Thought 2nd time around was THE one.
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Relationships and Addiction » Thought 2nd time around was THE one.

Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-28-2013, 12:25 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
bearlakegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6
Question Thought 2nd time around was THE one.

I was married to my second husband for seven years when we separated and then three years into working on it divorced. After our divorce is when he pursued getting back together with me. I resisted but after four years of counseling, marriage workshops, a lot of soul searching and faith to say the least, we remarried. We had both changed for the better and felt that not only had we always been friends even in our worst of times we were making the right decision for our kids, ourselves and our new household.
Our reasons for divorce in the first place were the disagreements on how to raise my daughter who he had adopted and his two sons that lived with us full time. We lived next door to my in-laws in a house that was he and his first wife's but the biggest reason was his infidelity..the texting,e-mails, going on drives that even resulted in a unusual arrest and the lying, which of course caused my anger, yelling, depression, I thought I would go insane but luckily started personal counseling and realized I was better than that. I moved out and found myself and confidence.
We put our old marriage behind us and started completely over. He said he would never hide anything from me, that he was transparent and I would never wonder about him again in that way. We came together to compromise on parenting and met in the middle. We sold our house beside his parents and bought a new one across town so that we would have boundries. He was transparent and just as every couple have disagreements we WERE good.We lost almost every friend and couple we had been friends with because no one understood what lengths we had gone through to change.
So four months before our third wedding anniversary I grabbed his phone one night to call mine because I had lost it in the house somewhere and had saw sexual texts with a woman who I had never found as a threat. Digging a little deeper with in a month I found about fifty porn sights in his favorites on his laptop, 129 files of pictures and video of him and other women (not one of me) and a video card from his old phone with more pictures and a full lenth video of another woman and himself in a motel room doing everything I did not want to see. Who knows what else is out there and this is just what he had documented. Breaking EVERY vow, trust and honesty that I thought we had built is now gone. I need advise..I still have two teen-agers at home, a house that in lack of better words I have made mine and a husband who is possibly addicted to sex, alcohol and porn. I decribe as a "timeline" he has never stopped cheating and sex in his life in his history of women ever.
We were supposed to live happily ever after but I know where this all can lead because I have lived it once before with this man and now feel trapped among other things.
bearlakegirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2013, 12:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Az
Posts: 424
Default Re: Thought 2nd time around was THE one.

Kind of a hard read but the jist I believe is that your husbands spots haven't changed.

He's still a leopard.
Ostera is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2013, 01:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
Registered User
 
bearlakegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6
Default Re: Thought 2nd time around was THE one.

Well said, thank you!
bearlakegirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
addictions, divorce counseling, infideility, second marriage

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
2nd time around I thought would be better bearlakegirl Considering Divorce or Separation 1 03-27-2013 08:32 AM
Wife went from full time to part time. (Im just ranting) suspiciousOfPeople The Men's Clubhouse 18 01-12-2013 08:50 AM
I am an Effed up mess! ...thought time would help.... raising5boyz Life After Divorce 12 02-13-2012 02:25 AM
I thought it was Him the whole time, but now im starting to think its me TV249 Considering Divorce or Separation 16 01-18-2012 03:49 PM
What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time LexusNexus General Relationship Discussion 63 11-17-2011 11:03 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads





Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:45 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage