03-28-2013, 12:25 PM
Join Date: Mar 2013
| | Thought 2nd time around was THE one.
I was married to my second husband for seven years when we separated and then three years into working on it divorced. After our divorce is when he pursued getting back together with me. I resisted but after four years of counseling, marriage workshops, a lot of soul searching and faith to say the least, we remarried. We had both changed for the better and felt that not only had we always been friends even in our worst of times we were making the right decision for our kids, ourselves and our new household.
Our reasons for divorce in the first place were the disagreements on how to raise my daughter who he had adopted and his two sons that lived with us full time. We lived next door to my in-laws in a house that was he and his first wife's but the biggest reason was his infidelity..the texting,e-mails, going on drives that even resulted in a unusual arrest and the lying, which of course caused my anger, yelling, depression, I thought I would go insane but luckily started personal counseling and realized I was better than that. I moved out and found myself and confidence.
We put our old marriage behind us and started completely over. He said he would never hide anything from me, that he was transparent and I would never wonder about him again in that way. We came together to compromise on parenting and met in the middle. We sold our house beside his parents and bought a new one across town so that we would have boundries. He was transparent and just as every couple have disagreements we WERE good.We lost almost every friend and couple we had been friends with because no one understood what lengths we had gone through to change.
So four months before our third wedding anniversary I grabbed his phone one night to call mine because I had lost it in the house somewhere and had saw sexual texts with a woman who I had never found as a threat. Digging a little deeper with in a month I found about fifty porn sights in his favorites on his laptop, 129 files of pictures and video of him and other women (not one of me) and a video card from his old phone with more pictures and a full lenth video of another woman and himself in a motel room doing everything I did not want to see. Who knows what else is out there and this is just what he had documented. Breaking EVERY vow, trust and honesty that I thought we had built is now gone. I need advise..I still have two teen-agers at home, a house that in lack of better words I have made mine and a husband who is possibly addicted to sex, alcohol and porn. I decribe as a "timeline" he has never stopped cheating and sex in his life in his history of women ever.
We were supposed to live happily ever after but I know where this all can lead because I have lived it once before with this man and now feel trapped among other things.