gabejoel

I have wrote several things about this as well...and i had the different guy when we first were together for a couple years and then he decided to go haywire with every viewing option of naked women he could find! It was also every time i left the house, took a shower, went to the store...my god if i blinked...he would take the opportunity! So, when someone lies, cant stop...regardless of how you feel or what it does to your relationship...then yes you can label it an addiction...but i do feel for you because the victim of these kinds of behaviors end up being sicker than the abuser themselves. Good luck to you and dont feel like it is you...because you are a beautiful woman and dont let this take that away from you.

artieb

Forbes worked out that the industry is worth over a billion dollars a year, which means a lot of people are watching. But worse than that, researchers in Montreal wanted to do a study of attitudes about sex among men who did and did not look at porn. The study ran into the problem that they couldn't find any men who hadn't looked at porn.

All men watch porn, scientists find - Telegraph

Sven

Oh wow, don't let Ditajr get into this thread. She'll argue that her husband is the exception (because he's so busy).

__________________
My story: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...roduction.html

Ditajr

Sven...thank you. Actually, my husband and I watch porn together quite often. And, last Thursday I went to the magazine store and picked up US weekly for me, a Disney Princess magazine for the daughter, and a dirty magazine for him as a surprise. Last night, I opened it because it had been laying around for days. He wasn't even interested. Even when I was looking at it and tried to share, he didn't seem interested. There have been plenty of times that I have text him from work to tell him to look at some and to be ready when I get home. Looking at porn isn't the same as playing with yourself.

Ditajr

Maybe he looks it at when I am not at home with him. Which would be awkward since our daughter is there. But even so, if he does, it doesn't bother me. I look at it and it doesn't bother him. You are misunderstanding me.

michzz

True, but what's the point otherwise?

Mrs. Me

Millian I'm sorry you are hurting because of this. I posted something similar under the coping with infidelity thread because i felt maybe it was a type of infidelity, but according to almost everyone on here is it a perfectly normal things for men to do. Which I will just not accept. some couples are fine with it, other women have problems with it, i am one. I'm sorry his actions make you feel that way. I do the exact same things you do, dress up, play, spice it up so i dont understand why men would need to turn to porn. Im sorry i dont have any good advice for you. what i did was set down the law. its me or the porn. thats how much of a problem i have with it because ive seen many good marriages ruined by porn addictions. Its sad that sometimes porn means a lot more to them than their families they could loose cause of it. you have every right to feel hurt and upset. i hope you all can work this out and most of all i hope you stop feeling bad about yourself. its not you, its a problem he has. im sure if they tables were turned he might be a little hurt to find you gettin off to other naked men, fantasizing about them and not him

AlexNY

I have been looking at porn on you-tube for about a month now. I was trying to learn better technique. I have never used it before, and I find it to be repulsive and a complete turn-off.

I did find lots of videos by a British outfit called CherryTV that were designed to be helpful. In the end they were of little worth because each woman would say exactly the opposite of what the woman before said. The result of that failure is why I came to these forums in the first place, to ask for advice. Some very helpful people were very specific and I learned useful things.

I wonder how many of the "addicted" husband everyone is talking about are just trying to learn a thing or two ... since 99% of women have a hang up about telling their men what they want.

Millania007

@Mrs. Me thanks for ur reply, unfort I cnt give my H an ulitmatum like this, I wouldnt want to loose him over his occasional viewing of porn , I am learninig to "deal with it" as long as I get normal sex

@Alex NY-thx for ur response, I am certainly learning how to deal with the issue, I am trying to understand that he may not only be "getting off" but also learning a thing or 2
Things in the bedroom keep getting BETTER and better as the years go by so I truly believe this is due to him "learning" how to become a better lover from the videos he watches while I am not home

AlexNY

Most of what I found that was useful was either intended as such (for example CherryTV) or directed at females (sites that cater to lesbians). The rest was either useless or sometimes even made things worse.

Ditajr

I personally look at it quite often without touching myself during or after. Sometimes I am just bored, sometimes I just want to be in the mood later.

OurJourneyAs1

I know you stated that you can not confront him but if its bothering you that much I think you should. Let him know how this is making you feel. He should understand why and how this has hurt you. I dont think you are overreacting if it's become a problem. All couples deal with this issue different ways. Some dont even consider it a problem. If this is a habit hes not willing to work on for the both of you then I would suggest an ultimatum. But not at first, unless he disreguards your feelings in this matter and blows it off again. Good luck

artieb

Here's a thought: how would you feel if he was watching porn starring you? Would you be willing to make him some videos, or make videos with him?

beef jerky

lisa79..... you are one seriously disturbed wife! Why not either address your concerns like an adult or just call it quits for you, hubby and your families best interests.

marie2009

why doesn't your man delete the computers history?? my boyfriend was looking at tons of naked chicks online and i accidentally stumbled onto it after we moved in together. it really bothered me when i found thousands of naked women in different folders,and now he put them on disks so when he looks at them i won't be able to see who and when he looked. i know he still does it,but what i don't know won't hurt me,hehe. good luck