JimE

Last year I discovered my wife is separating, the night before, since she had already packed the clothes of our eldest (of 3).

I was sooooo shocked! Told myself...just breathe!!

Since then I've started to uncover a web of lies and deceit...perhaps only the tip of the iceberg to-date. She went around for years telling her family, friends from church etc. all kinds of stories about our marriage...that I was controlling, manipulative, and even abusive! She is definitely an attention / sympathy seeker! Seems she felt it necessary to be justified in others' eyes for leaving.

Only recently have I come to realize that for 15 years almost I was married to a sociopath.

I am very hurt, trying to process it all...we are now divorced. Meanwhile she launched into another relationship, having a guy she hardly knows sleep over - with our kids around. They are 12, 10 & 7 and really disgusted at it.

DanF

If the only issue is the kids and the new guy, take her back to court for custody.

gfl

your already divorced its a shame she didnt try to work with you at all before...its hard to beleive you had no idea or she is just 100% on tilt ...if thats the case then its probably best ...even though iam a frim beleiver in doing everything you can to make it work ...so sorry ...get some ground rules with her but really after a year she can probably do most anything within reason...

kristinlloyd

It seems you can't do anything about the divorce or the past - because its in the past, but what you can do is to protect your children. I agree with DanF - the issue is that the new guy is sleeping over with your kids in the house. It just doesn't seem appropriate, regardless of her past behavior or whatever she has said about you -that's hearsay. If you can prove that this guy has slept over while the kids are there, that is something you can object to in court. Best of luck to you and hopefully the kids won't be too traumatized by all this and hopefully she is not badmouthing you to the kids. They are not at fault and while you are hurting by all this, their safety should be the focus (it seems like it is your focus). I hope it all works out for you and the kids are okay.
Stay strong and hopefully the shock and pain will go away - just takes time.

LGSL

Aww...hugs. Stay strong.