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post #31 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 01:11 PM
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Re: Do you hide?

I read your post 2ntnuf......if those things were done TO YOU unbeknownst to you....WOW... that is one story that could make a twisted Hollywood film...and a lesson to be very very careful the sort of people we get entangled with... even a wayward family member can destruct a life - if boundaries are not carefully put to keep them & their rift raft friends out..

You talk about X2 as though she was the light of your life upon meeting...you loved her so much.... but sounds she really got messed up or had one heck of a Mid life crisis during Peri years..that led to so much of what might have taken place here (avoiding giving those details to protect your identity) as I would have deleted that rather quickly myself!@#$%^

Almost sounds like a Conspiracy was done against you....and even if 50% of that is NOT true, none of those people you spoken of.... given what you have shared -deserved to be TRUSTED... so will you have the answers...this proof... I say NOT...

I would ask you this.. what is your Parents, siblings, relatives HEALTH LIKE ? .. this is no proof of course..... but if every genetic relative you come from has no one health issue as you describe coming upon you..it surely seems MORE suspicious to say the least. Now if others have pancreas & liver issues as early as their 50's, even 60's... there could be a genetic link.

Sounds you had full transparency with her at one point, how she was able to share with a family member your password -this in the wrong hands....could destroy someone's character... masquerading as YOU.. ...... Very very Low, dam*ing in fact.... if this was engaged in. Even if this person didn't like you, there is no excuse to further Dirt someone like that.

I do believe such awful things can HAPPEN to people, it's not only in the movies...

We know of a person ...she used to be a friend of ours, husband never cared for her too much... one of the more WILD ones, but I've known her like forever....I don't know how she did this, but so we've heard she got into another friends email account also a BF she was mad at...(he let her stay at his house)....causing a lot of trouble for these people.....(not to the degree of your story) but just such a low down thing to do.

When she was at our house, I was diligent to NEVER share too much personal info with her, due to her character flaws....She ended up getting at me over something that others felt was totally stupid...fixing up a guy friend she had a crush on who wasn't interested in her - with another friend... she felt I betrayed her .....didn't work out anyway... but her hate for me remained.... That's Ok.....Maybe I am even thankful in some ways.

As it always worried me the things she did to others when she gets angry...I think I have been lucky, the most she has done to screw with me is talk behind my back..

This I can live with... for those who know us both...well.. they just know, often telling me what she has said.. I found it even amusing.. in the scheme of life, it didn't hurt me.. but the things YOU are discussing... Oh my...

How do you forgive a meditated Betrayal LIKE THAT ?? I don't even know!

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post #32 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 01:30 PM
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Re: Do you hide?

Thank you, by the way, for trying.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #33 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you hide?

That is awful, 2ntnuf. That is abuse. No one deserves to be treated that way. Again, that is just awful.

I am so sorry. No wonder you have trouble putting things out of your mind.

Do you have a support system outside of TAM? TAM is great, but we all need IRL support, too.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #34 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 02:44 PM
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Re: Do you hide?

No. TAM is my support group. I get better, and more thoughtful and meaningful support from TAM members. I guess you haven't seen my NYE thread where I've stated I love my closest TAM friends.

By the way, the smoke I readily admit being addicted to is tobacco(nicotine), nothing else.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #35 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 03:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you hide?

I'm so sorry, 2ntnuf. I think it is great you have close friends here. It really is a community. Sometimes we are just grateful for what we have. And TAM gives us much to be grateful for.

Has anything worked for quitting smoking?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #36 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 11:15 PM
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Re: Do you hide?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jld View Post
I'm so sorry, 2ntnuf. I think it is great you have close friends here. It really is a community. Sometimes we are just grateful for what we have. And TAM gives us much to be grateful for.

Has anything worked for quitting smoking?
Once I get a little hope in my life, I will most likely be able to muster the strength to quit. That's the first step to all improvement. I just don't have that anymore. I live from day to day. I don't plan or do anything. I really am a sad case. It's ruined the man in me, and I really cannot find a good enough reason to bring him back. I keep going to bed and waking up in the morning. There must be a reason I'm still doing that. I don't, yet, know what it is, though.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #37 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 07:23 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you hide?

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Originally Posted by 2ntnuf View Post
Once I get a little hope in my life, I will most likely be able to muster the strength to quit. That's the first step to all improvement. I just don't have that anymore. I live from day to day. I don't plan or do anything. I really am a sad case. It's ruined the man in me, and I really cannot find a good enough reason to bring him back. I keep going to bed and waking up in the morning. There must be a reason I'm still doing that. I don't, yet, know what it is, though.
What do you think could give you hope, 2ntnuf?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #38 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 07:54 AM
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Re: Do you hide?

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What do you think could give you hope, 2ntnuf?
I don't know. All my dreams are gone.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #39 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 05:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you hide?

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I don't know. All my dreams are gone.
All your dreams are gone?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #40 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 08:54 PM
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Re: Do you hide?

I never had big dreams. I never thought I'd be living in a $450,000.00 house on ten acres in the county or anything like that. I just wanted some average, middle class life. That's done. I wanted a wife and companion. I wanted to love and be loved. I wanted to make our dreams together. Decide together what we wanted to work toward, and do it together. That's all I ever wanted.

Partly the reason I don't know what I'd like is because I have never had a thing. I only had a few things when I was married to x2. I never dreamed of actually being able to have the little bit that we had together. That's gone, too.

Those dreams are all fantasies. I have no fantasies about what might happen. They are dead, too.


"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #41 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 09:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you hide?

You feel like you never had many things. And you really just wanted simple things, like a companion, someone to work with and for in life. Is that it?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #42 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 10:14 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you hide?

You just feel like you wouldn't make it anywhere else? You just don't think you can leave?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #43 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 11:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you hide?

I think you would like more for yourself, 2ntnuf.

I think all the writing you have done here is wonderful. You are letting things out and thinking them through. You are also letting others see your situation and giving them a chance to help you.

Are you familiar with the NMMNG forum? It is a board of just men. It would be very good for you to check it out, because those guys really support each other. They really have each other's back.

You need someone to have your back, 2ntnuf. You need to feel that you are not alone, and that your life is not over.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #44 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-09-2014, 11:45 AM
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Re: Do you hide?

I further submit that I believe many of the women who are divorced after the age of fifty, have either been unfaithful due to peri, or they have something which makes them as unattractive as I am. Their and my attractiveness would then defer to the amount of social status and income potential we have. That being said, how the hell does a man with my thoughts surrounding sex and a real committed relationship afford any opportunity to be happy?

I just don't see it. I think it's impossible for me to find true happiness and joy. It's a myth, at this point.

Do you see the dilemma that I face? I have been trained to believe in marriage and commitment in a world where they are meaningless, in and of themselves. If I want to change and believe it is up to me to make the money for things I want for myself, why would I want to share that with any one person? Why wouldn't I want to keep it for myself and portion it out to those I deem worthy? I would then be the same as those I do not hold in high regard. I think the wealth comes from a concerted effort of two committed partners, over a long period of time. I don't have that long period of time any more. Thank you, POSOM, and dirt bag x.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #45 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-09-2014, 01:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you hide?

The guys on NMMNG have been hurt, some like you. They understand your pain, and they can be your friends, too, just like the folks here.

It's just another outlet, 2ntnuf. Another resource. And I am not saying buck up. I think you have the right to feel whatever you feel.

And I think you are very brave to share your feelings here.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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