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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Relationships and Addiction » husband obsessed with huge breasts

Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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Old 06-28-2012, 05:57 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

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ok, so the other day my husband accidentally left his phone at home when he went to work. He has done this before and i have never looked through his phone or had the urge to, but for some reason on that particular day something told me to go through his internet history. I honestly didn't really think i would find anything, but in his history i found tens of dozens (if not hundreds) of times he had logged on to various pornography sites and all of them were of women with HUGE breasts. when i say huge, i don't mean like a D cup - i mean these women literally all had breasts the size of my head. And some of the sites were just of women with huge breasts taking off their tops and touching or shaking their breasts,etc. I confronted him about it when he got home and after not being able to speak for a while, he said he was so sorry and he would never do it again. i asked him how long this had been going on and he said since he got his new phone that has internet (which i think has been about a year.) i feel so hurt and like he is not attracted to me, although he says he is happy with my body. I am a 34D, but i feel so insecure now that i have seen what kind of breasts actaully turn him on. I am trying really hard to move on, but i think about this all the time and i don't know how to get over it. I would like to hear from anyone out there who can tell me if this is normal guy behavior, or if i should be worried.
Is it normal guy behaviour? No. Not at all. Ouch! Damn. My nose just grew and poked my damned monitor!

Normal? Probably!

34D? Hmmm. That sounds big enough... Oh. Sorry. Now I am blushing!
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Old 06-28-2012, 06:08 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

India Ink, i dont get this idea that men want to marry nice sweet women but stare at ****s. it doesn't make sense! if i get huge boobs does that make me a ****ty person all of a sudden and all my good qualities he wants in a wife will disappear? why wouldnt he want it ALL - the whole package - in one person. not to fantasize about one type of woman and be with another type of woman. it is mind blowing to me. I can see that i'm the only one on this forum with my point of view and i guess it will bother me forever and i will probably never get over it until i look like the women he stares at all day while he's not with me..
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Old 06-28-2012, 06:56 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

Betrayed, you have received multiple assurances that no, this doesn't mean anything and no, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love your breasts, but you don't want to hear them.

This is a fairly typical phenomenon on fora like these -- the person who is not looking for an answer so much as reinforcement in his/her determination to be offended no matter what.

We can't fix this for you. We've offered perspectives that you don't want to hear. So, be offended. Don't ever get over it. Ruin your marriage over this. It's really not going to hurt us at all. But is that the person you want to be?
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Old 06-28-2012, 07:09 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

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thanks for the reply. I completely get what you're saying. and honestly, if he had just been looking at random porn sites, i probably wouldn't have cared. it's just the fact that ALL the sites he went to were strictly of women with enormous breasts. maybe if there had been a little variety in what he was looking at it wouldnt have been so hurtful. its just the fact that now i know that's his "thing" which i dont have. its hard to accept..
You`re bound and determined NOT to get it aren`t you?

If it starts to sink in you`ll probably stop it from doing so somehow.
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Old 06-28-2012, 08:44 PM   #20 (permalink)
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you are all right in your comments that i probably came on here to get justification for how i feel. i don't get it and yes, i am completely utterly traumatized. i literally think about it all day, go to sleep thinking about it, dream about it, wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it, first thing i think in the morning.. i see huge breasts in my mind all the time now and i think am becoming obsessed with going online myself now to look at them and tell myself i'm not as attractive to him as all the women he looks at with huge boobs. every time we are intimate all i can think is he's probably wishing my boobs were like some of the ones he has been looking at online. it has completely just turned my whole sense of reality upside down. i feel like i'm going into depression and i am trying to keep up a good front for him because after letting him know for a few days how i was feeling, i felt like there's no sense in brining it up anyomore so he thinks everything is back to normal and fine, but it's totally not fine in my mind. i feel like things will never be the same between us. to top this off, i'm almost 3 months pregnant with our first child and now every day am thinking about how gross my body is going to be and he will be even less attracted to me once i have saggy lifeless breasts and stretch marks. i never had these thought before, i just thought he loved my body and would hopefully be ok with the changes but now i feel like i am not even happy about being pregnant any more. i'm just obsessing about wanting to have the perfect body for him and have it look like these women online that he likes. you could say i went from feeling very secure in his feelings about me to being completely insecure and thinking he probably has to fantasize about huge boobs just to be intimate with me. i know i'm driving myself crazy but i can't stop these thoughts! i am starting to feel like what else is he doing that i dont know about? has he been going to strip clubs after work or looking for other women. i dont think most people out there reading this grasp the amount of mental devastation this has caused.
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Old 06-28-2012, 09:34 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

