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post #31 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-17-2014, 12:22 PM
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Re: The whole child bearing thing

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Originally Posted by CynthiaDe View Post
I don't entirely agree here. If someone says they are using the fertility awareness method, but they have sex when they know she is fertile, it is still counted as a failure, even though they weren't technically using the method, because they had sex knowing she was fertile. That would throw the numbers way off.
It is true that different things can impact the signs, but if a woman has been charting for a long time, she will know when she is or is not fertile with a high degree of accuracy. This is why it can also be used to get pregnant.
However, it is certainly possible for the fertility awareness method to fail for the above reasons that you mentioned. I just don't think that the statistics are accurate due to people saying they use the method when in reality, they had sex when they knew there was a high risk for pregnancy. I actually know people who used the fertility awareness method and got pregnant, but they also knew they were fertile when they did, but that doesn't mean they didn't use the method. I hope that made sense.
I'm not saying there aren't failures, just that I do not believe it is as high as statistics would have us believe.
I'll just have to agree to disagree. I know plenty of people(many Catholic friends) who followed it well(they teach the method at certain church seminars) and ended up pregnant, myself included.

I spent several months charting, keeping track of temperature, cervical mucus, etc. and "knew" my body(charted cervical mucus for well over a year, spent months charting temps). We did not have sex during what I noticed was my fertile window, but still ended up pregnant with my son. I'm not complaining, as I love my son. He is an amazing kid who just came earlier than planned. I also have endometriosis with different cycle lengths each month, so that made things a bit more difficult, but I thought I had it all down. I used the method because I can't use hormones(for medical reasons - would land me in the hospital), but after having my son, we switched to barrier methods. It's more annoying, but I at least know the failure rate is a lot less.

It's also important to know that sperm can survive for up to a week inside the woman in the right conditions. It's easy for ovulation to be delayed by other factors, making it risky. Cycles can change, so even if the woman has been charting for over a year, something can happen and the woman can easily end up pregnant. It's not a reliable form of birth control.

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post #32 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-17-2014, 03:57 PM
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Re: The whole child bearing thing

I've met people who've gotten pregnant while using NFP/FAM but I have never met anyone that when asked questions by 2 of my friends (both instructors) couldn't see where they got pregnant and why. Not saying they don't happen. One of the instructors got pregnant when she wasn't planning on it but she said she got lazy and wasn't taking her temp and ended up having mucus again and knew she was probably in trouble. Not arguing for FAM it can be very difficult to follow.

The morning after pill works as a high dose birth control, and people argue about the morning after pill all the time. But as SA pointed out there are many beliefs as to when life begins, to impose your beliefs on others is quite arrogant. And to shun someone is beyond words, sorry some of you have had to go thru that.

As to the original question from working in healthcare I can tell you that your bodies shape depends more on your care and your genetic makeup then whether you've had kids. I've had patients who had incontinence issues that never had kids, I've had 6 kids and I'm small and have had a 9.5 lb baby and have no problem with incontinence. Hormones change over time whether or not you have kids. Yes things will change but time will do that even if you don't have kids. So I wouldn't let that determine having a baby or not. What should determine it is, do you want to have a child, does your husband want a child?

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post #33 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-17-2014, 07:37 PM
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Re: The whole child bearing thing

I'm sorry, I as much as I respect the beliefs of others I have to chuckle at the argument that life begins at conception. This is based on the argument that zygotes display the scientific attributes of life; fair enough, but so do sperm. That makes every man who masturbates to completion a murderer. If birth control prevents life so does male masturbation. I don't see this issue coming up.....
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post #34 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-17-2014, 07:45 PM
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Re: The whole child bearing thing

Problem is your trying too hard. Wont work that way

My first wife tried until I was chapped and so was she. The longer we tried the more we failed.

I know this part sounds really terrible and I DON'T RECOMMEND IT, but she was going to work, was in a car accident and was pretty sore after it considering it destroyed the car. The doctor gave her muscle relaxers and one day, POOF, she was pregnant. She was relaxed and so was I.

Please don't go out and wreck the car, but stop fretting and just relax. Worked for us.
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post #35 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2014, 09:15 PM
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Re: The whole child bearing thing

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I really don't care if she does or not so it's all good.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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