Man....here we go.
I have been a gamer since the early 80's. My parents divorced when I was young and gaming took my mind away to a different place where I felt I had control and also away from the hurt I felt towards that whole divorce situation.
I'm 39 now and I still revert to that place where I feel I have control. That is, until my wife of 12 years told me that she didn't feel like she wanted to be married to me anymore.
Granted, gaming was a huge part of life and took away some of the pressure of my everyday job and normal stresses of life but, clearly to a point where I have neglected my wife and three children.
Gaming is not the only thing I am guilty of for leading my wife to the brink of ending our marriage. I left her to deal with the kids, the expenses, her job, house work, and the list goes on while I simply locked myself away in computer games. When she asked me if something was ok for her to do, I would concede to appease her for the moment, then get disgruntled later for letting her do it. I think that is called lieing.
In short, our communication has been less than stellar and gaming was not helping the situation at all.
Shame on me....
Now, my marriage is very fragile and I am begging for wife to stay. I sat down one night at our dining table and told her to tell me everything that has frustrated her in our marriage. She is not one to make waves and fears retaliation if she speaks up. I reassured her that I was going to keep my mouth shut and just listen.
She let me have it...both barrels. I took it as honest criticism and asked her to give me some time to make changes and show her that I can be that person that she originally married. She was very reluctant at first but, I am staying the course.
She means the world to me. I could not see myself without her or my children. I have since thrown all my games away. I sit at the table and eat dinner..not at the computer. I go on walks with the family, I do housework, I opened a seperate account to handle an equal portion of the bills, I play with the kids, I spend quality time with my wife now.
She's starting to cheer up and hopefully....able to fall in love with me again.
I am resolute to mend my marriage and the gaming path can never be looked upon or tred again.
Im in a similar situation as Dan-O, I am addicted to Warcraft, I use it as an escape for almost everything in life, were I should be helping my family I choose to help myself by fading away into a online world.To the point I simply forget the world around me, the tasks I should be doing. I think I use it to help with possible depression or self esteem issues. Im no expert, but I cannot lose my wife! We have a 13 year old son and been married for 7 years. She is ready to leave me, and if its wasnt for our Son I believe she would have left long ago. I need to be her partner again and plan for the future, I need to take some accountability for the house we built together. Would walking away from the Game help? is there a balance?
I feel like im walking alone and its time for me to act, Normally I would go to my wife for help but at this point she has tried for years and ive just taken the easiest route to have it all go away! This time I mean it, I need to change not just for her but for my self, but of course she has heard me say this before.....