What happens if you want to forgive someone, but they keep repeating the same behaviour? Is it a true fresh start if you cut that person off, wish them well but keep them away because they are toxic?
I must say then when I could finally feel compassion for my abusers, a weight lifted from my shoulders. I was finally at peace.
What happens if you want to forgive someone, but they keep repeating the same behaviour? Is it a true fresh start if you cut that person off, wish them well but keep them away because they are toxic?
Many are toxic to themselves. For me, so long as they are not crowding my personal boundaries, calling me too much to whine, or interfering with my own life & family to the point of annoyance, I would probably not cut them off. Depends on the offense of coarse. They would have to put up with my constructive criticism in the aftermath -if I felt offended and had the urge to say what for. That alone could drive them away! I am not one to stay quiet when I am bothered by something. But I try to bring it across as peacefully as I possibly can to restore harmony, if it can he had.
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I must say then when I could finally feel compassion for my abusers, a weight lifted from my shoulders. I was finally at peace.
Definitely. Feeling that weight lifted was always my attainment in this thing called forgiveness, the sign from heaven itself -it is finished. It's striving is done, I am free once again.
What happens if you want to forgive someone, but they keep repeating the same behaviour? Is it a true fresh start if you cut that person off, wish them well but keep them away because they are toxic?
I must say then when I could finally feel compassion for my abusers, a weight lifted from my shoulders. I was finally at peace.
Good pts & Q's Mrs G.
your 2nd paragraph eptomizes Jesus' "heart" time after time
especially concerning "his lost" sheep Israel, and the benefits
for us to do as He did/does. IF we "master" giving it to Him
we are doing very very well indeed.
your 1st para: hmmm......my understanding is this presently:
if "they" transgress and ask forgiveness 70 x 70 times we
are to forgive like our FATHER does in Heaven.
if they transgress & dont ask, then we are to give it to
GOD for "judgement" for we could error in many possible
ways for many reasons. GOD alone will judge and recompense
them if they do evil (or good for that matter) and how much.
if u stay w/in the "dont asks" reach or in their company
methinks GOD will tell u when to "move on" if not immediately then WHEN. For whether good or bad, there are lessons for all of us to learn thru these people and situations, whether we like them (people and the lessons) or not.
for this has been my life experience thus far. not all who "hurt" u r your enemy AND not all who console u are your friend.
this theme can clearly be seen in the book of Job.
What happens if you want to forgive someone, but they keep repeating the same behaviour? Is it a true fresh start if you cut that person off, wish them well but keep them away because they are toxic?
The idea of forgiveness is not to get someone else to change, nor is it a reward for their good behavior - it is something you simply grant them.
And if you follow Jesus' advice, you will simply forgive over and over, endlessly (his use of 70x70 was not a numerical formula - it was to point out that you keep doing it)...
But this does NOT mean that you must put yourself in danger over and over - you can certainly remove yourself from the situation. Sometimes that is the best answer, especially when it means keeping you from harm.
In that situation, you forgive, and stay away from the possibility of future problems.
Forgiveness is just as much a "releasing one's self" from emotional and mental bondage as it is the "releasing someone from a grudge" due to some offense, damage, fraud, injury, and/or abuse.
I forgave my husband a long time ago for abandoning me. Wasn't even that difficult. However, I find myself having to forgive him over and over again for abandoning his child as well. Every time my son asks me why his father never comes to see him anymore...every birthday and Christmas and Father's Day when my son wonders why daddy isn't there...every time he calls and promises to visit and then never shows up...I struggle not to hate him. It's harder for me when someone hurts the people I love than when they hurt me.
Well, as much as I hate to disagree with some of the others, forgiveness is for you, not for the forgiven. Most of the time they couldn't care less. I have heard it said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Now I just learn not to be bothered by others, not to expect much from people! Because they are HUMAN.
I'll take it a step further and say that expecting them to keep their word might be a bridge too far... blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.
I wonder why forgiveness isn't learned more so (Im not speaking to the extreme cases) as we grow up? We all learn manner, speech, writing, math. We learn jealous, sadness, and unfairness, as we grow into adults. Why is forgiveness one the toughest to understand, & what it really means? (I myself,still don't have a clue) Why is it a coping skill so few of us posses when we are tested?
Forgiveness is such a great thing. I know that deeply considering I went through it with my sister. Sometimes you have to forgive someone if you truly understand them. People make mistakes and we all deserve second chances in life.
I wonder why forgiveness isn't learned more so (Im not speaking to the extreme cases) as we grow up?
Because people can be unimaginably cruel, even to their own children. There are people who NEVER come to grips with the cruelty they have seen, let alone learn how to forgive.
i can relate to the "shat on me but NOT my kids/loved one(s)!"
i'm not "perfected" in this area yet. For Jesus, while on earth,
witnessed several/many injustices, calamities, misforturnes, etc
and held his "peace" (i.e. did not act/speak); ala John the baptist, Tower accident, et al.
if u hurt my family/friends, am sure i'm not "there" yet.
i've heard/read both sides of this "issue" of turning the other
cheek, as applied to others injustices, etc.
Because people can be unimaginably cruel, even to their own children. There are people who NEVER come to grips with the cruelty they have seen, let alone learn how to forgive.
Interesting tho', for many
a born again christian goes thru a "cleansing stage" in which
they confess/acknowledge past sins that need to be addressed
and/or fixed/resolved. in essence, almost like a "judgement day" on earth in which atonement is possible/necessary.
Interesting tho', for many
a born again christian goes thru a "cleansing stage" in which
they confess/acknowledge past sins that need to be addressed
and/or fixed/resolved. in essence, almost like a "judgement day" on earth in which atonement is possible/necessary.
That sounds more like AA than Christianity.
My reading tells me that you will never really "arrive" this side of Paradise, mainly because of the fallen state of the world we live in, and we are constantly washing our feet from worldly contamination. As a result, we "work out our salvation in fear and trembling". This is not works righteous, mind you, just the persuit of being holy as God is holy.
i'm not "perfected" in this area yet. For Jesus, while on earth,
witnessed several/many injustices, calamities, misforturnes, etc
and held his "peace" (i.e. did not act/speak); ala John the baptist, Tower accident, et al.
Yet, he had compassion on the victims. Go figure. Evidently Jesus had a vision of the bigger picture.
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Re: forgiveness, how so/what cost? 
Re: forgiveness, how so/what cost? 
