Dating After Divorce. I'm the Betrayed Spouse W/Lots of Questions. - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 02:30 PM
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Re: Dating After Divorce. I'm the Betrayed Spouse W/Lots of Questions.

Matthew 19:11 might be your answer to the discussion about Paul saying you might forego the pleasures of the flesh (paraphrasing what was said above). Jesus said not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it is given. If it hasn't been revealed to you, this passage gives you a pass, so to speak.

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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 03:09 PM
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Re: Dating After Divorce. I'm the Betrayed Spouse W/Lots of Questions.

I am an atheist so take my opinion for what you will. There is nothing that prevents a Christian or anyone else from living by the golden rule. The Bible may have many passages that refer to polygamy, but instead of trying to wade through scripture, just ask yourself would you want to marry or date a woman who was in sexual relationships with other men. Probably not, at least you would expect her to break it off others if you were going to be her SO. Likewise, you could offer the same to her. Nothing in the Bible would prohibit application of this simple principle.

The Bible is full of passages that are not really relevant:

"And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.
Matthew 19:9 ESV

But does that mean you cannot date woman who divorced her husband for abuse and cruelty?

The Old Testament is nothing to go by since no fault divorce doesn't allow stoning:

Quote:
The Hebrew Bible (the Tanakh or Old Testament) prohibits adultery in the seventh of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12) (sixth Commandments in Christian enumeration and in verse Exodus 20:14). Adultery in traditional Judaism applies unequally to both parties.

For instance, the Old Testament book of Leviticus prescribes capital punishment for adultery between a man and married woman, though not for adultery between a woman and a married man.

And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. (Lev. 20:10).

Furthermore, Deuteronomic code prescribes stoning not only for female extramarital sex, but also for female premarital sex in the case where the woman lies about her virginity.

If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and say, / I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid. / But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: / Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die. (Deut. 22:13-21).

It also prescribes the same for engaged women who lie with another man, under the premise that if she allows the action without protesting, this indicates willingness.

If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; / Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city. (Deut. 22:23-24).
Source: Wikipedia

Could you accept dating and having sex with intent of marrying is you turned out to be compatible? It would seem that not having sex might be a deal killer for many women, even Christians. They will want to test drive before living together or marrying.
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 04:17 PM
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Re: Dating After Divorce. I'm the Betrayed Spouse W/Lots of Questions.

I think we're getting a little off in the woods here. OP isn't looking for a harem, he just wants to know if he can date again.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 04:53 PM
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Re: Dating After Divorce. I'm the Betrayed Spouse W/Lots of Questions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Machiavelli View Post
To become "one flesh" means to copulate.


You don't have a very intimate connected M, do you Mach?

Becoming "one flesh" is about way more than sex. Being one man and one woman naked and unashamed with unblemished intimacy with God and one another was the way it was BEFORE the forbidden fruit was consumed. Jesus and Paul hark back- not to the Mosaic law- but to the GARDEN in their statements in Matt 19:5, Mark 10:7-8; 1 Cor 6:16; Eph 5:31 NKJV - Therefore a man shall leave his father - Bible Gateway
And "wife" is singular, not plural.

Be careful of Mach's advice, notdone. He is an advocate of the sixteen commandments by heartiste (the link is banned per moderator French Fry but look them up and see for yourself)

Last edited by Blonde; 04-02-2014 at 05:04 PM.
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 04-03-2014, 12:17 AM
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Re: Dating After Divorce. I'm the Betrayed Spouse W/Lots of Questions.

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You don't have a very intimate connected M, do you Mach?
actually, I do. Copulation releases bonding chemicals leading to an emotional connection stronger than what existed before.

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Becoming "one flesh" is about way more than sex.
But the Bible never makes that claim anywhere. It is what it is: the beast with two backs. That's why it's "one flesh" and not "one spirit". That's why Paul can use that term when discussing physical union with Venusian prostitutes and how the externals physical connection between the "temples," as it were, is unseemly.

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Originally Posted by Blonde View Post
Being one man and one woman naked and unashamed with unblemished intimacy with God and one another was the way it was BEFORE the forbidden fruit was consumed.
That was before The Fall, and The Fall is profound. As the book says, "all creation trembled." You can't go back to how it was and run around naked all the time, because things fundamentally changed in how men, women, and God interact.

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Originally Posted by Blonde View Post
Jesus and Paul hark back- not to the Mosaic law- but to the GARDEN in their statements in Matt 19:5, Mark 10:7-8; 1 Cor 6:16; Eph 5:31 NKJV - Therefore a man shall leave his father - Bible Gateway
And "wife" is singular, not plural.
If I say, I'm going to drive my car (singular), how many cars do I own?

Remember, anyone, including Jesus and Paul, who cites Genesis is citing Moses, since he was the messenger for the Five Books of Moses (Pentateuch). Even Augustine admitted monogamy was merely a Roman custom they'd picked up from the pagan Greeks.

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Be careful of Mach's advice, notdone. He is an advocate of the sixteen commandments by heartiste (the link is banned per moderator French Fry but look them up and see for yourself)
Yes, I am and I agree that the OP can learn something there. Notdone, here are a couple of links I can put up here that might serve you well also. Although they still cling to Roman marriage customs for the most part, they have a lot of value for Christian men IMHO.

Dalrock

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Last edited by Machiavelli; 04-03-2014 at 09:22 AM.
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