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post #46 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-28-2014, 09:01 PM
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Re: Do you hide?

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That post is so beautiful, SA. It's right up there with the Jesus post you did yesterday. You are really reading the right books!

I was surprised this thread did not get more responses. I cannot be the only person out there dealing with guilt and shame. And honestly, the advice you have given me is so healing. I really cannot thank you enough.

I hope your posts give other people the guidance and comfort they have given me.
Jld:

Brene Browns books are so helpful. I devoured them started with a Daring Greatly. I saw her TED talk and she's so relatable and makes a subject we want to avoid normal. She's a great speaker and writer IMO.

I think if we are honest we all "hide" in one way or another. There are days I go out with sunglasses even if it's hazy, and dress in black. Then I'm always kind of shocked when I see someone I know because I'm wearing my shades, and my invisible clothing. It's silly but I do it on days when I want to be invisible.

You aren't the only person dealing with guilt and shame you are brave enough to put it out there.

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post #47 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-29-2014, 05:01 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you hide?

Thanks, kristin. I have a sensitive conscience. Sometimes it feels like a burden, but I think I would be insufferably selfish without it.

Was there something Brene Brown said in particular that you have found helpful?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #48 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-29-2014, 07:03 AM
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Re: Do you hide?

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Originally Posted by jld View Post
Thanks, kristin. I have a sensitive conscience. Sometimes it feels like a burden, but I think I would be insufferably selfish without it.

Was there something Brene Brown said in particular that you have found helpful?

I have a few of her quotes written down.

"In the absence of love & belonging there will always be suffering."

On sharing shame = showing vulnerability. Shame can't exist under the light of empathy.

Connection: the energy created between people when they feel seen heard and valued. When they can give and receive without judgement.

Those are a few that meant something to me. Her books are really easy to read and very helpful for me. She also gives a caveat (the warning was posted above ) about WHO you share your shame with. Making sure that person will be there for you not make it worse . That was a big lesson for me. My H is much more gilt/shame driven. I thought I was reading to "get" him but they helped me a lot.

Last edited by kristin2349; 01-29-2014 at 07:08 AM.
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post #49 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-29-2014, 09:10 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you hide?

Wow, those are powerful, kristin. Thanks for sharing.

And I better get reading her books!

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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