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post #31 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-30-2014, 10:19 AM Thread Starter
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Re: confession

i was triggering last night when i wrote that. but, after i wrote it, i felt fine. i was immediately able to focus on everything else and let the feelings of guilt evaporate.

thats the first time i was able to really stop it. i went from triggering to feeling fine in about ten minutes...


"The ecologist is continually having to look at the aspects of nature with which he is unfamiliar and perforce must be an amateur for much of his working time.... professionals may carp at omissions, misconstructions, or even downright errors in these pages. perhaps ultimately they may forgive them for the sake of the overall vision that only the amateur, or the ecologist, blithely sets out to experience."G. Evelyn Hutchinson
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post #32 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-30-2014, 10:53 AM
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Re: confession

So just getting it out, as openly and honestly as you could, was healing?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #33 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-30-2014, 11:52 AM Thread Starter
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Re: confession

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So just getting it out, as openly and honestly as you could, was healing?
yeah.

"The ecologist is continually having to look at the aspects of nature with which he is unfamiliar and perforce must be an amateur for much of his working time.... professionals may carp at omissions, misconstructions, or even downright errors in these pages. perhaps ultimately they may forgive them for the sake of the overall vision that only the amateur, or the ecologist, blithely sets out to experience."G. Evelyn Hutchinson
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post #34 of 41 (permalink) Old 05-01-2014, 09:52 PM
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Re: confession

isn't it amazing how therapeutic writing things out can be? I agree, this is a great idea for a thread As'laDain.

I feel like the things that I am most passionate about are the things I have least in common with people. I love discussion, and my closest friends do too, so that is good. But tangible things like my dogs, with whom I put a lot of time into, I seem to not have in common with people I meet. Not that there aren't dog lovers out there, I just don't seem to find them easily! Even my closest friends aren't dog owners, not a one! And most people that I meet through my husband's work, or my own, connect with other people by talking about their children. And here I am without human children as of yet, but I could talk up a storm about my dogs just as much as people can talk about their kids. No joke! So I have nothing to contribute to these types of conversations when it turns to kids and they start planning their playdates etc. I feel very left out as a non-mother at my age.
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post #35 of 41 (permalink) Old 05-10-2014, 10:03 AM
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Re: confession

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i was thinking about something... i don't go to a regular church. my church lately is my friends, family, and coworkers.

i tell them of my struggles, my transgressions, and my joys. right now i am at a point in my life where i really cant enjoy close friendships through a local church. i move too much. ill have just enough time to get to know them, and then i will move to another part of the country. so, i don't go to church, but i still find that i need to tell people when i mess up from time to time.

im in the army, and lately, that has been my platoon sergeant and other senior NCOs. when i feel like i mess up, i tell them. they hold me accountable, and i move past it with their guidance. i find this form of confession far more useful and productive than just telling a man of faith my sins. this way, i am held accountable, and i actually grow. im forced to face it.

its scary as hell.


anyway, i was thinking, and i want to introduce this idea to others. so, this is my first attempt in that.

got something on your mind? did something you're ashamed of? post it here and follow advice of the TAM community. generally speaking, i find TAM to be pretty spot on when it comes to what needs to be done.
I have a problem with admitting the truth too much. It gets me in troubles, confrontations, rejections, etc.

The problem for myself with that is when I am truthful it never seems to aid me in the guidance department. So much judgment and humility gets pushed on me that I almost hate now to even share anything with anyone. That is why I like to share here. It is so aggravating to be honest with yourself, being raised that honesty overcomes. Inevitably, I have never seen it first hand that it is dealt with in an appropriate manner. Very frustrating. I don't believe people are as kind as they act like they are anymore. Its a shame really. Which brings me to feel like the word LOVE is tossed around. It would have to be unconditional to accept someones truth rather than to bash them to bash them for it.
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post #36 of 41 (permalink) Old 05-11-2014, 07:55 AM
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Re: confession

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@jld

I just searched "Woodstock dressing". It sounds delicious!
It is, intheory . . . and addictive!

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #37 of 41 (permalink) Old 05-14-2014, 03:26 AM
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Re: confession

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i was thinking about something... i don't go to a regular church. my church lately is my friends, family, and coworkers.
Right off that back, you lost me. Although I agree that Godly friends are important, we should never forsake the asembling together of the saints (Hebrews 10:25). I can't explain it enough through trial and error, that you have got to be planted in a church! There is a dynamic that takes place when you are in a church-like structure with worship, prayer, sermon, communion, encouragement, confession, etc. In fact, something that was just placed on my heart to ask you, "When was the last time you took communion?" No, I am not Catholic at all, but there is just something about going to a church and be planted in and apart of the body, rather than isolating yourself or forsaking the asembling together of the saints.
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post #38 of 41 (permalink) Old 05-14-2014, 10:41 AM Thread Starter
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Re: confession

