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cloud12 05-28-2010 03:07 PM

Addiction and Religion
My husband and I have been married for four years. In the past, before marriage he smoked weed. He has gone through phases of not smoking and then brings it back. I am totally against smoking and have always been that way.
Just recently he is smoking a couple times a week. Whenever I ask him has he done it he lies and says no. I know he has, I'm not stupid. I have asked him to stop but he won't, he sees nothing wrong with it and God put it on the earth so he says its fine.
We don't have kids and I asked if he would stop if we had a family and he said no.
I don't know what to do, that is one of our problems.
The other is he won't attend church with me. He graduated from a Christian college but he for some reason puts God on backburner. He likes the convenient religion.
I'm to the point that I want to leave, I didn't sign up for this, I felt mislead in the marriage and he is everything I didn't want to happen.

cb45 05-28-2010 11:25 PM

Re: Addiction and Religion
hmmmm, basically ignore him 4
time being.

get busy w/ yer own christian lifestyle and tell him u'll pray 4
him, but not condone what he's doing. if u keep busy
and unavailable in most ways(no wat i mean?)then he
should come around, as long as u dont fight w/ him
constantly. be nice but detached.

he should come around but if not give him a time frame
of when u'll leave him, if he doesnt straighten up. make
it a separation, as divorce isnt nec, yet.

if he's not gettin his needs met by u, he's gonna have to
decide betwn u & the weed. i give u the advantage.

;) -------------------------------------------------cb45

Crypsys 05-29-2010 12:45 AM

Re: Addiction and Religion

Originally Posted by cb45 (Post 153117)
[FONT="Fixedsys"][SIZE="3"]hmmmm, if u keep busy
and unavailable in most ways(no wat i mean?)

I sure hope I'm misunderstanding you here CB45. Are you suggesting using withholding sex as a ploy to try and get him to church or do what she wants?

cb45 05-29-2010 11:27 PM

Re: Addiction and Religion
In short, yes i am.

She seems hesitant to leave, but if i am wrong and
she is thinking seriously about leaving over something
like this(minor, compared to abuse, infidelity, selling
narcs etc) then, tatics to both get his attn and show
them how serious/far gone HIS problem is(dual purpose)
, is warranted in this situation, IMO.

i think ladies abuse these tatics on small fry stuff like they
dont like yer attitude or ......or......or.
especially when they dont tell u whats bugging them about
small fry stuff, do i not condone these tatics of lets say
"keep away" in all its forms. for then its not appropriate.

in this case, shes gotta do something right? she doesnt
sound like the type to say to - "break out the 5 languages &
lovebusters etc.

besides the guys gotta be feelin pretty mellow most of the
time if he's weeding as often as she says. So he aint gonna
NOTICE anything else, besides "hmmm, wheres my babe?
wheres my dinner? wheres my TRIM? why aint u talkin to
me anymore B?" etc, etc.

U digg dog?------------peace on earth---------------cb45

cb45 05-29-2010 11:35 PM

Re: Addiction and Religion
the emphasis is to get him BACK to church, and

get him OFF the weed, in order to strengthen their

marriage once more(& grow).

they had important shared values, but the weed

got in the way, it seems, accord to her.

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