husband obsessed with huge breasts - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #1 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-26-2012, 05:20 PM Thread Starter
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husband obsessed with huge breasts

ok, so the other day my husband accidentally left his phone at home when he went to work. He has done this before and i have never looked through his phone or had the urge to, but for some reason on that particular day something told me to go through his internet history. I honestly didn't really think i would find anything, but in his history i found tens of dozens (if not hundreds) of times he had logged on to various pornography sites and all of them were of women with HUGE breasts. when i say huge, i don't mean like a D cup - i mean these women literally all had breasts the size of my head. And some of the sites were just of women with huge breasts taking off their tops and touching or shaking their breasts,etc. I confronted him about it when he got home and after not being able to speak for a while, he said he was so sorry and he would never do it again. i asked him how long this had been going on and he said since he got his new phone that has internet (which i think has been about a year.) i feel so hurt and like he is not attracted to me, although he says he is happy with my body. I am a 34D, but i feel so insecure now that i have seen what kind of breasts actaully turn him on. I am trying really hard to move on, but i think about this all the time and i don't know how to get over it. I would like to hear from anyone out there who can tell me if this is normal guy behavior, or if i should be worried.
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post #2 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-26-2012, 05:39 PM
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

bigger are better sometimes.
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post #3 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-26-2012, 05:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

I'm not saying bigger is not nice, but i just don't understand why he chose me in the first place if he was not happy with me. he could have chosen someone else that looked like what he wanted instead of doing this behind my back..
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post #4 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-26-2012, 05:52 PM
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

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Last edited by Posse; 06-26-2012 at 05:58 PM.
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post #5 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-26-2012, 06:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

thanks for the reply. I completely get what you're saying. and honestly, if he had just been looking at random porn sites, i probably wouldn't have cared. it's just the fact that ALL the sites he went to were strictly of women with enormous breasts. maybe if there had been a little variety in what he was looking at it wouldnt have been so hurtful. its just the fact that now i know that's his "thing" which i dont have. its hard to accept..
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post #6 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-26-2012, 10:28 PM
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beelzebub View Post
bigger are better sometimes.
Yea, unless YOU are the one carrying them around! Trust me, it's not as great as you may think... backaches, neck aches, etc...

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
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post #7 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-27-2012, 07:32 AM
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

I agree it is nice to look at large breasts, but...

If I'm going to get intimate, I'll take real over size any day!
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post #8 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-27-2012, 07:35 AM
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

fantasy is different from reality

don't think he is settling for your smaller breasts

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post #9 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-27-2012, 07:47 AM
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

It's just a stupid compulsion, and he can't stop himself. It really doesn't have anything to do with you. And seriously, huge boobs (real ones) are gross. The implanted ones aren't much better, either.
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post #10 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-27-2012, 03:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

I understand porn is interesting. i even like watching it to see other people having sex or oral sex, etc, but i have never watched it because i wanted to look at other guys bodies. i just like to see what they are doing. it wouldn't have bothered me if he was just watching normal porn so he could see what people were doing to each other. he was specifically viewing sites of women with huge breasts sometimes they were even alone not even having sex so obviously the only reason he was watching it was to fantasize about their huge boobs. this is what is so upsetting. I asked him if he wanted me to get implants and he said no, he likes me the way i am, but i find that very hard to believe. i kept pushing the issue and finally he said ok, get them if you want but i think deep down that is what he really wants. i just feel so sad that he seems unhappy with what he has. i'm not small chested, but feel so completely inadequate. am i overreacting?
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post #11 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-27-2012, 03:40 PM
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

Oh, betrayed. In the gentlest way possible, yeah. I think you are, a bit. For one thing, you don't have small breasts if you are a D cup. I'm sure you are just what he wants. And yeah, he looks at big-breasted women in porn -- they're like you, but more so.

I don't pretend to understand the whole guy/porn thing, and I don't want this thread to turn into another referendum on porn, but I don't think this means anything about your relationship.

And I'm so sorry. I know this is hurtful for you.
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post #12 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-27-2012, 07:50 PM
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

your boobs are not small at all you should not be insecure but than again i understand if he is looking at huge boobs all day
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post #13 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-28-2012, 01:57 AM
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

*sigh*

Can you just blame yourself for snooping?..seriously...I think that's your best chance to "let this go"

Please do not spend another minute comparing your REAL-LIFE Breasts...to some porno pics

I guarantee you...to your husband...you are in another stratosphere all together (a far higher one)

As I'm sure you've heard a thousand times...women are not the same as men. There's a reason the porn industry caters to them...there's a reason they go to strip clubs and women don't...there's a reason both FEMALE and MALE prostitutes cater to men

The problem is:

although we can explain to ourselves the under-lying reasons with logic and biology...it's still REALLY hard to "understand" why they're so much more sex-focused ...

