Relationships and AddictionWhether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.
Does he know he's an ex to be? I'm just curious why he's interested in intimacy from you now.
Probably because he either knows or feels that he is about to loose her....... and IMO a lot of men tend to change once they have lost and it is over - Go Figure.
I've been reading this thread for a little while and I realize I've never looked into his eyes. I typically avoid them.
Hmmn. I wonder what problems this creates.
Lost opportunities for emotional bonding with the man you love....... YOU can render this by starting the lights on eyes open at all times - from this moment forward.
Lost opportunities for emotional bonding with the man you love....... YOU can render this by starting the lights on eyes open at all times - from this moment forward.
Good Luck....
Actually, that is a problem. What if I don't enjoy looking into his eyes at that particular moment, or if doing so is an impossibility?
Okay the chemicals released during orgasm makes a mental picture used in bonding. What if she closes her eyes does she then get turned on in the dark? SOrry pillow talk from the wife and I.
Okay the chemicals released during orgasm makes a mental picture used in bonding. What if she closes her eyes does she then get turned on in the dark? Sorry pillow talk from the wife and I.
YES....................... believe it or not - the answer is YES.
Remember I stated this back a few post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doubt&Wonder
I heard about a man that always looked at his boots during sex and over time he could not have sex with out wearing his boots - no boots no orgasm.
I personally use to look at a certain spot on the ceiling and I found that my orgasm was much stronger when I had my eyes open and looking up......
Actually, that is a problem. What if I don't enjoy looking into his eyes at that particular moment, or if doing so is an impossibility?
Impossible due to what? - - - Fear of What...True Intimacy maybe?
And please keep in mind that this new bonding experience will be uncomfortable for some when they first start it, but give it a try and in time you will find it desirable........ besides: Practice makes Perfect.
True Intimacy ~ I don't think everyone can or wants to train themselves because this is the newest greatest thing. My wife likes to close her eyes. Hey it works for her and when it is over she is right back to looking into my eyes.
To answer the question, my ex2be does not know.......I keep telling him I do not know if I can work it out or not....bad on my part....sometimes I think I can and other times I just can't.........and this morning he was crying..........
True Intimacy ~ I don't think everyone can or wants to train themselves because this is the newest greatest thing. My wife likes to close her eyes. Hey it works for her and when it is over she is right back to looking into my eyes.
draconis
sorry my post was about looking into the other persons eyes during orgasm. sorry to confuse.
Impossible due to what? - - - Fear of What...True Intimacy maybe?
And please keep in mind that this new bonding experience will be uncomfortable for some when they first start it, but give it a try and in time you will find it desirable........ besides: Practice makes Perfect.
Well I guess I'll just come out and say it. If this is inappropriate, let me know and I'll edit it. What if you can't look into their eyes because of the particular positions you like?
Perhaps you are right about a fear of true intimacy. I'm not sure quite what that means. But certain positions (many of the ones that face the spouse) are kinda boring for me. When I'm not looking at him I don't focus on his face, and I can focus on other things: my needs, his response, the feeling...etc.
It's kinda like when you smell a smell or listen to a sound and close your eyes to take it all in.
Well I guess I'll just come out and say it. If this is inappropriate, let me know and I'll edit it. What if you can't look into their eyes because of the particular positions you like?
It's kinda like when you smell a smell or listen to a sound and close your eyes to take it all in.
Then I would say go for IT at the moment (and) try other times during the week to look into his eyes........
for SEX is like a T-shirt - One size does not fit all.
Heck what ever works for you. I have know people to say up and down this tech works or you need that. Everyone is different in what they will do, what they like, what they want, how they veiw it. Hey spice is nice. Keep it fresh, exciting maybe try something new to see if you like it.
Reading this thread, it make sense to me now why my husband is not happy just to make love to me. I have to pretend to be someone else in order for him to get excited. I guess that I have to pretend to be the women in all the porn that he looks at all the time.
I truly believe my husband is addicted to porn. He has spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on it. It's been going on for about 1 year and half now. I don't know what to do about it anymore. It's ruining us financially, and seriously hurting how I feel about him. I feel like he's very selfish and he doesn't care what the porn does to our life at all. I don't have a problem with him looking at it as much as I have an issue with the amount of money he spends on it. Over $800.00 in one month.
The big thing is with his lack of caring about our life, it's hurting how I feel about him....and it's also hurting my sex drive. I don't want to make love to him because I feel like it's not me he's making love to anymore. Is that crazy??
Nope. It's not crazy. When porn gets in between two people it really screws up the entire relationship, especially the sexual aspect. I no longer look my husband in the eyes nor do we kiss during sex. We used to have the most amazing passionate sex life, but because of his porn addiction it is no longer what it used to be. I can not be truly intimate with someone that has disrespected me on so many levels. I'm to the point where I don't care what he's thinking about while we have sex because it is just to get the job done now. It is just a necessity. It is no longer a bonding experience like it once was. That beautiful aspect of it is over for us now.
It sucks, but I'm getting used to things being like this and actually finding happiness in my life again. For months, I had been really depressed and not interested in sex at all because of the porn issue. I had to fake it for a while. At least, I'm finally getting some pleasure out of it again.
~sigh~
It is a long hard road for those of us who have porn addicted spouses. I hope that some males(or females) that read these posts will see themselves and stop this from happening to their relationship.
Re: Why Sex / Porn is Addictive
Re: Why Sex / Porn is Addictive
Re: Why Sex / Porn is Addictive
Re: Why Sex / Porn is Addictive
