Husband and Teenage pornography
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Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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Old 05-08-2009, 05:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Angry Husband and Teenage pornography

This is my story,

We've been together for 5 years and been married for 1 year. I am pregnant now with our first but I'm still on shape so far (I mean I didn't have my belly showing yet) during the time we use to date he use to have his total privacy, like I don't know his passwords or who is added in his messenger or who sent him email or whats in his computer you know..even when we moved together. but I know his wallpaper for the laptop was a naked girl and even he had prints as a cover for his work or personal files for almost naked girls..even after two years I saw some porno videos and photos in his computer but I didn't say anything..he was hiding it in a file under a school subject name any way, I just laughed and kept watching it and he was so embarrassed when he saw me but I told him I will choose one of them that I like the most to practice it tonight so he smiled..that was my reaction. I am open minded girl, I love to dress up and look sexy most of the time. I have all the naughty toys and night dresses and underwear, I would never wear granny panties, and open to any crazy sex. and he knows how horny I am all the time (no kidding) all the time. he was my first so I put all my passion for sex in him. I've never ever loved someone as I loved him. two years later. I use to travel a lot but he knows what type of girl I am that even if he put me in a room full of handsome guys I would still faithful and would never look at other guys. one time since them I used his computer and he forgot to log off is messenger as usual so I so bunch of girls email there and only one guy added to his messenger, i checked their profile and all of them in the age of (18, 21, 22 and one of them 16!!!) really!! 16!! we were both around 25. I confront him with that after one year when he was flirting with a girl online and he said he thought she was me and thought that I was trying to punk him!! really! asking her if she tried 3 some and if she wanna try it with him!!! hmmm since then he deleted everybody from his messenger all the porno (although i didn't ask him to do that but I thoguht that was sweet until i discovered that he only did it coz he already has a list of sites full of movies and stuff) any way we got married after that, I love him with everything I am and can't imagine to stay away from him not even one minute. we had ups and downs since then, but we had some naughty moments. I always initiate it. whether to join me to watch porno then do it or do some naughty show for him and it goes fine. the problem is, he still sneak behind me to watch porno and not any porno! last week I was laying with him on the bed (I was wearing nothing) I started to play with him but he kept pushing my hand when ever I try to touch his private area..I was even hoping that he would enjoy touching my body at least but he wouldn't then he told me that he will go in the living room to study before he go to school, after he left, I checked the computer and saw what really broke my heart! he was looking up some teenagers nude bunch of girls like each one has so many pix of her strippin all around her room and place. they wasn't porno star just regular girls, in a moment i was scared that they might the girls from his class or something man oh man! did that smash my heart or what. and some photos for the lovely miss California (the goat face)!! really!! you leave your young attractive wife naked on ur bed to come to see these craps!!!!! my eyes was shading tears and my heart was tearing off! since then I kept the photos there, wrote him a letter about all what i feel. and never talked to him since then. I warned him before if he ever stared at girls boobs I will wear like her so ppl would stare at mine and if he stared at any girl back or anything I'd do the same but he kept doing it. the thing is that i don't stare at guys i really feel shy, but I'm fed up now and my revenge was to wear exposing clothes when we go out, don't talk to him, we don't sleep in the same bed any more and I put naked photos for guys all over my computer. he said sorry once last time after I wrote him this note before we sleep but I didn't forgive him so we still ignoring each other. My note was: [[I use to dream about you every single day (no kidding, he's always in my dreams) but since I started to enjoy the life the way you do and started to look up naked sexy men, now I dream about them, not you any more, not any more. ]].
I really started to dream that I'm dating these guys and they are so romantic with me in the dream! it felt so real..but it really broke my heart!! I've never dream about another man since I was with him!! it just break my heart that we are still in young age and the early of our married and this happen to us..what would happen when I'm 50 or 60!! he would bring those young girls to our place or what!! it might be small thing but it just remind me of all the things that i hate about him, like we never did it in public. I know he did it in public before and did couple sex and all these things but why can't he do those spontaneous things with me!! or he just love to do it with younger girls!! one time in our anniversary, i was wearing sexy mini skirt and tank top and I whispered to him (I'm not wearing pantie ) and he replied: (shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!) start looking around like he was worry if someone heard!! then said lets just eat..!!! really!! thats it!!! any way i told him soooooooooo many times you never do something romantic or spontaneous with me and that break my heart everytime I see movie or other couple doing it..any way its like I'm talking to the wall, and that's why it hurts me when he prefer to look at other girls..its like I'm not enough for him..he just keep saying he loves me so much and that's it. I don't expect any better from him.. oh and is that normal!! he always look around everywhere we go..he always check the people around us..I never do that!! and when we back to our place, before we enter the door he check the open windows around us (I know there is bunch of girls living in the two flats above us, so may be he's hoping to caught them changing their clothes or something!!) and yes I told him that in a sweet way before but he denied that he look at the people around him so I just ignored that..I start to do the same but it didn't even bother him, I don't even think he notice coz he's always busy checking other girls..

is all the married people suffer the same life we had and the good guys is only in our imagination and not existed or what!! how to deal with all that to find the peace and happiness in the marriage life!!