LOL

Argghh...well I tried my best...i really did

Reread Lamaga's latest post until that sinks in...she's absolutely right

I shouldn't do this...but I can't help myself

So here's one quote from the great Marcus Aurelius and then I will step out of your thread...

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."


My Translation as it pertains to your situation:

"You are free to allow this porn situation to make you feel as miserable as you want. Or not. It's 100% YOUR CHOICE"

I'm sure you'll disagree. "No, no.. I can't help how this makes me feel."

In fact...you are the ONLY ONE who can choose how you want to let this affect you.

(Oh and this is one of life's greatest (and hardest) lessons in general...better to start learning it sooner rather than later....and admittedly, a lot of people will never learn it)


(also note...negative self-absorption is STILL self-absorption
(took me a long time to learn that)....you're making something that had absolutely nothing to with you....all about yourself...can you get over your self a little bit? c'mon now)

You opened Pandora's here...you can't close it again.

Move on or don't

It's totally your choice

Whether you realize it or not

Last edited by IndiaInk; 06-28-2012 at 09:38 PM.
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Old 06-28-2012, 09:50 PM   #22 (permalink)
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thanks all for your comments. i dont think i am strong minded enough to actually choose to get over it. i am starting to feel a deep hatred and resentment towards my husband and if i weren't pregnant, i would have already told him i want a divorce. but thanks again to all. at least now i know that probably 99.9 percent of women out there would probably have no problem with this, and i am in that 0.01 percent that can't "choose" to let it go.
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Old 01-02-2013, 10:13 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

I sympathize with your situation. Like a lot of guys, I'm a huge breast fan and occasionally visit websites that cater to men of our persuasion. My wife used to be large-breasted, but had a reduction years before I met her. It does make me sad to think of what could have been if we'd had the chance to love each other before. But I did marry her anyway and I don't regret it. If he says he loves you and his sex drive is strong, you should believe him. He's just a normal male who let his guard down. Damm those smart phones!
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Old 01-02-2013, 11:00 PM   #24 (permalink)
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This is just an excuse because if this is all it takes for you to want a divorce you should not be togethre in the first place.

You want to get back at him find a site that has guys with HIUGE penises leave it on so he see it and that will get to him or sit dow with him look at the porn and mention ever guy that has a huge penise/bigger then his and he will stop with the breasts.

But once again even if you are prego you just need to split now because there will be much bigger situations in life/marriage then this and you can't handle this.
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:51 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

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Originally Posted by Posse View Post
I love my new 2012 pickup truck.

I could have gotten a sport car if I wanted, but I didn't want that. I wanted the pickup truck I got. I absolutely love it. It is the best driving, most comfortable vehicle I have ever owned. It has bells and whistles on it that I could never get in a sports car or a motorcycle. I couldn't be more thrilled with the truck. It has a Cadillac-smooth ride (no small feat for a truck), has excellent cargo capacity, and is downright awesome to behold. I get multiple compliments on it daily. I wouldn't ever want to get rid of it for a sports car or a motorcycle. Driving it is pure joy, and is a thrill every time I get behind the wheel.

I still like looking at sports cars and motorcycles, though.
Yeah, I love my Jeep Wrangler but that doesn't mean that when a Ferrari or Vette drives by I don't look at it and think "wow, hot car!" I'd still keep my Jeep though even if I got a hot sports car.

