they have had through most of their live. They did not deserve to be kicked out of their home and lose the only stability they knew.
So now I have 3 children who are very angry at him. They are upset that I have not told him to leave. My son is the only one living at home now. He, like your daughter lives at home while in college. I am concerned about the level of anger between the two of them. My son wants to stomp my husband for good reason. He is angry at the way my husband has treated me, his own children and my son.
I realize that my husband has to go. My son has done nothing wrong. My husband has done a lot wrong. My son is right to be upset about the way my husband behaves.
In this matter you are in the same place I am in.
My 2 cents is that you need to let your husband go. Your children are right. You will do better on your own. If you go to counseling and figure out your own issues, fix them you might find a better relationship. If you don’t being alone is better and healthier than being in a abusive relationship.