P.S. we are 27 about to be 28 soon.
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Old 05-08-2009, 06:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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For whom ever say its fine and normal for a guy to look at nude girls photos or videos, is it fine for you too that other guys stare at your wife most private areas in her body?!!! or you think its something special for you!
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Old 05-08-2009, 06:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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BTW, he saw the nude guys in my computer coz I showed him last night before I sleep and guess what! he's just acting normal and smiling and so clam today..reading his books so calm! like it meant nothing to him..does that mean he has no feeling to me? if you love your wife so much, would it be fine for you that she look at naked hot guys online??
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Old 05-08-2009, 09:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
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well, you know i went through the whole porn battle with my H too. i tried to be cool with it at first but then realized it just wasnt going to work for me. So i told my H he has to go to counseling and work on never looking at it again, or im going to have to leave. Of course, it didnt come out that nicely, or that well, it came out in sporadic fights and emotional chaos. he goes to counseling now and has stopped looking at porn, at least as far as i know. i dont think i coudl have stayed otherwise.
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Old 05-08-2009, 09:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I know it seems like I'm writing to my self but no one else I really can talk to, he use to be my close friend and now since talkin to him change nothing and even though he knows that he hurts me, it doesn't seem like he even care.

I'm just depressed as hell..
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Old 05-08-2009, 09:58 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by broken0heart View Post
he use to be my close friend and now since talkin to him change nothing and even though he knows that he hurts me, it doesn't seem like he even care.

I'm just depressed as hell..
ya i know exactly what you mean. when id try and talk to my H he would actually just ignore me. he wouldnt say a thing. so of course i escalated. it was jsut awful. ive come to terms with the fact that at that point in our relationship, he didnt care about me. he was just a self-centered a** just trying to cover up his addiction. he didnt care about anyone but himself.
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Old 05-08-2009, 10:47 PM   #7 (permalink)
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OMG, since when did that started?? I mean your husband with his addiction and ignorance?! what scared me that it's only one year since we've been married!! what would happen then after 10 or 20 years!!

Man I'm so worry, specially that there is a baby in the way..
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Old 05-08-2009, 10:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
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the funny thing, I told him no more sex for him and he's totally cool with that. Now we're watching TV and he's having fun and laughing at the show and enjoying the silence between us!
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Old 05-08-2009, 11:39 PM   #9 (permalink)
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even the show that made him lough it made me cry my eyes out! the guy was cryin coz he didn't want no one to "hurt his girlfriend" ..and my man is hurting me and like nothing happened..man, I felt I'm outta love!! I really thought he loved me so much!! damn all those romantic movies and novels that deluded us.....
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Old 05-09-2009, 11:56 AM   #10 (permalink)
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OMG, since when did that started?? I mean your husband with his addiction and ignorance?! what scared me that it's only one year since we've been married!! what would happen then after 10 or 20 years!!
It started for me about two months after we were together, only i was too emotionally inept to recognize what was going on. i thought it was me. things got really bad after i moved states with him, which was five months after we'd been together. after i moved with him i found the porn, some horrible letters from his mom, and found out he really didnt want to marry me (i only moved with him b/c i thought he wanted to get married). the sh*t hit the fan, so to speak. From that point on we had horrible fights pretty much every weekend for years.

things have only started getting better within the last few months, and we've been together for four years. I know exactly how you feel about being ignored and the pain from it all. it really was the worst years of my life.

Just hang in there and work on yourself. you are the only person you have control over. the pain from realizing the man that was supposed to love and honor you can be overwhelming, and you will get very depressed, and that's ok. but remember that you are the only one that can bring yourself out of it. he wont help you. that's just something you'll have to learn if you want to get better and feel good about yourself again.
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Old 05-16-2009, 10:26 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and Teenage pornography

Do you think looking at men is going to help the situation? It sounds like you are doing that to get back at him. If youare trying to teach him a lesson you might want to remember how hurt you were by what he is doing. I know you would not want him to feel that pain.

In addition to talking to him about his behavior, I think you should talk to him about his reactions. Let him know how you feel about being rejected. Let him know you are not happy with your sex life.

It sounds like your husband "checked out." I think you need to let him know that you need to know he cares, and he needs to do things to show you this.

As far as the underage women, that is illegal and that should stop immediately.

Maybe the stress of his first child is getting to him?

Thank you for helping me with my problem, BTW.

good luck
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Old 05-21-2009, 09:54 AM   #12 (permalink)
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ouch.. wow this is so much like me.. except I already have kids and they know whats going on...

My H was into the "younger" porn thing to.. but now his tastes have intesified to BDSM and any kind of "pain inflicted" sex. It's nasty.. anyway....

My point is.. this child thats on the way.. you need to think about that before anything else in my opinion. I caught my H watching porn with my 2 year old (at the time) daughter on his lap!!! I FLIPPED out. What happens when she gets older????? OMG the thought makes me want to vomit now even.... and I'm still here 5 years later. Cuz I'm a coward.. cuz I've been stupidly ignoring it all.

You are going to have a long hard road to travel if you don't nip this problem in the bud now!! Suggest therapy.. suggest SAA (sex addicts anonymous).. suggest ANYTHING before that baby comes!!!!

Porn has made my H so desensitized about sex, about our relationship an dour family, that he doesn't even realize it's destroying us.

I wish you the best, and if you ever need ANYTHING.. please messege me.
SB
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Old 10-22-2009, 11:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
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the funny thing, I told him no more sex for him and he's totally cool with that. Now we're watching TV and he's having fun and laughing at the show and enjoying the silence between us!
I said the same thing my my H and he was fine with it he even said-- Like anythings changed you never initiate sex andyways its always me...which is rediculous I came into this relationship from a previous one we had sex at LEAST once a day everyday and now we have sex MAYBE 3 times a month. and i really think its because of the porn he says my post pregnancy body has nothing to do with it but i dont see him looking at Normal girls that have chub opr stretch marks.. all perfect bodies[ maybe not cute faces] but they are all skinny . and all blonde
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