Relationships and AddictionWhether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.
I am new here, and looked, but could not find, stories like mine --- stories in which the WIFE is the alcoholic in recovery, going through separation initiated by the husband. My husband moved out on Sunday to "take some space" and I am devastated and struggling!!!!!!!
I had 14 years of recovery in AA, and was sober when I met my husband 7 years ago and married him 5 years ago. But I was so happy and content being with him that I made the mistake of neglecting my recovery -- stopped going to meetings and had a horrible relapse which to my great regret lasted for the past 2 years. He did confront me about my drinking, but because he does not understand the disease of alcoholism, he kept thinking I would be able to stop on my own -- it was not until he finally gave me an ultimatum (your drinking or our marriage) that I went to a rehab for 5 weeks, and I now have three months clean and sober. But when I got back from the rehab, my husband informed me that he is so full or pent up resentment about the past 2 years of our marriage and so fearful that I will relapse again, that he is moving out -- he went through with it this past Sunday, and has signed a 6 month lease on an apartment not far away. For the 5 years prior to my relapse, we were so in love and happy together and had the most amazing connection! I have told him many times how profundly remorseful and sorry I am for "checking out" of the marriage those 2 years, and tried to reassure him that I will never stop going to any lengths to make sure such a horrendous thing ever happens again. I realize that it was hard on him, once the nightly drinking began, but even during the 2-year relapse, I was never an **shole to him -- I was still a good wife to him in most other respects, did lots of nice things for him, had fun outings together, was appreciateive and respectful, was never mean or nasty, managed to hold down my well-paying job, and kept myself physically fit. But alcohol is a destroyer of intimacy, and of trust...so I can understand he needs time to come to terms with his anger and fear.
However, he refuses to go to even one or two couples counselling sessions, which really seems to indicate he has stopped caring completely and has no intention of working on our marriage to see if we can process what happened and rebuild and renew it :-( I am so hurt and scared that he is not coming back, and this is just his way of easing out the door to divorce. I think he is only seeing the negatives of the past 2 years, and completley forgetting everything GREAT we had going for us, and the possibility that we could be happy again now that I am addressing my problem.
Besides working hard on my recovery (attending meetings, and utlizing my sponsor and network), I am seeing a couples therapist by myslef, who advises basically the same approach as the 180. Even though I thought we agreed to "keep the lines of communication open," he called me Sunday night, but has not called since then. I never imagined the man that I married could be so cruel and cold hearted!!!!
There is so much ignorance about alcoholism and addiction, and I think he truly DOES NOT GET that it is a disease, and was never my intent for it to resurface and hurt him and our marriage. I love him with all my heart and am grateful he stood by me in my active illness. But am angry he wants to give up on me and our marriage now that I am getting better. Would he be reacting the same way if I had breast cancer or diabetes? Or the tables were turned, would he not want me to stand by him? I am hurt and angry that he will not even give counselling a try -- do our marriage vows mean nothing? How could he be so callous and disloyal?!
I am going about my life and trying to make the best of things, and just be patient and see where this goes...but would appreciate any insights or words of advice on my situation and how I can maximize the chances of saving the marriage. Sorry for such a long initial post, and thanks in advance for any feedback.
I am new here, and looked, but could not find, stories like mine --- stories in which the WIFE is the alcoholic in recovery, going through separation initiated by the husband. My husband moved out on Sunday to "take some space" and I am devastated and struggling!!!!!!!
I had 14 years of recovery in AA, and was sober when I met my husband 7 years ago and married him 5 years ago. But I was so happy and content being with him that I made the mistake of neglecting my recovery -- stopped going to meetings and had a horrible relapse which to my great regret lasted for the past 2 years. He did confront me about my drinking, but because he does not understand the disease of alcoholism, he kept thinking I would be able to stop on my own -- it was not until he finally gave me an ultimatum (your drinking or our marriage) that I went to a rehab for 5 weeks, and I now have three months clean and sober. But when I got back from the rehab, my husband informed me that he is so full or pent up resentment about the past 2 years of our marriage and so fearful that I will relapse again, that he is moving out -- he went through with it this past Sunday, and has signed a 6 month lease on an apartment not far away. For the 5 years prior to my relapse, we were so in love and happy together and had the most amazing connection! I have told him many times how profundly remorseful and sorry I am for "checking out" of the marriage those 2 years, and tried to reassure him that I will never stop going to any lengths to make sure such a horrendous thing ever happens again. I realize that it was hard on him, once the nightly drinking began, but even during the 2-year relapse, I was never an **shole to him -- I was still a good wife to him in most other respects, did lots of nice things for him, had fun outings together, was appreciateive and respectful, was never mean or nasty, managed to hold down my well-paying job, and kept myself physically fit. But alcohol is a destroyer of intimacy, and of trust...so I can understand he needs time to come to terms with his anger and fear.
