Msladyqueen

I'm new to this forum but I just wanted to run this by you guys, maybe someone has an answer. I have been married for two years. My husband has several addictions, (gambling, alcohol,lust) you name he's got it. Recently he was diagnosed with HEP C. and herpes. The health department called our house and luckily I answered or I would have never known. Needless to say, I went to the doctor and thank God my results came back negative. My husband had a follow up with his doctor and during a sonogram of his liver they found abnormalities and a spot. He was told he might have liver cancer, he's 41. We've been through alot, well I have, he's stolen money from me(thousands), lied, committed adultrey you name it. Each time I accepted him back well this time after the diagnosis we got into an argument about his online gambling addiction(he spent his entire paycheck online playing poker) well my husband looked at me and said "I hope I gave you hep c and herpes and I hope you die." I told him calmly no weapon formed against me shall prosper and kindly but firmly told the devil and him to vacate the premises...ASAP. I feel stupid now for accepting him back after all the situations we'd gone through to find out that this man hated me enough to wish death on me. I would never and have never wished death on anyone. Needless to say, he's gone but I sure do feel like I wasted alot of time. I havent heard from him so I don't know what his test results were from his doctor's visit Monday but i do believe divorce is in order. If in fact he does have cancer, I know that he will try to weasle and manipulate me into "helping" him again and I frankly do not want the responsibility. Am i wrong? I feel if I'm not married to him I won't have to bother with his condition. I'm not trying to be mean it's just right before the diagnosis I'd just let him return home I'd left him and moved while he was at work 2 months before. I'm tired.

swedish

You are not wrong. That is quite a laundry list of issues that he appears not to be doing anything to correct. His hurtful words would be the last straw for me, although I don't know that I would have survived in the situation as long as you have.

I don't see this getting better if you stay and don't see him changing anytime soon...I'd say cut your losses and move on...and expect waaaaay more for yourself in future relationships.

swedish

I read somewhere that the 3 A's are valid reasons for divorce:

• adultry
• addiction
• abuse

I think he covered them all.

MarkTwain

This sounds awful and I feel for you. But... this is your first and only post. We only have your side of things. Is the badness all as one sided as you make out?

__________________
MT

Msladyqueen

I know there are 3 sides to every story mine,his and the truth. I'll give an excerpt of an email he sent:

Subject: A fool and his money are soon departed and all that he Love is lost


__________I know this is much too late but I must say this and I hoe in the end that one day you can forgive me for all the wrong that I did to you know that you was the best thing in my life and I treated you like the worst and I'am truly sorry for that. Money was my biggest problem and I put it first in my life and I could never get enough and I did everything to hold on to it lie cheat an still and I still lost it every penny I had and that is what hurts me so bad cause I should have been down with my family like my family was down for me cause no matter what you was always there for me when I was down and I still never gave you your do and for that I will always feel that you deserve better than me I do really love you and care what happens I just thought I loved money more and money has always let me down and I find myself with none every time just a waste and after it's gone I think of the many times I lied to you about money and I ask myself why and my answer is always is the same I'm a very selfish person and I truly don't want to be I want a loving relationship with my wife I want to be that husband that you can be proud of I know I need help and only GOD and help me now I just pray it's not to late I owe you everything I have I made a promise to you and GOD and with the Lords help I'm going to for fill that promise all i ask is that you give me a little time to get my mind heart and soul right and forgive me once again for my shortcomings and continue to pray for me I LOVE YOU and I'm very sorry for all the hurt and pain I have caused you these last five years and I DON'T want a DIVORCE and I will never give you one without a fight and I got GOD on my side so I'm going to win that battle to death do we part I LOVE YOU MRS. ______

Yes this is my first posting because I needed feedback but as you can read above what HE said to me. I understand that a person can only do to you what you allow and i guess that's why I'm not feeling to good about this situation.

movingon

I think your right to get out of it, and if he is sick he will try crawling back. Your situation sounds alot like mine, and you are right, people can only do to you what you will allow. Heres hoping that you and I have the courage to do what needs to be done.