10-16-2009, 11:57 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Riverside, CA
| | Re: Online chatting
Kayla, it sounds like underneath that anger is a lot of hurt, betrayal, lack of trust, fear, and pain. I am so sorry! Your husband is in the midst of a relatively serious addiction. When men get invovled in sexual addictions, they are seeking to have their emotional needs met through sexual means. You have to know, YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS BEHAVIORS. Even if there are things that you need to improve on in your relationship with him, he is ultimately responsible for his own decisions.
Spouses who are confronted about their addictive behaviors will often get defensive, lie, and then make it out to be as if you are the bad guy in the situation. The truth is, your husband is hurting and is trying to get his needs met through these explicit conversations he is having. It is very sad that he doesn't feel like he can turn to you to have his needs met. When the time is right, approach him calmly and let him know that you are willing to listen to anything he needs to talk to you about. If there comes a point where he opens up to you about this addiction, don't get mad at him, but try and find it in yourself to love him. I would suggest writing your hurt feelings in a journal or diary. Get these feelings out in your journal. You do not have to share this journal with your husband, nor do you need to hide it. It could be very beneficial if he was "snooping" around and read some of your feelings about this situation in your journal.
Again, I am so sorry. Good luck!