However, he refuses to go to even one or two couples counselling sessions, which really seems to indicate he has stopped caring completely and has no intention of working on our marriage to see if we can process what happened and rebuild and renew it :-( I am so hurt and scared that he is not coming back, and this is just his way of easing out the door to divorce. I think he is only seeing the negatives of the past 2 years, and completley forgetting everything GREAT we had going for us, and the possibility that we could be happy again now that I am addressing my problem.
Besides working hard on my recovery (attending meetings, and utlizing my sponsor and network), I am seeing a couples therapist by myslef, who advises basically the same approach as the 180. Even though I thought we agreed to "keep the lines of communication open," he called me Sunday night, but has not called since then. I never imagined the man that I married could be so cruel and cold hearted!!!!
There is so much ignorance about alcoholism and addiction, and I think he truly DOES NOT GET that it is a disease, and was never my intent for it to resurface and hurt him and our marriage. I love him with all my heart and am grateful he stood by me in my active illness. But am angry he wants to give up on me and our marriage now that I am getting better. Would he be reacting the same way if I had breast cancer or diabetes? Or the tables were turned, would he not want me to stand by him? I am hurt and angry that he will not even give counselling a try -- do our marriage vows mean nothing? How could he be so callous and disloyal?!
I am going about my life and trying to make the best of things, and just be patient and see where this goes...but would appreciate any insights or words of advice on my situation and how I can maximize the chances of saving the marriage. Sorry for such a long initial post, and thanks in advance for any feedback.
Kind Regards, - Awakening2012
AWAKENINGS - I understand your frustration.... I will only say to you what I would say to any one of my sponsees about this...
1) You said it yourself - Alcoholism is a destroyer of intimacy and trust.
2) MY experience is that when I relapsed, I was drunk for 4 years. Therefore I could expect those who no longer trust me to keep distrusting me through 4 years of sobriety. 4 years of broken promises is equal to 4 years of EARNING trust without promises made... Just doing the work and CHANGING. DID IT TAKE 4 YEARS TO EARN IT BACK? NO, NO, NO!! But I was prepared for it.
3) You were drunk for 2 years (but treating him well)... You are sober 3 months. You expect an awful lot out of him to just take your word and have faith in you that you will stay sober. And if you had 14 years WORKING STEPS, LIVING THE SOLUTION then you know very well that your very good treatment may have been your own manipulative tactics to get him to overlook your drinking. You have got to give him all the time and space in the world. And you are blessed that he stayed during your drunk years to care for you, and I suspect that is why he stayed.
4) You have to take care of YOURSELF today and stop worrying ahead to tomorrow. Yes, you may get divorced. Maybe you won't. But if you do what is suggested (hopefully by a Big Book Sponsor) and you get through your steps and start living it again, you know that God will take care of this - HIS way.
5) Finally, pray each day that God look after your husband and help to heal his heart and ease his fears. Tell God you trust Him in His infinite wisdom. And then, if you really really trust Him, do the work that brings you into a deep connection with Him and you will indeed stop living in fear!
