Just need some ideas.
Hello to All,
For the past few years my wife and I have had our ups and downs. We met about 7 years ago and got married 3 years ago. We don't have any kids but pets. 2 and half years ago I got sent to the Northeast for work. I'm from the south as she is also. I was very upset and began drinking heavily. I also picked up the habit of online gaming. I work a fireman schedule where I'm gone for a couple days at the time. The drinking started out as "blowing off steam". But, I admit it took a turn for the worse. The online gaming was just as bad because I did these things together. She would cook dinner or want to cuddle, I wanted to drink and play games. So around Christmas she went home to visit family and I noticed a difference in her tone when she spoke to me. She came home and didn't hug me or kiss me or anything. In other word she ducking me. I found this odd. About this time I had to pay a few bills and I noticed a huge charge for text/picture mail. My wife had sent me a picture so I didn't think anything about it. Later that day she said she was going Christmas shopping and she didn't want me to go. This was really odd. We did this together for every year. So, later that night I tried to call her and she didn't answer. I texted her a bunch no response. This set my awareness up. So, she texted me back about 2hrs later and said she was shopping. But she didn't buy anything but a bag of dog food. I asked her where she was and same story. So, then I asked her about the male coworker whom she had been talking to for 1-2 hours on the phone with and texting 100-200 times a day as well. She said he was just helping her with work. She was part time and worked in retail and he's the manager. I said ok. So, i went away for a few days and got an email about a plan change on my cell phone for picture mail and texting. Christmas day a friend called and asked why my truck was at a motel. I didn't know anything about it but it was the day that she when shopping alone. I asked her and she said she when to a coffee place in front of the motel. I didn't do so, i knew she did. I asked her and she lied about it. So, a few days later I found out that sprint saves the pictures online. I logged into my account and there were about 10-15 pics of her and this man, not together but single pics. Dirty pics. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. I know the guy. I called him up and didn't threaten him or anything but calmly told him he disrespected me and that he shouldn't be in contact with her for anything. I told her I knew about the pics and she told me she didn't mean it, she was sorry crying boo-hoo and everything. That day we both said we were wrong in our actions and we wanted rebuild everything. I wouldn't drink and she would text this guy. We also went to marraige counselling. The first 2 sessions were great. Progress was rolling right along. Right before our anniversary my neighbors called me up and wanted me to come over. They told me about how my wife would tell them stuff about me and how she loved me so much. Then they told me that she would sit in the driveway on the phone and they would here stuff coming from the house like some one was watching porn. All the emotions came back. I looked on my pc and there was pornsite after pornsite. So I had enough. I wanted the truth. Did she sleep with this guy. She promised me she didn't. So, 5 days later she came home said she wasn't happy and wanted a divorce, then it when to "space". I said ok. She couldn't financially afford to live on her own. I told her I would help her. She found an apartment with 2 other men. I went through the roof. Any man would. So, she couldn't move in because of the pets. So we decided to stay in the house we are in. It's been about a month now and things were getting better til she started texting this guy at 11:00pm to 12:30 am. Not cool in my book. She tells me she's depressed but won't go talk to anybody. I don't know what to do. I know she hasn't cheated on me physically but she has with a cell phone. I can move on. She just keeps texting people all day everyday. There not all men. Mostly women. I don't if she is testing me or what. If somebody could relate or give me some tips it would be greatful. The marraige counseling is helping but, My problem is that she'll be negative about our relationship and then all I want to do is figure out if she is staying or leaving. Thanks.
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