This is my story,
We've been together for 5 years and been married for 1 year. I am pregnant now with our first but I'm still on shape so far (I mean I didn't have my belly showing yet) during the time we use to date he use to have his total privacy, like I don't know his passwords or who is added in his messenger or who sent him email or whats in his computer you know..even when we moved together. but I know his wallpaper for the laptop was a naked girl and even he had prints as a cover for his work or personal files for almost naked girls..even after two years I saw some porno videos and photos in his computer but I didn't say anything..he was hiding it in a file under a school subject name any way, I just laughed and kept watching it and he was so embarrassed when he saw me but I told him I will choose one of them that I like the most to practice it tonight so he smiled..that was my reaction. I am open minded girl, I love to dress up and look sexy most of the time. I have all the naughty toys and night dresses and underwear, I would never wear granny panties, and open to any crazy sex. and he knows how horny I am all the time (no kidding) all the time. he was my first so I put all my passion for sex in him. I've never ever loved someone as I loved him. two years later. I use to travel a lot but he knows what type of girl I am that even if he put me in a room full of handsome guys I would still faithful and would never look at other guys. one time since them I used his computer and he forgot to log off is messenger as usual so I so bunch of girls email there and only one guy added to his messenger, i checked their profile and all of them in the age of (18, 21, 22 and one of them 16!!!) really!! 16!! we were both around 25. I confront him with that after one year when he was flirting with a girl online and he said he thought she was me and thought that I was trying to punk him!! really! asking her if she tried 3 some and if she wanna try it with him!!! hmmm since then he deleted everybody from his messenger all the porno (although i didn't ask him to do that but I thoguht that was sweet until i discovered that he only did it coz he already has a list of sites full of movies and stuff) any way we got married after that, I love him with everything I am and can't imagine to stay away from him not even one minute. we had ups and downs since then, but we had some naughty moments. I always initiate it. whether to join me to watch porno then do it or do some naughty show for him and it goes fine. the problem is, he still sneak behind me to watch porno and not any porno! last week I was laying with him on the bed (I was wearing nothing) I started to play with him but he kept pushing my hand when ever I try to touch his private area..I was even hoping that he would enjoy touching my body at least but he wouldn't then he told me that he will go in the living room to study before he go to school, after he left, I checked the computer and saw what really broke my heart! he was looking up some teenagers nude bunch of girls like each one has so many pix of her strippin all around her room and place. they wasn't porno star just regular girls, in a moment i was scared that they might the girls from his class or something man oh man! did that smash my heart or what. and some photos for the lovely miss California (the goat face)!! really!! you leave your young attractive wife naked on ur bed to come to see these craps!!!!! my eyes was shading tears and my heart was tearing off! since then I kept the photos there, wrote him a letter about all what i feel. and never talked to him since then. I warned him before if he ever stared at girls boobs I will wear like her so ppl would stare at mine and if he stared at any girl back or anything I'd do the same but he kept doing it. the thing is that i don't stare at guys i really feel shy, but I'm fed up now and my revenge was to wear exposing clothes when we go out, don't talk to him, we don't sleep in the same bed any more and I put naked photos for guys all over my computer. he said sorry once last time after I wrote him this note before we sleep but I didn't forgive him so we still ignoring each other. My note was: [[I use to dream about you every single day (no kidding, he's always in my dreams) but since I started to enjoy the life the way you do and started to look up naked sexy men, now I dream about them, not you any more, not any more. ]].
I really started to dream that I'm dating these guys and they are so romantic with me in the dream! it felt so real..but it really broke my heart!! I've never dream about another man since I was with him!! it just break my heart that we are still in young age and the early of our married and this happen to us..what would happen when I'm 50 or 60!! he would bring those young girls to our place or what!! it might be small thing but it just remind me of all the things that i hate about him, like we never did it in public. I know he did it in public before and did couple sex and all these things but why can't he do those spontaneous things with me!! or he just love to do it with younger girls!! one time in our anniversary, i was wearing sexy mini skirt and tank top and I whispered to him (I'm not wearing pantie
) and he replied: (shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!) start looking around like he was worry if someone heard!! then said lets just eat..!!! really!! thats it!!! any way i told him soooooooooo many times you never do something romantic or spontaneous with me and that break my heart everytime I see movie or other couple doing it..any way its like I'm talking to the wall, and that's why it hurts me when he prefer to look at other girls..its like I'm not enough for him..he just keep saying he loves me so much and that's it. I don't expect any better from him.. oh and is that normal!! he always look around everywhere we go..he always check the people around us..I never do that!! and when we back to our place, before we enter the door he check the open windows around us (I know there is bunch of girls living in the two flats above us, so may be he's hoping to caught them changing their clothes or something!!) and yes I told him that in a sweet way before but he denied that he look at the people around him so I just ignored that..I start to do the same but it didn't even bother him, I don't even think he notice coz he's always busy checking other girls..
is all the married people suffer the same life we had and the good guys is only in our imagination and not existed or what!! how to deal with all that to find the peace and happiness in the marriage life!!
P.S. we are 27 about to be 28 soon.