Hi Laureen - Many thanks for your kind and wise reply. I know you are right, I have to stop regretting the past and worrying about the future. I will surely be working my program and praying for my husband to find healing and for God's will to be done. You are correct that he probably stayed during my relapse to care for me, for which I am very grateful, but now that I am "stable" he is out the door. Still, it seems cruel to me that he is not willing to go to even one or two couples counselling sessions -- my sponsor and therapist told me not to push him in any way, nor decide in advance that it is hopeless. But I miss him, and it HURTS so much going home to the empty apartment with the wedding pictures on the walls :-( I guess I am getting a dose of how he must have felt when the body-snatchers took his wife away for 2 years. I am not blaming him in any way, but I think if he understood how serious it was when I relapsed, he might have given the ultimatum sooner, causing less damage to the marriage. I try to keep myself busy and not be home alone much, especially in the evenings. Thanks again for your kind reply. Best, A12
Laureen, I have one further question. Why is alcoholism treated so different from any other disease or struggle that I or he for that matter) could have faced in our marriage when we took vows of "in sickness and in health"? I know it was hard on him, and take responsibility for my side of the street, but he is not Mr. Perfect either (suffers from derpession) and I still possess all the good qualities that he fell in love with I the first place. Why the stigma placed on alcoholics that we are some kind of forever-doomed irredeemable pariahs, even when recommitted to and working hard on our recovery? He knew that I was in AA when we courted and got married, that AA kept me sober for 14 years and that THE ONLY REASON I RELAPSED is because I made the human mistake of neglecting my recovery. None of us are perfect, and I regret so deeply the damage my relapse did to our marriage. How is he even going to see that I am staying sober and SHOW him that I have changed, if we never have contact -- so far, at least, despite him saying we would keep the communication open. How will I get his trust back if I can't show him, unless and until he initiates contact, if ever. This is the guy who once loved me so muc he would have gone to the ends of the earth for me. And now suddenly I am a piece of sh*t with no redeemable qualities or reason to even try to save the beautiful connection we once had? It seems so unfair that he is just leaving me hanging with no attempt to even check in with me. Ouch! Best,- A12
Laureen, I have one further question. Why is alcoholism treated so different from any other disease or struggle that I or he for that matter) could have faced in our marriage when we took vows of "in sickness and in health"? I know it was hard on him, and take responsibility for my side of the street, but he is not Mr. Perfect either (suffers from derpession) and I still possess all the good qualities that he fell in love with I the first place. Why the stigma placed on alcoholics that we are some kind of forever-doomed irredeemable pariahs, even when recommitted to and working hard on our recovery? He knew that I was in AA when we courted and got married, that AA kept me sober for 14 years and that THE ONLY REASON I RELAPSED is because I made the human mistake of neglecting my recovery. None of us are perfect, and I regret so deeply the damage my relapse did to our marriage. How is he even going to see that I am staying sober and SHOW him that I have changed, if we never have contact -- so far, at least, despite him saying we would keep the communication open. How will I get his trust back if I can't show him, unless and until he initiates contact, if ever. This is the guy who once loved me so muc he would have gone to the ends of the earth for me. And now suddenly I am a piece of sh*t with no redeemable qualities or reason to even try to save the beautiful connection we once had? It seems so unfair that he is just leaving me hanging with no attempt to even check in with me. Ouch! Best,- A12
The only way I can answer that is simply that your H had believed that if you were sober 14 years, you must be 'cured'!! If he knew and understood alcoholism, he would have been encouraging you to keep going to meetings and not getting away from your people. He did not know, could not know. He may feel very betrayed and frightened as hell!!
Alcoholism for sure IS treated differently than other diseases. Alcoholism destroys families by breaking hearts and forcing others to live in chaos. He got a little taste if it and surely looks ahead to a future filled with relapses and pain. Why would he want to stay? Diabetes and Cancer do not break promises and cause mothers to abuse children and husbands to abuse wives. Diabetes and Cancer are NOT the same in that respect.
You personally made a choice to marry someone with mental illness. He made a choice to marry a sane and sober person. He got to see YOUR mental illness - and in the throws of addiction, yes we are mentally ill as well as spiritually ill and physically ill. But initially, you made poor choices... skipping meetings and getting away from those who understand you like nobody can! Soon, your obsession sets in (mental illness is now being displayed as restless, irritable, discontent) and finally you put it in your mouth, set off the physical craving and NOW you are WITHOUT a choice. You are off to the races. Yes, you initially had a choice BEFORE you put the drink to your lips...
He does not, could not, will not understand alcoholism the way an alcoholic understands it. He could learn about it in alanon.
Your therapists are 100% correct. Don't push him. Leave him alone and give him time and space. He just may go to alanon and learn about alcoholism. He just may seek counseling. Maybe he won't. There is nothing you can do but accept your lumps and treat your INNER wounds that led to your drinking and kept you out there. That is ALL you can do. And if you keep dwelling on this (and I know it hurts) and trying to figure out why (when you already understand but just don't want to accept) then you may end up drunk again and then he will for sure NEVER trust you and NEVER come home. Take care of yourself.
