My dad has an addiction issue. It started off with alcohol, then turned into gambling. He was roughly gambling 100k per year for several years. It wasn't much more then his income, but none of the bills were paid with his earnings. They were paid through loans, refinancing on the house(loans) and credit cards. The gambling finally ended from my mom, for the most part. My dad even lost high paying jobs due to gambling being more important then meetings or his work. He did use his work credit card, but my mother found out and paid it back before he was caught.
10 years after quitting, he was sneaking out again. I found 800 cash in his computer bag looking for a cord while visiting. I quickly gave it to my mother. It was confirmed he was gambling again.
It's a very hard and difficult process to stick with and correct. There are a lot of arguments. My mother turned out to be very controlling and with us kids too. She yelled constantly at us and my dad. It's her way or the highway. Even when I allowed them in my home to stay when my father lost his job.
My mother now and for a while has a spending addiction. She justifies it due to my dad wasting all that money through the years. I thank God I no longer live with them. They have so many issues, both lie. I can't handle that environment.
It's a life long commitment dealing with someone who has addictions. It's a disease and should be treated as one. I, for one, am not willing to put up with it from my life partner. I would of left long before, since I've lived a lifetime with the issue. Along with gambling is stealing and lying. Trust is thrown out the window.
Your stbxh will always gamble unless someone is there to babysit is every moment. There is nothing wrong with checking out of the marriage in my opinion. This is not what you signed up for.
My brother and I really did learn from our parents. We both are opposite from them. We don't drink, spend extra money on useless or luxury items or gamble at all.
Good luck in your future.