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post #46 of 51 (permalink) Old 07-05-2014, 02:06 PM
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Re: christian, virgin, engaged, nonplussed about sex

OP, I think you are wonderful for having waited this long to save sex for marriage. Your decision will surely grant you many gifts in your marriage. Your future H will be SO, so grateful to you for you giving him the greatest present you could possibly give him. He will be a lucky guy. God must be very proud of you. I wish more than words could describe that I would have saved sex for marriage. I regret it every day of my marriage. Please always stick to your beliefs. You WILL be rewarded in your marriage.

Don't ever listen to people like Lenzi. They are completely misguided and will reap what they sow, which is brokenness and regret. Their husbands will receive leftovers instead of what they deserve.

And I do believe that you felt the way you did because he was not right for you. I'm glad you followed your heart and God and ended the relationship. God will reward you by leading you to Mr. Right with a very fulfilling lifetime marriage.

God bless.

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post #47 of 51 (permalink) Old 07-11-2014, 01:20 PM
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Re: christian, virgin, engaged, nonplussed about sex

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If sex was something soiled and dirty perhaps what you suggest would be reasonable, fortunately since sex is not soiled or dirty, a sexually experienced man or woman is not worthless.
Don't confuse "soiled or dirty" with sacred. Sacred is not a word used very often today. But its more important now than ever. Treating sex as something sacred and life affirming as opposed to the "pump & dump" or "c0ck carousel" lifestyle that is promoted by today's culture is part of the reason for those choosing to wait.

"Merely falling short of your ideals is not hypocrisy, it's humanity. We are all fallen. We are all sinners. We are all carved from the crooked timber of humanity." - Jonah Goldberg
"Fallacies do not cease being fallacies when they become fashions". - G.K. Chesterton
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post #48 of 51 (permalink) Old 07-11-2014, 01:31 PM
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Re: christian, virgin, engaged, nonplussed about sex

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I think religious belief is ridiculous, I consider shoelace tying to be far more useful than such a belief. That said, I don't have a problem with people being religious. As long as it doesn't effect me, I don't care what they believe.
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Oh, you were quoted correctly.

It might be a minority but the number is a heck of a lot greater than one.

More like 1 in 5 and that number is growing as people finally start to figure out that religion is an archaic, outdated concept.
So given these beliefs, why are you two in the Relationships and Spirituality section on TAM? Is it to proselytize your atheistic beliefs? Is it to spread your vast wisdom to those that might not get it anywhere else? Is it to make fun of those silly, superstitious, backwoods hicks?

The OP indicated that she was a Christian and was experiencing a problem. She was trying to deal with it within her moral boundaries and beliefs. You made it perfectly clear that her best option was to essentially sleep around and bag as many men as possible in order for her to find that perfect one. Luckily, I don't think that she will go with that advice.

"Merely falling short of your ideals is not hypocrisy, it's humanity. We are all fallen. We are all sinners. We are all carved from the crooked timber of humanity." - Jonah Goldberg
"Fallacies do not cease being fallacies when they become fashions". - G.K. Chesterton
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post #49 of 51 (permalink) Old 07-13-2014, 09:46 AM
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Re: christian, virgin, engaged, nonplussed about sex

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Although I can't answer for lenzi, I am here because I enjoy participating and contributing where I can.
No offense, but you can't really contribute positively in a section made for people with a view opposite of yours. All you can really do is disagree with them and try to lead them away from their beliefs, which isn't really helpful at all. The only people who should be giving advice in this section are religious/spiritual people, hence the name.

If you are going to give advice, the advice itself shouldn't be against the person's beliefs.
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post #50 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-17-2014, 05:50 PM
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Re: christian, virgin, engaged, nonplussed about sex

The OP originally said she was really sexually attracted to her fiancé for two years but managed to preserver her virginity, and then there was a dark time in the relationship where he criticized her. At that point her feelings changed from attraction to not wanting anything to do with him. Intellectually she could look at him four years into the relationship and say he would make a good husband because he had lots of good qualities going for him. Emotionally, however, she still remembers the dark time and so could feel no emotional or physical attraction towards him. Who knows if at some time in the future he might revert to the dark time behavior; however, the OP’s emotional intelligence tells her to forget him because that is likely to happen. I think she was very wise to preserve her virginity, as sex would have clouded her emotional ability to figure this guy out. Because of this experience, I think the OP is likely to preserve her virginity in future relationships until she gets married. She also has religious reasons to remain virgin. If she dates guys that also are religious, they will understand her belief about virginity.
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post #51 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-18-2014, 05:48 AM
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Re: christian, virgin, engaged, nonplussed about sex

To find another boy friend, you may want to try dating sites. Christiancafe and christianmingle are two highly rated sites.
See Summary of the 2013 Dating Sites Reviews Choice Awards - Dating Sites Reviews
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