Please utilize your sponsor. Please study your BB and remember this...
SPONSEE: How quickly do I have to do these steps?
SPONSOR: How quickly do you want to be well?
SPONSEE: How do I learn to trust God?
SPONSOR: Well, he got you here, didn't he? He will continue to take care of you IF you ACT as though and soon you WILL have faith.
OK, thanks for your helpful feedback, Laureen. That does not discount my earlier years of recovery, and all that I learned and the growth I received, but you are correct, once I took that first drink, all bets were off, and I was captive again to the powerful disease of alcoholism. Trust me, I have beat myself up about it PLENTY, and still hate so much that this wretched disease caused me to F*** up the best thing in my life. I should just be grateful that I made it back without worse wreckage (not everyone does). I truly appreciate your kind advice, and will do my best to follow it and trust that I WILL GET BETTER and get some lessons out of this that can be to my benefit and help me serve others, no matter how it turns out -- as long as I surrender, stay on the path of recovery and DON'T PICK UP no matter what. I am in a transition -- a foreign land -- for sure, but I know what I have to do....
^^^ I had an incident yesterday, invite to happy hour, I'm new in sobriety... So I appreciate hearing y'alls experiences.
I can tell you a recent story of my own and one I remind myself of often. I was drunk, attacked my H, got arrested.... Was slapped with an order of protection, kicked out of my home and had supervised visits with my kids. It was of a mix of problems with both my H and myself... But because I was drunk, I could not control my reaction to the whole thing.
I can remember sitting in AA and hearing other peoples experiences, thinking I don't drink like that or I haven't hit that low! And you know what? I should've added a big fat YET to everything I was thinking in those meetings.
I hit that low almost two years ago, I don't want to go back there.
Awakening -- I am sorry for what has happened, I can't offer advice other to say "accept the things we cannot change".
Hi Cherry - Thanks for sharing, and carrying the message about the unmanagebaiity we cause ourselves when in active addiction. I did not ask for this disease, but at least it is treateable (unlike some illnesses), and the cure comes with some big side benefits of higher powered better living :-) Keep up the good work and don't pick up no matter what!!!! Hugs,- A12
I made the mistake of neglecting my recovery -- stopped going to meetings and had a horrible relapse which to my great regret lasted for the past 2 years. He did confront me about my drinking, but because he does not understand the disease of alcoholism, he kept thinking I would be able to stop on my own -- it was not until he finally gave me an ultimatum (your drinking or our marriage) that I went to a rehab."
First, we are not talking about one bad night. Apparently there were a serious of things for a period of 2 years. I am not trying to make you feel bad or be mean, but I think the fact that you don't own up to your responsibility for this is frustrating to him.
Saying I screwed up big time, and you have a right to be very mad at me, and I will work hard to make sure this does not happen again, seems is better than you don't understand my disease. Perhaps if you said you will make it up to him, then perhaps he could reconsider. You basically said that he must share responsibility for what happened.
Again, I am not trying to make you feel depressed, and I am sure these are devastating things, and I have a family member who went through AA.
Hi Bobby - Thanks for the feedback, but please know that I have definitely taken responsibility and expressed profound remorse for my transgression and failing as a wife and recovering person -- I have beat myself up plenty about it, and let him know it is my deepest desire to show him through ACTIONS that I am re-committed to my recovery and staying sober -- not laying any blame on him at all. Here is the letter I wrote him if this helps clarify:
Dear (Husband's name)
A we move through a challenging time in our lives and our marriage, I wanted to share some thoughts on paper to let you know how deeply I care about you and our relationship and how profoundly sorry I am for all the pain and suffering that my relapse has caused you and our marriage. This is not an attempt to get you to stay, if taking some space is what you think you need – just a true expression of my most sincere feelings and hopes.
