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post #76 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-07-2014, 10:30 PM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

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Originally Posted by Machiavelli View Post
It remains to be seen whether or not the SIL intends to relocate the OP into SIL's husband's harem. Covetousness is an intent to steal.



I don't approve of "homosexuality" as defined by the German homosexual who invented the term back in the 1800's. His homosexuality doesn't include women. He wanted the word to be a replacement for "sodomite" in a pamphlet he wrote advocating repeal of paragraph 143 of the German Penal Code which stated:

Unnatural fornication, whether between persons of the male sex or of humans with beasts, is punished with imprisonment of six months to four years, with the further punishment of a prompt loss of civil rights.

That above is right out of Leviticus, but with lighter punishment. Notice only male "homosexuality" is proscribed, as in the Bible.



I agree that promises must be kept, but we don't know what vows were used or said. These days, people write their own. I hear some people even take out "obey." So, it may or may not violate their vows, depending on what those vows were.



According to the tale, it was not premeditated, so she could not obtain permission. Verily, it is written: "it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask for permission."


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post #77 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-08-2014, 01:52 AM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

Lovable Resin Title of thread “Am I a sinner?”


LR, since you have stated that you are of the Christian faith I will give you the Christian faith scriptures below. I am giving you three versions; The NIV was formulated over many years by the theologians through out the whole world. The New Living is by the modern theologians and the King James is the oldest English Bible that was mass produced

Romans 1
New International Version (NIV)
26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.



Romans 1 (New Living Translation)
26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.



Romans 1 (King James Version)
26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.



LR, you can read for yourself the above verses and in the end you will be the one that will determine if your activity with your SIL is a sin or not.


If you are like many Christians the Bible has more authority than other authorities on the issue of sin. “Am I a sinner” is the title of your thread and since your are a Christian I would think that those that are trying to reduce the importance of the Bible or your Christian faith would have respect for your chosen faith.



LR, your Christian Bible has a lot more scriptures on redemption and forgiveness than women to women sex. In fact the Bible‘s main theme is reconciliation back to God because we are all sinners. There is a ton of hope for your situation in your Christian faith!
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post #78 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-11-2014, 12:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Am I a sinner?

Hello all and thanks for the answers. I am sorry I have not been able to post for awhile. I still have not told my husband or anyone as I am afraid what will happen if I do. I really do not know what to do. As my own family is several states away my husband's sister is the person I usually talk to and she is also my best friend but it has been awkward at best between us since the incident. I will try to answer some of the questions asked.

I have been married to my husband almost eight years and we have a seven year old daughter together. This is his second marriage and he has a 18 year old daughter from his previous marriage who lives with us. I am 26 and my husband is 39.

The back story I mentioned is basically that me and my sister in law have known each other since kids and she is two years older than me. We are very comfortable around each other and we have slept in the same bed and cuddled before and it has not been a problem for us. I can see now when I look at her that something has changed which is why it is so awkward.

I really don't know how my husband will react if I tell him. He does have a little short fuse and gets angry easily. He has sometimes pushed me around when he is mad about something.
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post #79 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-11-2014, 01:33 PM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

How about a secular counselor? Even someone at a shelter could talk with you.

I am really glad you have not told him considering he has a history of hitting you.

Again, please seek counseling.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #80 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-11-2014, 03:24 PM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

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How about a secular counselor? Even someone at a shelter could talk with you.

I am really glad you have not told him considering he has a history of hitting you.

Again, please seek counseling.
First, I want to say that abuse in any form is not ok. But, I do want to say that there is a difference between PUSHING someone and HITTING. I do agree with jld that it's better to talk to a counselor about what happened. Truthfully, you and your SIL need to stop ignoring it because sooner or later, one of your husbands, if not both, will pick up on something and it will make the situation that much worse. I won't suggest a secular counselor, but a Christian one instead. I'm not saying pick one from your own church, obviously, but possibly one from a different denomination. But that's just my opinion.

