Not an alcoholic but - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

User Tag List

 58Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #61 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-18-2013, 08:17 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,546
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrClean View Post
For you to be on a forum with a thread named "Not an alcoholic but..." is a sign that perhaps you using alcohol is a not a good idea. The idea of moderation goes out the door once you catch that buzz. You are questioning yourself of your need for it, so stop while you are ahead. Make yourself proud! Don't want to get hell from your colleagues or friends? Who cares! The true friends will stick by you and be proud of you. Just don't buy anymore. It is simple. I quit cold turkey. I actually now keep alcohol in the house for guests and not even one time has it ever crossed my mind to have a drink.

Going a whole weekend without a drink is easy. When you can go a weekend without wanting or thinking about one then you are getting some where.

You don't have to be an alcoholic to stop drinking.

Does your wife drink?
The point of my thread was to help myself be able to drink, just not drink too much.
My wife drinks occasionally
gbrad is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #62 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-18-2013, 09:14 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,164
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Gbrad---

I think I drink like you do. Many years back...over 20 years ago, I stopped cold turkey and went to A.A. I enjoyed going, I made some friends, and it kept me busy so I didn't have time to drink. I guess I got the "7 year itch" because I started to drink again. For 8 or so more years, I was able to have just one drink at a restraunt with my wife. All seemed fine.

Then I went through a real crazy stressful time. It built up over time. My dad passed away as well as two of my brothers and much much more.

I started to keep wine at home. Which for me was a problem. I can't stop at just one glass of wine. I proved I can go days, weeks months and even years without alcohol and I convince myself AND OTHERS that I am not an alcoholic.

So a while back I told my wife I thought I was an alcoholic. She laughed a little and told me I wasn't. To paraphrase what she said..

" how can you be an alcoholic?... You work hard, you never drink during the day, even if you drink a bottle of wine, it's over the course of the evening and you don't seem drunk. You wake up without an alarm clock. Your not angry or violent when you drink. You make more money now more than ever before. You work hard, you've earned it...I can go on..."


Being that my wife doesn't drink at all, I would think that she would be the first to tell me to stop. or say something like ...I like it better when you don't drink.

I still started to go to meetings again. for 6 months or so. My wife would rather me be home in the evenings instead of going to meetings, even if I drink a few glasses of wine. I think that I am such a high functiong alcoholic, I can easily hide it from others as well as myself. Most people I socialize with don't believe I am an alcoholic either...I don't get it.

YOU are the only one that knows if there is a problem involving alcohol...

Even though I know in my gut the I have a problem with alcohol, I still drink. I have so many events I go to with my work it's hard not to. A drink helps me be a little more social. When I am out and about, I stop at 2 drinks...ALWAYS...

At home, I buy just one bottle of wine at a time. For a while, I bought it by the case. It was cheaper that way.
Trickster is offline  
post #63 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-18-2013, 10:08 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 256
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Quote:
Originally Posted by gbrad View Post
The point of my thread was to help myself be able to drink, just not drink too much.
My wife drinks occasionally
So your point was to justify your position and help you to stay a responsibly drinker?

Have you ever been drunk? How many times in your life? If you mess with the bull, someday you will get the horn.

Your life would be better without it.
eyuop is offline  
post #64 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-18-2013, 11:00 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 27
Re: Not an alcoholic but

I tried the only buy a six pack or bottle at a time trick just to find myself driving under the influence to get more. Doesn't work.
MrClean is offline  
post #65 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-18-2013, 07:26 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,546
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Quote:
Originally Posted by eyuop View Post
So your point was to justify your position and help you to stay a responsibly drinker?

yes
Have you ever been drunk? yesHow many times in your life? sick, throwing up serious hangover drunk, only a handful of times If you mess with the bull, someday you will get the horn.

Your life would be better without it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanne View Post
In general, the advice seems to be to enjoy alcohol if the taste suits you, but if it's a problem, i.e. using it to unwind or deal with stressful situations, than it is best to abstain.