You have to know that it was never my intention to allow the disease that lay dormant within me, as long as it was treated, to re-enter my life in such a damaging and destructive way. I will never forget that beautiful evening we stood on the beach in a glorious Key West sunset and said our wedding vows before our closest family and friends. It was the happiest day of my life, and my heart was bursting with love and joy – and gratitude to God for bringing us together. Being with you, I never felt so loved, cherished and protected. I had found in you the most magnificent man I have ever known: a man with the biggest heart, such integrity, grace, compassion and natural generosity of spirit; a man I could trust, love and respect with all my heart and soul. I was overjoyed to have found someone so easy and fun to be with. I reveled in your crazy sense of humor that could always make me laugh and the way that just looking at you, just a glance or a smile between us, could make my heart race with a fierce passion. I felt so honored to be your wife, and so excited to be building a life together. I could NEVER have imagined doing anything to hurt you or cause you pain, whether intentionally or not.
But in my happiness and contentedness, I made a terrible mistake. I gradually fell victim to the letting my guard down against the illness that had been arrested for more than a decade, as long as I had been taking care of it – as one would like any other disease such as diabetes or high blood pressure. Little did I realize that by neglecting my recovery, I was leaving my disease untreated and making me vulnerable to a relapse and all the destructive consequences that would come with it, like a hurricane ripping through our lives.
I respect that you may need to take time and space to come to terms with your feelings – your anger and your fears. It makes sense that you would have a lot of anger and hurt about all that you and our marriage went through during my painful relapse, and I understand that it damaged your trust in me and may have caused you to look at me and our marriage in a different light. As threatening to me and my health as the relapse was, I can only imagine the terrible toll it took on you. My heart aches to know that my disease was the cause of such suffering, sadness, anxiety, stress, and frustration, as well as a strain on the intimacy and connection that we shared. As kind and tolerant and compassionate as you are, I so deeply regret that my relapse pushed you to the limit of your patience, and hurt you so badly.
But I still hope that you still can have some faith that there remains the spark of love and connection that brought us together in the first place. I thank God that you stood by me during my active illness, and that you saw me through to the other side, despite how painful and stressful it must have been for you. Now that I am getting better, and have recommitted to my recovery, I realize that I cannot expect to regain your trust or receive the gift of forgiveness overnight. I can only pray that healing can come with time – and by my showing you that I am still the same woman you fell in love with, and that I will never stop going to any lengths to make sure that such a horrific thing never happens again.
I hope that as you reflect on our marriage and the years we have spent together, you will focus not only on the hurtful times but also on all of the good times we have had together and the joy we brought each other.
I know that when we took our vows of “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health,” neither of us expected or imagined that our marriage we would indeed be tested by a disease that resurged when I allowed it to go untreated. But I continue to have faith that this marriage has so much good in it that is worth saving and nurturing, and that with some time and patience it can survive and thrive again. I continue to hope that with some mutual compassion, sympathy, understanding and support – we can honor our marriage commitment, make a new beginning, restore the passion we felt for each other and grow through this difficult time to emerge renewed, stronger, happier and closer than ever.
I often said that you are the best thing that ever happened to me, and that is still as true as ever. No matter what, I love you with all my heart and I always will. I am committed to do my part, focus on my recovery and pray for healing. I pray for your healing, too, and for the faith that we can renew and restore the beautiful connection that brought the two of us together and joined our hearts ♥
I hope you'll consider saving this letter as a reflection of my deepest feelings and thoughts about you and our marriage, and re-read it periodically when it feels right to you.
Faithfully and with deepest love and respect, your loving wife,
### So I hope it is clear am not blaming him at all, but just to myself personally regret that had he known more about how the disease works, and that I would need a consequence to stop, he might have lowered the boom of leaving SOONER, and then might not have gone on for 2 years and taken as bad a toll on the marriage. Not his fault -- he did the best he could, and we can't change the past in any case. I only pray that his heart finds healing, and wich him happiness, regardless of the outcome.
Hope this clarifies -- thanks again! Warmly - A12
P.S. He asked me out for a date Sunday night, so I am happy about that, and will lean back and be humble and appreciative -- not bring up the relationship or push him in any way and just try to enjoy some relaxed time spent together :-)
These are tough questions you pose. I am not here to beat you up or to say I know more about alcoholism that you. I certainly respect what you have accomplished, and I can empathize the sadness you feel at serious problems in the marriage you treasure.
All that said, your terminology is troubling, particularly for someone who has had to deal with this. Using your disease analogy, one does not know when a disease can come back. With for example, lung cancer, there is 60% cure ra ate at stage 1 but about 40% regression. One can never say a lung cancer is completely cured and the question is are you saying there is a comparable chance of recurrence.