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
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post #81 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-11-2014, 07:43 PM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

I don't recommend a Christian counselor at ALL!!!!!

Women's issues are not taken seriously at the "training" Christian counselors are given. Secondly, if your husband is a "Christian" why the hell is he pushing you around? So how's that Christianity working out for you two?

Lesbian affairs and domestic abuse...totally Chrisitan!

Find a secular counselor or call a women's shelter and seek counseling. Do this as soon as possible so you get expert help expertly trained.
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post #82 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-11-2014, 07:50 PM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

If you aren't a sinner, you're something other than human.
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post #83 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-11-2014, 08:18 PM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

Sigh... AP, there is nothing wrong with a CHRISTIAN woman seeking counseling from a TRAINED, and LICENSED CHRISTIAN counselor. Again, I suggest seeking out a CHRISTIAN counselor because LR, herself is a CHRISTIAN.

BTW, even we Christians do stupid things. Doesn't make it right, but, we are, like everyone else, HUMAN. I suggest NOT seeing a secular counselor because they are more likely to say it's perfectly normal.

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
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post #84 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-11-2014, 08:47 PM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

I happen to be familiar with the various training requirements.

So


Sigh.... Don't see a Christian counselor if you want real help!
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post #85 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-11-2014, 10:36 PM
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Totally disagree AP. Licensed Christian counselors have to get the same education. The difference? The Christian counselor has a godly, rather than a worldly perspective. LR said she is a Christian. She should see a licensed Christian counselor.

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post #86 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-11-2014, 10:53 PM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

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Totally disagree AP. Licensed Christian counselors have to get the same education. The difference? The Christian counselor has a godly, rather than a worldly perspective. LR said she is a Christian. She should see a licensed Christian counselor.

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No they don't. They're undergrad requirements are very different.
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post #87 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-12-2014, 01:45 AM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

The title of LR’s thread is “AM I A SINNER"
LR has stated that she is a Christian
Christian’s value the Bible in dealing with sin


LR, I also think you should see a qualified Christen Counselor even though AP has judged them all as not taking women issues seriously. One of your main concerns is about sin as a Christian.

AP does not know all Christian counselors and to make such a sweeping judgment seems Like judging all without all the facts. I doubt that AP has knowledge of ALL Christian Counselors.
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post #88 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-12-2014, 05:21 AM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

Exactly, Mr. Blunt. Even Christian counselors go to secular universities and get the same training as the secular counselors. They offer the Christian perspective, which is beneficial to a Christian.

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
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post #89 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-12-2014, 01:04 PM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

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No they don't. They're undergrad requirements are very different.
It depends if it's just through a church or through a private or state practice.

Some congregations will put a volunteer through a class or two, to help counsel, which sometimes can be enough OR not.

There are Phycologists/Psychotherapists/Counselors that are also Christians.
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post #90 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-12-2014, 01:12 PM
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Re: Am I a sinner?

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In my experience I have found that Christian counsellors are able to justify sweeping things under the rug by using the Bible to influence their advice.

As a teenager I saw a number of Christian counsellors about the abuse I was dealing with at home. I was repeatedly told to 'Honour thy father and mother'. The physical abuse was dismissed as my parent's loving me by chastising me. I was lectured on obedience. When I went to the police they refused to testify and influenced witnesses not to testify as it was against the Bible and I was defying my parents. My dad got 14 years and I am thankful religion has no place in the legal system here or I'd have probably ended up with 40 lashes and sent back to be raped by him for a few more years.

Go to someone secular for counselling and your priest/minister for spiritual advice.

I am so sorry to hear that.. My heart is broken for you... Those counselors were very, very wrong. They misinterpreted Scripture. They were very, very evil and will be judged by God, they contributed to your pain and wronged you in the worst way.

I hope you can still have a relationship with Christ despite what happened with those people. I am a Christian and know first hand how some leaders can skew the Bible. Some of the meanest people I have known were Christians in my own church.

Prayers and thoughts to you for a completely healed heart...
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