Hubby's Addiction Destroying Our Family

michzz · 06-10-2009, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy55

I have a suggestion and it is what it is but it would work I believe.
But, you MUST be smart and brave about it.

YOU Call Child Protective Services.

Tell a worker what is going on. Tell them you got him into therapy but he quit, tell them the whole story and what you have been going through.

THEY may be able to get you a restraining order for the CHILDREN's protection which will require he move out and only have supervised visits with the kids.

Now, what you need to be smart about is emphasizing how much YOU have been doing to protect the children. ASK them if they can not help you get HIM out of the house, if you can place the children with a relative or if they have a temp foster place for them. Bottom line is you need to protect your kids.

Tell your dh NOTHING about the fact you have called CPS, but tell your dh if you don't stop right NOW, "I cannot not allow the kids to stay where they are seeing this garbage, I have to protect them as their mother..."

The reason I tell you to be smart and careful is that you must be sure CPS understands that YOU have been working to protect your children to the best of your ability. You don't want it to seem as if you are not doing your best to protect your children. I am sure they are seeing more and more issues with wives and porn and kids....you are likely not the FIRST case like this!

They are going to ask why you have not moved out...or seen an attorney to help you. You need to tell them you have no money, no job, if you do not, they will help you I do believe.

Tell them you want all this documented...and if push comes to shove, YOU and the kids MOVE to a shelter; they have attorneys who do pro bono work for SAHM like you.

You need to get him out and away from your kids. When I read he had your two year old on his lap while watching porn I nearly had a stroke: I have worked with abused children, worked in court cases; your dh is sick and it makes me sick to think of what he could be doing to your small child and you not even realize it.

NUMBER ONE: Protect those kids.

Sufficiently Breathless · 06-17-2009, 08:34 AM

You would think my H knows I don't trust him with my children. I never leave them alone with him since that incident. But either he doesn't realize or doesn't care... never says a word about it.

In any event a strange new twist has been added to my story. I use my computer for school. I am in my 3rd year studying psychology hoping to get into social work when I get my degree. Usually I lock my computer so H can't get on it, cuz when he does he looks up massive amounts of pornography. But yesterday I fell asleep with my kids before he came home from work, and left my computer on with a paper up that I was typing.

When he got home he realized we were sleeping and must have noticed the computer was not locked. He got into it and looked into my internet history, asking why I was looking up this and that on google. I told him I was doing research for a paper.

Then he asked why I was getting emails from my cousin out of state, and why she had sent one that said "she would be there for me no matter what happened". I told him that I had went to her for support. That I spoke to her about what was going on in our marriage and I needed someone to talk to. He was so p*ssed, saying I shouldn't be airing our personal issues to everyone.

So why the hell is he snooping around the computer wondering what I'm looking at?? What gives him a right to, when we are basically seperated living in the same house until i can get the money to move out?

I have nothing to hide from him, it's not like I'm seeing anyone. Is it because he's feeling guilty for all the online affairs and the meetup sites he was visiting for affairs?

It just irks me that he would even snoop like that. I have never been anything but honest with him.. when hes been hiding things from me for over 7 years. JERK!!! GRRRRRRRRR