Relationships and AddictionWhether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.
I am a newly married bride and am having trouble...
My husband was addicted to porn for the past 10 years or more (says he hasnt watched in months now), we have had numerous fights over it and he knows how i feel about it...
He had his bachelor party before the wedding and hired a stripper on a party bus...he admited to getting up dancing with her, grinding...
I dont know how to feel and i dont know how to get over it...it is consuming me, analyzing the details...
Well you threw two issues in there as a tag team of woe, so you just seem to be piling on and having a wee panic attack.
How is the porn issue now? He says he hasn't watched it months, but you have evidence? Just think he's lying to you?
Dancing including lap dancing isn't really a worry, specially if he's the star of the party. We're not talking about him doing it to someone he has an emotional connection with, or getting blown in the back of the bus right?
Apparently he likes sex though. Make sure he likes it with you. You can do it, put yo' ass into it.
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If you have no reason to think he is lying, and I think he's being truthful based on the fact he told you about his bachelor party, then yes, you are overreacting.
It should not be a surprise that at his OWN bachelor party he danced with a stripper. Personally, Im not a big fan of strippers at those parties but Ive been to enough of them to know it's common and is meaningless.
Another thing to keep in mind is, if you flip out about it and have a fight with him because of it, your only serving to push him away and make him start filtering what information you get from him. THAT is the real risk. Right now he's being honest and while it may not be a treat to know what he did at his bachelor party..atleast you know. And you'll keep knowing things he does as long as you dont overreact to what he tells you.
You should have a talk with your husband about what your boundaries are in terms of him with porn or other women. Tell him that certain things make you feel insecure or disrespected and tell him what those things are. Have a calm conversation about it and ask him what his boundaries are too.
When there is already trust problems, how can anyone not find it a problem with what he did at his party? I don't care if it *was* for him. This is about his marriage and not about what someone acting like a single person wants.
Newly Married