Simply because we aren't this way...and because there's no female equivalent...no analogy one can draw...and alas, nothing anyone can say that will make his "huge breast obsession" relateable to you

While everyone's different, for what it's worth, this is my general rule on pornography:

Don't ask, don't tell.

(don't go out of your way to find evidence of it's use (if it's going to be an issue for you)...and then, provided it's not a major problem/addiction, you'll never have to know)

Regarding "normal" male porn use---ignorance is bliss

Funny thing is...it's just evidence of him being a "red-blooded male"...if you'd found gay porn...or evidence of an affair...then you'd have reason to doubt, to be upset...and a reason to feel so awful

My guess is that even if you were willing to get triple J implants (or whatever)...he genuinely would hate that...also, when a guy's not attracted to his woman (it's really freaking obvious!!)...in general men are not subtle creatures sexually...if he enjoys sleeping with you...and wants to sleep with you...and MARRIED you...then trust me, he LOVES your breasts

Don't try to understand the fascination with naked ladies and boobs...it's a futile exercise in frustration....heck...guys can't even explain it themselves...I mean, as you saw when you confronted him...in a way they can be made deeply embarrassed by their fascination really

So, if you have a good, and faithful husband...just embrace this as one of life's unanswerable questions...and love yourself enough...give yourself enough credit...to confidently believe that your husband loves YOU and the breasts you come with...far more deeply and profoundly...than he does some anonymous pictures on his iphone

The more you dwell on this...the more you are choosing to torture yourself for NO GOOD REASON

So just stop it...okay?

I think you'll feel better

Last edited by IndiaInk; 06-28-2012 at 10:39 AM.
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post #14 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-28-2012, 09:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

India Ink, thank you for the reply. It's funny you should mention triple J breasts, because it seems like the girl who he had the most downloads of has that size. next to one of her pics it listed her size. Just curious, why would you say that if i were willing to get triple J implants my husband would probably hate it? why wouldn't he want me to look like what he secretly desires and fantasizes about. wouldn't he be happy if he could have that fantasy in real life too?
Also, if it were the other way around and he found out that i had downloaded dozens or hundreds of porn on my phone and every single one of them was about guys with enormous penises, i find it hard to belive that he wouldn't think that is what i wished he looked like and he would probably feel insecure about it...
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post #15 of 46 (permalink) Old 06-28-2012, 05:49 PM
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Re: husband obsessed with huge breasts

Have you googled men's opinions on fake breasts?

If not--- do it.

The things a guy looks for in his WIFE are often very different then the things he looks for to get off.

Men draw a clear dividing line in the brain between women they respect and women they use.

Your typical up-standing guy could be sexually attracted to a porn-star...but would he want her for a wife? Dear God NO!!!

In a way, it'd be nice if we could wave a magic wand that would give you a male sex drive/sexuality for a week...so that you could really feel the allure porn has to testosterone filled guys...even that very specific/fetish type of porn ( maybe large penises as you suggested)....

Then, have your husband find it and feel hurt and insecure ( yes, absolutely I think he would feel the same way you feel now)....and you would have the unpleasant, embarrassing task of trying to explain how your desire to look at that porn and your desire for your husband and his body are so apples to oranges...so night and day different...that his belief that your drive to look at large penises is in any way connected to your attraction to him...seems utterly ludicrous...that the porn drive is part of a powerful yet crude, animal sexual arousal that is a uncontrollable as sweating or breathing...and that you'd never think to give a minutes comparison between the two

Unfortunately, as women, we have no empathy with this porn-desire (and yes, even your own female 'interest' in porn...is not relateable to a man's interest in it...and never can compare).... so we have to take it on faith...or maybe take it based on the fact that the porn-stars, strippers and all the female workers of the seedy sex industry in this world....don't end up the "total catch" husbands...if they're married at all

I think he said "yes" to your question about implants after you'd pestered him because at this point he'd say anything to make you happy as he feels terrible ...

Personally, I don't know ANY men that wanted their wives to get implants..not saying they don't exist I'm just saying I don't know any (and I don't live in the bible-belt or anything remotely close)
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