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Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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Old 04-04-2008, 10:42 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband, internet porn, now what?

major points to him....my ex would not get a vasectomy (he almost fainted when we got blood tests together before we got married) so I did get my tubes tied and have had female problems ever since Just another spin on showing love to one another...the back of the book we read had a quiz that ranked how we felt loved (physical touch, acts of service, words, gifts, etc) so if he ranked something different it creates an opportunity to consciously cater to that...in other words, if you know your husband shows he loves you by acts of service (bringing you a drink, blanket) he would respond very well if you did those types of things for him and vice-versa. As far as sex, I don't think either of you are in the wrong, maybe just have different sex drives which can fluctuate from time to time. My husband and I are both quite active in that area right now, but there are times where the thought of a long drawn out foreplay session etc. just sounds like too much so we mix it up...sometimes just a quickie or one-sided deal. It's probably worth just talking to him about how often he would want it, ideally, and are there times when he does but doesn't have the energy for more than a quickie...maybe someone should invent some underwear like I used to have when I was young with the days of the week, but instead they say 'quickie' 'too darn tired today' 'ready to go all night' 'just please me' 'just please you'...lol i crack myself up...so neither spouse would have to worry about possible rejection if they initiate
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Old 04-04-2008, 11:28 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband, internet porn, now what?

it could also be enlightening to the one wearing 'too darn tired today' all week long.
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Old 04-04-2008, 04:40 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband, internet porn, now what?

Ah...I don't completely agree. Yeah he wasn't getting what he needed at home and the porn filled that need for him, but come on watching porn together to let me know what he wants, my God all I've had to is ask!! And, have you forgot....his porn viewing was a BIG secret..do you really think he's going to be comfortable with me looking too? To be honest, after reading so much on the subject, and finding out how visual men are, our sex has changed, for the better. Thanks for the comment, but not for us.
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