I think what gbrad is asking, is it okay to "temporarily" abuse alcohol during stressful seasons of life, and if so, how do you know if it is becoming a problem. What are the issues if it is not affecting his life otherwise?

I don't think it is abusing alcohol just because you are having some in a stressful situation. It is just one method to relax, even at times let down your inhibitions, and have a little fun

He already answered "no" to many of the alcohol abuse questions. He works. He is not driving while intoxicated. Nobody is complaining about his drinking.

Is he justified in his use?
gbrad is offline  
post #66 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-18-2013, 08:06 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 256
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Time will tell. Come back here in a couple of years, gbrad. If you are still just fine and end up not abusing alcohol or becoming more dependent than you already are, then you can prove your point to all of us. If you can remain like this indefinately, then you can really prove your point. Time will tell -- but the odds are way against you -- that's all me and a bunch of others are saying. The odds are that you will progress down the slippery slope into alcoholism. You are betting you can stay just past the top of the slide and not go down any further, and you are convinced that being in that spot is where you will stay, and it is just fine for you to stay there. Us random forum people out there in internet land will probably never know if you end up going down the slide further or not. We probably will not see you here if you hit bottom, either. So we will most likely never know how well you managed. All the best!
eyuop is offline  
post #67 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-21-2013, 01:41 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,546
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Went over a week without, had a couple drinks this weekend.
gbrad is offline  
post #68 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-21-2013, 01:51 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 27
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Does your wife really know how much you were drinking? Would it concern her if she did since it obviously concerned you a little.
MrClean is offline  
post #69 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-21-2013, 04:27 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,546
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrClean View Post
Does your wife really know how much you were drinking? Would it concern her if she did since it obviously concerned you a little.
She knows I drink some. She has no idea how much really though. And yes, she would be more concerned than me. Thus why I had to keep some of it from her, to keep her from worrying when there was nothing to worry about.
gbrad is offline  
post #70 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-21-2013, 04:37 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 406
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Wow. Slippery slope gbrad. I'd say you are.
Posted via Mobile Device
Thoreau is offline  
post #71 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-21-2013, 04:39 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,546
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thoreau View Post
Wow. Slippery slope gbrad. I'd say you are.
Posted via Mobile Device
I have friends who know how much I drink, just not her. It is not like I keep it a complete secret. She would just react more than most.

Last edited by gbrad; 04-21-2013 at 04:45 PM.
gbrad is offline  
post #72 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-21-2013, 04:42 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 406
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Rock on.
Posted via Mobile Device
Thoreau is offline  
post #73 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-21-2013, 08:43 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 27
Re: Not an alcoholic but

But gbrad... You are worrying yourself. I used to hide how many I really had too.

Does she ever ask you how many drinks you had in any particular night?

Let's assume you only drank beer. If SHE thought you had a 3 beers then how many did you really have?

Last edited by MrClean; 04-21-2013 at 08:49 PM.
MrClean is offline  
post #74 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-21-2013, 10:42 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,546
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrClean View Post
But gbrad... You are worrying yourself. I used to hide how many I really had too.

Does she ever ask you how many drinks you had in any particular night?

Let's assume you only drank beer. If SHE thought you had a 3 beers then how many did you really have?
She doesn't really ask. If she does ask I don't usually give a number. Might just say, I had a drink.
gbrad is offline  
post #75 of 129 (permalink) Old 04-21-2013, 10:54 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 27
Re: Not an alcoholic but

Between getting off of work on Friday and tonight. How many drinks did you have?
MrClean is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
alcoholic husband kcc01 Relationships and Addiction 23 06-27-2013 11:59 PM
AH and non-alcoholic beer? Riven Relationships and Addiction 14 06-04-2012 09:12 PM
Am I an alcoholic? questionme2 General Relationship Discussion 20 09-02-2011 05:08 PM
alcoholic??? voivod Relationships and Addiction 64 09-12-2010 10:18 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome