blacksage

I've been everywhere tryig to get help with this. We have an appointment with a couples counselor on Tuesday but I want to hear from others. Here is the short version

After months of denial my fiancee admits she finds Rob Pattison (guy from Twilight) attractive. I did not have an issue with that.

We both frequent a forum where she mentioned she has a lot of pics of him saved, she has to downplay her attraction, etc. This time I blew up. I felt kinda stupid. But I could not figure out why she was being dishonest about it. I thiought it was something deeper.

So this is where we have our big problem. I got word that these twilight fanatics write dirty stories called fanfics. I confronted her on the issue and she said no. I got on the computer and her email is her homepage (which I told her not to do) and saw three chapter she wrote and her and rob having a sul relationship. These stories were explict and very detailed. I told her about it and she said she isjust being creative and is writing for an audience, I guess her forum members which I am no longer a part of. Last night she mentioned rob in her sleep and kpt moaning, I slept on the couch.

Is this normal? Am I a jealous wreck? Should she be on the forum at work, at home, while I am sleep, and take her laptop to the bathroom constantly reading working on this? where do I draw the line?

Sorry for the book

Blanca

You slept on the couch?!? man, next time that happens you wake her up and tell her to sleep on the couch.

She's way out of line. i dont think her behavior is normal at all. she's lost in a fantasy land and completely neglecting how its affecting you.

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GAsoccerman

I personally think you are being a jealous wreck here... I mean come on it's just a fantasy role. have some fun with it and dress like him and have some fun with it.


My wife is in love with the guy from the mentalist, she will DVR the show and watch it with her vibrator in hand.

It's healthy for her to have fantasies...do you not fantasize about other women?

It's perfectly normal.

blacksage

I have my fantasies but it never ends up on paper. I guess it was just deeper than that. The story was in this alternate reality where she had a completely different career and a relationship with this guy. There are some girls that I would love to ride me, but I dont fantasize about having RELATIONSHIPS with them. But if this is normal then I guess I will find a way to deal with it. I think I will make myself busy when she jumps on the computer.

KMDillon

I don't think it's normal. Those alternate reality sites often lead to unhealthy addictions. Regardless of normality, it hurts you and that makes it not ok. She can fantasize all she wants in her head but if seeing it in writing makes you feel betrayed it's worth discussing a compromise.

blacksage

So we had a long discussion and the conclusion is...nothing changes. She will continue to write her stories, but she will change the name. I will not read any of the new stories. She can stay up on the forum however much she likes because I should not dictate what she does in her spare time. The compromise is if there is ever a time I want her to hop off and do something with me, she will.

I guess that is normal...?

martino

My wife reads those romance novels, her sister I found out reads the explicit and filthy novels that really are porn for women. If your lady is obsessed with these stories you got a problem. If it's substituting for time and sex with you, it's a problem. If not cancel that appointment and read those stories when she isn't looking, you got a kitten purring there. If it isn't adversely affecting you two, she will resent you, and she will complain about you to her friends. They will agree with her. You may be painting yourself into a corner here dude!

GAsoccerman

I brought your problem up to my wife, becuase she is also a twiligth fan.

She agree's with me, you should buy a vampire outfit and some "white face" and fangs and do some Role playing with your wife...It will be an erotic fantasy for her and it could be allot of fun for you.

have some fun with it

blacksage

We actually went to see a counselor today. I am ok with the stories now. The financee explained them to me. I guess I am just one of those guys thats likes to thinks he only has eyes for me. As far as the white make-up goes...I'm black. Its just not going to happen. I ran it by the fiancee and she thinks it will be weird and she insists that she does not want to "do" Rob. She would like to throw some glitter on me and have "sparkle like a vampire."

GAsoccerman

so she dooes want to do the role play with you....have some fun with it.

Light some candles, put on some weird organ music (phantom of the opera), dress in a vampire costume, have some fun with it.

blacksage

I wish it were that simple. Her thing is deeper than Twilight though. In my opinion she is obsessed with anything Twilight related but has sexual fantasies about Rob P. Which means dressing up wont help me. Oh well.

preso

Love is not jealous.

blacksage

I dont understand. Are you saying I dont love my fiancee? We have been together for 9 years. I have never questioned my love for her. I might have some insecurity issues but for you to suggest that I do not love her is...wrong. You must mean that I am not jealous.

preso

what I mean is: love is not jealous. What you see as love may not be because jealousy is not real love.
Some people confuse control, obession, lust for love, but those are all their own things. If you truely love someone you would not be or feel jealous.
Love is patient, kind, does not demand it's own way, it is not jealous.

Sensitive

I think it is healthy to fantasize and write romance stories online. It can get suspicious if she is receiving private messages from other men on that forum site, or her behavior appears addictive, where it hinders your sex life. It sounds like you have the jealousy under control.