Re: My husband has recently become religious and I'm sooo not
I did not read the others posts. However, I am in the same boat as you -cept it was my wife. From my personal (LIVE) experience, this is probably doomed to fail. I am usually an optimist on most issues, but this one I will fall short. LIke you, we discussed religion briefily and agreed to respect others, yet a couple years later she had a "conversion" (or w/e they call it) and to day 11yrs later, it has been nothing short of stressful living. Almost "roommate" effect. We no longer talk, as we have nothing much in common, since everything she wants to talk about is god related, there i no more intimacy, since we got married via JOP, and the catholic church does not recognize that as married, so she see's herself living in sin.. and there are financial issues since she does not work.
I've decided the big "D". I have spoken to a few people in the same situation, they all agree, once the religious overbearing aspect hits, it is a tough ride, and eventually it doesn't work.
In the beginning we agreed to respect each others faith, but it is overbearing. I am on your side. This type of relationship rarely works. I found most of Aspydad's (bible thumping) post a little offensive, as this is not the topic of finding "god" but failing the marriage - breaking promises, and what options she should take regarding it. She did nothing wrong, and now feels betrayed - criticizing her because she does not feel the same "strength" (or belief as him) is discrimination, and not addressing her issue.
I am spiritual, but it doesn't affect how I treat my wife. And I am sure I have exhausted all my options of being patient(my friends and family think I put up with too much, but I follow my vows I made - a promise. but enough is enough), like her husband, my wife too, goes to church all the time now, refuses to work. YES, there is a pattern here. It is a very common situation. Something "pops" and poof, everything is god this and that, and the marriage goes way side, along with the families livelihood.
I have dealt with her for 8yrs now - My suggestion to you, is if you see no change, you might want to consider the alternative. I've lost my business because of her - while I do not blame her (I could always so no), it is the fact that she puts me in situations that she knows she should not. And I fear your husband will do the same. As you mentioned, he is already stressing the business out. Don't let it go to far. Or you will find yourself paycheck-to-paycheck, and worse, a broken heart.
Listen to Poobear, VMS and SoSadIAm,
They are correct. That is how we did it in the beginning, but she let religion take over. Some people here I noticed do not understand the damage "unhealthy-obsession" with religion can be (doctors diagnosed my wife with an OCD of Religion, I did not know that was a disorder!!), What they fail to realize is that your husband is on a path of taking his religious believes to an unhealthy level, and will knock you down if you interfere.
Keep in touch, I would like to know how things go...
I chose the big D, I don't like living like roommates anymore - I am someone too. and you are to. Just remember that!