I'm a 34D and I think I look pretty hot. Any bigger wouldn't look good IMO. I had a boyfriend who was like your husband. He LOVED big breasts. He thought my friend, who was much bigger than I but chubbier, was hot. I wouldn't have wanted to look like her. She was a size 16 and I was a 6. But he loved those breasts she had. Once I gave him a coffee cup that was just a pair of breasts and we laughed over that.

Another time I was at the beach with one of my girlfriend and he was with us. This girl with huge breasts was walking towards us on the beach. I said to my friend" Check out Dave" and there he was looking at her with his tongue hanging out and then he glanced over at me and my friend and I were cracking up. He started blushing. Ever seen a 6'2" guy blush? It's pretty damn funny.

Guys are just like that. My boyfriend used to say "Just cuz I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu".

I used to say in return "I don't care where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home."

Try not to take your husband too seriously. In fact, I'd say get a push up bra and some sexy lingerie and show him that he can get some serious action at home!

Be his sexy and hot girlfriend, not his nagging and jealous wife.
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:58 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Oh great..this thread is like 6 months old and poor Betrayed is popping out a baby and probably needs to lose 20lbs of baby fat but her breasts are a lot bigger.

I hope she got over this. She seemed rather obsessed about it but maybe it was the hormones. Prego women often go a bit insane. Ask me how I know...
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Old 01-09-2013, 01:51 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

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ok, so the other day my husband accidentally left his phone at home when he went to work. He has done this before and i have never looked through his phone or had the urge to, but for some reason on that particular day something told me to go through his internet history. I honestly didn't really think i would find anything, but in his history i found tens of dozens (if not hundreds) of times he had logged on to various pornography sites and all of them were of women with HUGE breasts. when i say huge, i don't mean like a D cup - i mean these women literally all had breasts the size of my head. And some of the sites were just of women with huge breasts taking off their tops and touching or shaking their breasts,etc. I confronted him about it when he got home and after not being able to speak for a while, he said he was so sorry and he would never do it again. i asked him how long this had been going on and he said since he got his new phone that has internet (which i think has been about a year.) i feel so hurt and like he is not attracted to me, although he says he is happy with my body. I am a 34D, but i feel so insecure now that i have seen what kind of breasts actaully turn him on. I am trying really hard to move on, but i think about this all the time and i don't know how to get over it. I would like to hear from anyone out there who can tell me if this is normal guy behavior, or if i should be worried.

Does he love your breasts?
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:53 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

have an E cup and my hubby still looks at other womens breasts, i tell him 50 % of them arent real ...... but it still hurts
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Old 01-14-2013, 11:50 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I have to say the men are visually driven when if come to the oposite sex, this is instictual. So a man looking at porn is nothing to be concerned about. Most men like the big tits and this to is encoded in the DNA/hormones/ and instinct. If thats what it takes for him then go with it, dont fight it cause that cant be helped. What concerns me about your post is the lack of trust that you have in each other. Looking through his/her phone is never a good idea. Guys likewise going through thier purse, checking thier internet use, this is stalking behavior and it has to do with your own insecurities. Wemen have the insecurities but most often this is the man doing this. This suspicion will only deepen with time and eventually leads to emotional and late physical abuse. Think about counciling.
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Old 01-21-2013, 03:10 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

Men like giant tits because they are an indicator of fertility and hormone levels.
Breast size is strongly correlated to BMI, height, and weight. That sounds redundant, but it's not. A taller woman with the same BMI will be heavier and have larger breasts. Breast size is affected by hormones and other things. They can be bigger if:
-high level sof insulin like growth factor
-high levels of estradiol
-high levels of progesterone
-lower levels of testosterone (this is why body builders have small breasts)
-increased levels of prolactin
-increased levels of luteinizing hormone
-low levels of follicle-stimulating hormone
-low levels of endogenous progesterone

Large boobs and wide hips are strong signs of being healthy and fertile. That's why men like these things.
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