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Right off that back, you lost me. Although I agree that Godly friends are important, we should never forsake the asembling together of the saints (Hebrews 10:25). I can't explain it enough through trial and error, that you have got to be planted in a church! There is a dynamic that takes place when you are in a church-like structure with worship, prayer, sermon, communion, encouragement, confession, etc. In fact, something that was just placed on my heart to ask you, "When was the last time you took communion?" No, I am not Catholic at all, but there is just something about going to a church and be planted in and apart of the body, rather than isolating yourself or forsaking the asembling together of the saints.
i remember Hebrews... but it doesnt say anything about going into a specific building where people dress up in clothes that they would rarely otherwise wear and act in a way that they would rarely otherwise act and read from a book that they would never otherwise read from.

i think Hebrews 10:25 is best reflected in Matthew 18:19

"The ecologist is continually having to look at the aspects of nature with which he is unfamiliar and perforce must be an amateur for much of his working time.... professionals may carp at omissions, misconstructions, or even downright errors in these pages. perhaps ultimately they may forgive them for the sake of the overall vision that only the amateur, or the ecologist, blithely sets out to experience."G. Evelyn Hutchinson
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post #39 of 41 (permalink) Old 05-14-2014, 02:56 PM
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Re: confession

Oh no, I am not refuting hanging out with those of like-mindedness, but I caution anyone who says that they do not need to go to church and fellowship with the saints thereof in the context of the structure that God has established.

Yes, I understand that the original church met in a home, with the Apostle Peter, but oh my, how we have evolved from those times, because America does not have to live in fear with meeting in a building or in homes any more to carry out church.

And I don't put down if a bunch of believing friends get together and have a church-like service in a home or other building of some sort (i.e. high school, dormitory, etc.). But, I do believe that a church service should be constructed as is outlined in 1 & 2 Timothy, Titus; which are known as the pastoral epistles. These books were not by chance placed in the Bible. They create a structure with how a church should be done.

The problem comes when individuals have been burned by a certain church or church group and now they isolate themselves from ever attending a "formal" church setting, solely based upon 1-2 bad church experiences. Because you found a church or two or three, doesn't mean you give up on church! It just means you keep searching for a church that you feel God would have you at. When my family moved to Los Angeles, we search many churches and we found it very difficult to find a church that we fit in, that taught the Word of God Biblically, that was not into strange fire or strange winds of doctrine, that was not into religiosity or Pharasitical attitudes, and above all else, was not seeker friendly. It took us a year, but we found a nice small Calvary Chapel church.

But hey, I have isolated myself in times past, thinking I did not need church, that I could handle life on my own...and I failed miserably. This is where satan wants to dilute someone to think that they can handle their spiritual life alone and have a person do church how they desire it. This could not be further from the truth. I have had many of friends that have gotten fed up with church and have decided to play church at home with their family or in a small group setting and I have seen some pretty funky stuff happen. Let us not forgot what happen at WACO, or with Heaven's Gates, Jimmy Jones, and many others that try to create an environment that rejected church structure to do it on their own, by their own governing rules, and what they deem what church should look like.

If you can have a church service in the comfort of your own home with a group of how ever many people come, than make sure that you follow what God would have you do. Make sure there is worship, a message, maybe the exercising of the gifts (if you believe in that), a time of communion, the giving of tithes, a ministry to the poor, a ministry to the orphan, a ministry to the widow, etc. etc. etc.

But make no mistake about it, I have never seen any brother or sister excel in the Lord when they isolate themselves from the church body or try to play church at home or someone else's home. One of two things usually happens...1) They get into very strange doctrine and practices, 2) They end up backslidding, little by little.
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post #40 of 41 (permalink) Old 05-14-2014, 04:27 PM Thread Starter
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Re: confession

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Originally Posted by forevermemorable View Post
Oh no, I am not refuting hanging out with those of like-mindedness, but I caution anyone who says that they do not need to go to church and fellowship with the saints thereof in the context of the structure that God has established.

Yes, I understand that the original church met in a home, with the Apostle Peter, but oh my, how we have evolved from those times, because America does not have to live in fear with meeting in a building or in homes any more to carry out church.

And I don't put down if a bunch of believing friends get together and have a church-like service in a home or other building of some sort (i.e. high school, dormitory, etc.). But, I do believe that a church service should be constructed as is outlined in 1 & 2 Timothy, Titus; which are known as the pastoral epistles. These books were not by chance placed in the Bible. They create a structure with how a church should be done.

The problem comes when individuals have been burned by a certain church or church group and now they isolate themselves from ever attending a "formal" church setting, solely based upon 1-2 bad church experiences. Because you found a church or two or three, doesn't mean you give up on church! It just means you keep searching for a church that you feel God would have you at. When my family moved to Los Angeles, we search many churches and we found it very difficult to find a church that we fit in, that taught the Word of God Biblically, that was not into strange fire or strange winds of doctrine, that was not into religiosity or Pharasitical attitudes, and above all else, was not seeker friendly. It took us a year, but we found a nice small Calvary Chapel church.

