My husband doesn't let me see his spiritual side - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-16-2015, 06:02 PM Thread Starter
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My husband doesn't let me see his spiritual side

Hello, I don't usually post on forums, but I don't have anyone that I feel comfortable talking to about this. My husband and I recently got married after dating for about 3 years. He grew up in a Christian family, always going to church, doing missions trips, and having a personal relationship with God. When we met, I didn't believe in God. My then boyfriend told me that he wanted me to have a relationship with God, but he didn't press it on me and didn't show me his spiritual side. I got saved about a year and a half into our relationship, and since then I've wanted to share my walk with God with him. But I don't feel like I can. He meets weekly with a group of Christian men from our community and he shares with them, worships with them, prays with them. But he won't with me. I've only seen him pray when people ask him to pray for them, and that's only been a handful of times. I'm new to this life, and still very insecure about everything and need the guidance and leadership from my husband. I've asked him why he doesn't let me see that side, but he just says he doesn't know and he'll try to work on it. But after so many times of saying that, I'm just beginning to doubt that it will change. I want to be able to share with him, pray with him, worship with him, but I need him to lead the way. I'm new to all of this and still feel like I'm doing it wrong, as stupid as that may sound. I just don't know what needs to change for him to realize that he can open up and let me see that side of him, that I NEED to see that side of him. Please help me..

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-16-2015, 10:10 PM
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Re: My husband doesn't let me see his spiritual side

This is so refreshing . You are absolutely right a couple should pray and share the word together as this brings the presence of Jesus and answered prayers( goals you want to achieve as a couple) . Here are some scriptures to help you

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Amos 3:3
Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?

Matthew 18: 19 -20
“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Don't be afraid to lead the way in prayer ,women are very prayerful and this is evident throughout the bible . Go to any prayer meeting the number of women is usually higher than the number of man

Set aside time for bible study together.

I encourage you to be like the Jews at Berea (ACTS 17:10) who examined the scriptures and did not accept Paul's teaching at face value , in as much as your husband can lead you ,you have to study scripture yourself .

I said women are very prayerful and it is evident through out the bible. Is this true ?
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-16-2015, 10:19 PM
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Re: My husband doesn't let me see his spiritual side

Have you tried to engage him in your questions? Maybe you can teach him to lead by asking for his guidance on specific questions. Or tell him about an issue you're dealing with, and ask him if there is something in the Bible that might help you. Maybe that will get things rolling.

Is there a women's group at your church as well as the men's group? Get involved, make some friends, be a part of the community. I'm sure that will give you more confidence with your husband, too.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-17-2015, 04:15 PM
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Re: My husband doesn't let me see his spiritual side

For some people, exhibiting their spirituality is employing a degree of vulnerability. It could also be that husband is unsure about himself as a masculine leader of the family...reluctant to step into that "office" of defining spiritual direction. Also, because he grew up in a ministry-centered family he may have "waxed cold" in his own passions and is just going through the motions. It can be any of these things, but it is important that she takes up that role.

If he is a "nice guy" then I would suggest he read Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood may be another applicable book.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-22-2016, 12:00 AM
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Re: My husband doesn't let me see his spiritual side

Many people feel that their faith is a private thing, and that could be it, too. But, it's possible he doesn't want to make a mistake and lead in the wrong way. My fiance talks about this sometimes, when we discuss our faith and marriage. Men also receive so many mixed messages these days from the cultural narrative which doesn't really support men leading in their families, actually. So, some of his ambivalence might be coming from that, too. Just keep talking and praying with him. Things should work out.

Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
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