Alcohol addiction

3plus3 · 11-13-2007, 07:29 AM

My boyfriend (used to be fiance until I called it off recently) is heavily addicted to alcohol. He can only go one day without some. That's it. Tops, I haven't seen him go more than that. It is getting to the breaking point with me. Because he will go to a friends house and get so drunk that he won't come home. Some times it has been for at least 2 days before I saw him again. He is 39. So shouldn't he have all this partying and drinking out of his system by now?

draconis · 11-13-2007, 09:00 AM

Alcoholics are not that way. My father-in-law is 20 years sober and still struggles with it. If your boyfriend doesn't get some help somewheres then he will always be like this. AA is a very sobering experience to hear what people have thrown away, lost or almost lost. It is also a very humbling experience.

draconis

SageMother · 11-13-2007, 12:46 PM

It sounds as if he grew up with alot of restrictions and cut loose late in life. Maybe he "should" have had this out of his system but it isn't. You have done what is best for your life, can now move on.

As much as it might hurt, you have shown wisdom in not insisting he change his behavior.

bmtgrl · 11-13-2007, 02:29 PM

Don't marry him! He needs to get help. AA is a good thing. My brother has been sober for I think 9 or 10 years. IF he get's help and gets better, alcaholism is a disease, than you can consider marrying him.

riskey58 · 11-23-2007, 01:02 PM

My husband had a problem with alcohol for years. It just seemed like it would never stop. I raised two kids mainly by myself, because he was always drinking. I should have left looking back I see what a terrible life my kids had because of it, and it is something they will never forget. My kids are married have their own family, and I couldn't ask for two better kids. But if I had too do it again I would have made the move and gave them a better life. My husband has not drank in two years, and I hope it stays that way.

draconis · 11-23-2007, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by riskey58

My husband had a problem with alcohol for years. It just seemed like it would never stop. I raised two kids mainly by myself, because he was always drinking. I should have left looking back I see what a terrible life my kids had because of it, and it is something they will never forget. My kids are married have their own family, and I couldn't ask for two better kids. But if I had too do it again I would have made the move and gave them a better life. My husband has not drank in two years, and I hope it stays that way.

Good for him and you. I wish you the best.

draconis

SageMother · 11-23-2007, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmtgrl

Don't marry him! He needs to get help. AA is a good thing. My brother has been sober for I think 9 or 10 years. IF he get's help and gets better, alcaholism is a disease, than you can consider marrying him.

Though I can appreciate the hope, I think it would be a waste of time to step back into the relationship, even if he stops drinking.

A new life should be growing for her, and should be growing fast enough that she will be out of his reach when he finally gets things straightened out with himself.

riskey58 · 11-25-2007, 01:46 PM

I thank you. I just take day by day, and so far so good.

3plus3 · 12-06-2007, 01:52 PM

He really didn't have a restrictive upbringing. In fact he was born addicted to alcohol/drugs. His mother never really raised him, his grandmother did. Never knew his father. Started drinking when he was 9 and hasn't stopped. He can slow down if he wants to, I have saw him only consume about 22 ounces of alcohol a day if he wanted. But then I have also saw him consume an 18 pack of alcohol in a day if he wanted to.