Re: My alcoholic husband doesn't love me
Okay here goes, I am currently married to a RECOVERING alcoholic, who has almost 21 yrs of sobriety - HOWEVER.. After our first 3 months together, everything went to hell in a handbasket.. Red flags flew up everywhere, but Litlo me thought, it was just a one time occurance - boy was I wrong.. My marriage has gone from LOVING to hating one another. Alcoholics or should I say, the one I am married to, has an addiction problem period.. He may have put that drink down, but nothin' else has changed.. The lies, the deceit and when I confront him with this, after I witnessed with my OWN eyeballs, he STILL lied!! There are major control issues and in a way I am glad AA is there for the alcoholics and I suppose it differs in them all, but mine has taken everything in life to extremes!! He has totally pushed me out of the picture, which has made me resentful as hell, I will not lie.. I am honest as they come and cannot for the life of me, understand why someone would blatantly lie after they were proven a liar.. He still uses the 'manipulation' and the program has actually made my hubs an extremely SELFISH man.. We are late in life married.. He has purposely done some awful things to me KNOWING as a wife I need things from him to be fulfilled.. After reaching out for help, he ALWAYS stopped dead center.. He's a control freak and when i get myself out of this one, I will NEVER again in my life get involved with an abuser of alcohol or one who is recovering.. Whether they are 'Active' or 'Sober'.. It's the epitome of hell for those of us who love them.. I didn't know him when he was actively drinkin', but his 'dry-drunk' behavior is totally unacceptable, so I cannot even imagine how he was while under the influence.. GOOD GRIEF!! I am not a stranger when it comes to alcohol or the AA program, I was once in Alanon for quite awhile, but at this point in my life, I've had enough.. This man doesn't respect me any longer and he refuses to cut the strings.. he tries to control every aspect of my life EVEN the way I think or feel about things or people.. I REFUSE TO BE CONTROLLED BY a sick individual.. I do believe there is more of a serious underlying problem, but until he LEARNS to be honest, which he still struggles with.. he's not gonna make it.. I sometimes question if he is bi-polar or even manic depressive.. He changes his mind and moods more than a babies diapers are changed - never seen nothin' like it in my 5 decades of life, but like I said, enough is enough.. I can't have inner peace when I'm struggling with this dysfunction in my life on a daily basis and boy does he play the pitiful victim part, extremely well may I add, but will twist and turn it to make me think or believe I'm the BAD person here.. Life's too short, I say get the hell away from anyone like that.. Just sharing my experience..