But hey, I have isolated myself in times past, thinking I did not need church, that I could handle life on my own...and I failed miserably. This is where satan wants to dilute someone to think that they can handle their spiritual life alone and have a person do church how they desire it. This could not be further from the truth. I have had many of friends that have gotten fed up with church and have decided to play church at home with their family or in a small group setting and I have seen some pretty funky stuff happen. Let us not forgot what happen at WACO, or with Heaven's Gates, Jimmy Jones, and many others that try to create an environment that rejected church structure to do it on their own, by their own governing rules, and what they deem what church should look like.

If you can have a church service in the comfort of your own home with a group of how ever many people come, than make sure that you follow what God would have you do. Make sure there is worship, a message, maybe the exercising of the gifts (if you believe in that), a time of communion, the giving of tithes, a ministry to the poor, a ministry to the orphan, a ministry to the widow, etc. etc. etc.

But make no mistake about it, I have never seen any brother or sister excel in the Lord when they isolate themselves from the church body or try to play church at home or someone else's home. One of two things usually happens...1) They get into very strange doctrine and practices, 2) They end up backslidding, little by little.
i should probably clarify that i cannot attend any one particular church for very long because i bounce around the country/world every couple of years.

truth is, i have visited hundreds of churches, i just dont stick to any particular one anymore. im a far way from home.

i never said i dont go to church, i said that church for me has become those who i see on a daily basis.
im three thousand miles away from my pastor. i think the Lord will forgive me if i dont feel the need to stick to one place with one set of people.

besides, i find a lot of structured ministries ineffective. for instance, ministry to the poor. its easy to just go out and hand a pamphlet to them, or give them a loaf a bread, but people rarely get to know them.

i remember going out and talking to people in south beach miami once... there was a group of us. one of the guys with us went right into a strip club, got drunk with a few of the patrons, and pointed them to our church. lo and behold, they showed up the next weekend.

another time, i remember one guy who was drunk on the street, covered in tattoos. he was pretty darned angry, cussing up a storm. after chatting with him a while and taking a few shots of his whiskey, he told me about his daughter who just died from leukemia a couple weeks before. he kept asking how God could do this to his little girl. i didnt have an answer for him. i just knew he was hurting. here i was trying to reach out to him and i had no idea what i could say to help him. i ended up just asking him what he is going to do. he told me he wanted to go into the missionary field to get away from home, so i put him in touch with one of the missionary goups i met in georgia. they specialize in helping people recover from that kinda trauma.

couple years later i happened on some pocket bibles from a church that folded and decided to go see if i could find someone to give some to. i met a homeless guy who just seemed to have lost all hope for any sort of humanity. he was pretty funny though, in a crude way. i asked him about the local night clubs, which ones seem the busiest, which ones have the best reputations. then i asked him if he would like to go to those places and pray with me. its not like i had the guts to go do it by myself at the time, why not ask him to go with me? he didnt seem to have anything better to do... he insisted that he needed a bible to pray, and he couldn't go because he didnt have one. he wouldnt take one of the shiny new pocket bibles i had(gotta love the Gideons), so i ended up giving him my personal bible that i carried around everywhere. when i came back a couple years later, he was still at it, going from place to place, praying for people. he had a purpose and he loved showing it.


something strange happens when you go to normal public places and express the joy that you get from praising God. try it sometime. get a guitar and sing a praise song, like you MEAN it. people get incredibly curious.


there are hundreds of stories i could tell like this, but i never experienced ANY of this stuff when i was sitting in a church pew. so, yeah, ill go to church when i can, but church is not where i usually see God work. its every where else, its where the dangers are. i just get too bored if im "safe".


"The ecologist is continually having to look at the aspects of nature with which he is unfamiliar and perforce must be an amateur for much of his working time.... professionals may carp at omissions, misconstructions, or even downright errors in these pages. perhaps ultimately they may forgive them for the sake of the overall vision that only the amateur, or the ecologist, blithely sets out to experience."G. Evelyn Hutchinson
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post #41 of 41 (permalink) Old 05-14-2014, 04:36 PM
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Re: confession

Hey great! The Lord does work differently through different individuals. You can be an exception to the general rule. What I see in the Big city, is there are a lot of people that sit home throughout the week and do nothing (no church attendance, no ministry, etc.).

You are in a place in which God uses you, because you allow yourself to be used by Him...praise God for that. Me on the other hand, God is using me within my church, to upload audio sermons, to reach out to the needy, to work with VBS, and other avenues. And my kids are apart of the ministry too...there is only about 100-150 of us at the church.

If it is in your ability and power to attend a church regularly, that I implore and encourage all to do so. For individuals such as yourself that do not stay in one place for too long, than what you are doing is just fine and I applaud you in the Lord. Stay connected and tuned into the Lord. Or as one pastor has said often, "Stay under the spout where the blessings come out."
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