I think one of the things you still need to do is own up to your responsibility and more importantly make it clear, this will never happen again. In AA, my understanding is that one simply never takes a drink again, eliminating the task of handling alcohol. My family member undertook this task and I never saw him take a drink, even at weddings and other functions. That may be very hard to do but ultimately you have to basically guarantee him that you are done with alcohol.
You have to explain how you have solved this problem. You DO NOT need to talk about he has to understand this "disease" and its causes and the difficulty of addressing it. All you have to convey to maximime your chance of saving the marriage is that this problem is done; disease, condition, addiction, or problem, the point is you have solved it.
You other language about disease etc may be perfectly appropriate in treatment sessions, but is not comforting to a spouse like your husband. Telling him every day is a struggle, many people cannot surmount this addiction, and recurrence is common and beyond the person's control, will not be a sufficient answer for him.
I'm assuming your husband isn't naive about alcoholism and recovery and maybe he needs a little time to find his own footing again.The fact that he stood behind you throughout your relapse and rehab tells me that he still loves you.He just might need to catch his breath in a quiet space.
When you write to your husband,the only thing that I think really matters is that you are completely honest.Isn't that the program we want to work?
Remember,keeping you healthy as a whole person will help keep all your relationships healthy.If you're not then get active in the program.Get to closed meetings and BB studies.Be active in your group.Reach out and get a sponsor.Don't look at everyday as a struggle but as a day of opportunity to change your life around.Wishing you the best in your recovery and in your marriage.
By the way,its nice to hear you have a date.Just take it slow and easy.And as we say "keep coming back"
Hi Bobby anf TBT - Thanks for your kind replies. I do have a wonderful sponsor, and attend at least one meeting a day, and do meditation and prayer, keep a gratitude list, have a sober network and reach out to newcomers -- all of which I know from 14 years previous solid recovery are very effective at arresting the disease, besides becoming a more serene and giving person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby5000
You have to explain how you have solved this problem. You DO NOT need to talk about he has to understand this "disease" and its causes and the difficulty of addressing it. All you have to convey to maximime your chance of saving the marriage is that this problem is done; disease, condition, addiction, or problem, the point is you have solved it.
You other language about disease etc may be perfectly appropriate in treatment sessions, but is not comforting to a spouse like your husband. Telling him every day is a struggle, many people cannot surmount this addiction, and recurrence is common and beyond the person's control, will not be a sufficient answer for him.
Bobby, it is very helpful for me to hear your perspective as someone who has been negatively impacted by this disease. I did not mean to imply in my letter to my H a strick comparision with other illnesses in terms of remission/recurrence rates -- and perhaps I should have emphasized this more clearly in the letter, but have told him verbally several times: the ONLY reason for my relapse was falling prey to the enemy of complacency and geting diconnected from my program and community of recovery. From what I have read and seen in many previous years in the rooms of AA, relapse is highly unlikely as long as one stays rooted in recovery. We have the evidence -- in my case it worked for me for 14 years and will work again, as long as I continue the treatment of working the program. That included getting through many stressful events and not drinking. Again, COMPLACENCY was my biggest enemy -- this is what I meant in the letter about showing him I am recommitted to my recovery and doing what is necessary (e.g. working a serious program) to make sure such a dreadful thing never happens again.
Thanks again for your valued and helpful perspective!
I would have left too if I was your husband. This is why. I was in AA for a couple years and I RAN! Alcoholism is not a disease, it's a choice. I read your letter. You blame a disease, you are victim to an illness. Wow, what hope is there in that? Read some non 12 step literature.
How about this letter?
Dear H, I went back to drinking to numb the boredom I felt in our marriage. I didn't have the courage to deal with it. When I drank, I neglected you and the house. I was incoherent and unreliable. I forgot to follow up on promises I made. I am sure you are angry and feel betrayed that I did not live up to the promises I made when we married. I will focus on rebuilding my life and give you the space you need. Let's have a date night soon.
For my husband, it took over a year of good actions on my part for him to be totally in love with me again. For so long, he worried that if he upset me, I would "relapse". I told him, Honey you are not responsible for my feelings. Wow, he felt such a relief.
You are blaming a disease for your drinking, and blaming him for not staying. How good is AA, really?
13Likes
Devastated!!!! Husband Left After I Got Sober 
