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post #16 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 12:11 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

You met and married her with her having the impression that you would continue to be a Christian. You betrayed this, posing to be a Chistian. She has the right to expect you to be a Christian and to divorce you if you believe differently now.

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post #17 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 12:45 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

If he actively and purposely hid his atheism, it would be a betrayal IMO. Changing your belief system, over time, is not a betrayal.
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post #18 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 12:52 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

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Originally Posted by jb02157 View Post
You met and married her with her having the impression that you would continue to be a Christian. You betrayed this, posing to be a Chistian. She has the right to expect you to be a Christian and to divorce you if you believe differently now.
What nonsense. Yes, she can choose to divorce him if she wishes, but he did not "pose" as anything but what he believed at the time.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #19 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 12:55 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

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What nonsense. Yes, she can choose to divorce him if she wishes, but he did not "pose" as anything but what he believed at the time.
You're only proving that you can't read. He clearly met her with her believing he was a Christian.
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post #20 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 01:14 PM Thread Starter
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True. If she wanted a divorce over it then I can't stop her. I doubt she would over this though - other things about me perhaps. People change. I can't just be a Christian again no more than you could switch faiths. You can't make yourself believe in something that you don't believe. I'd love to have all the knowledge and experience I have today back when I was 20. I already said we wouldn't have married. Neither of us would've wanted to. But here we are. Regardless of divorce, the kids will always here a theist and an antitheist view. I was just looking for someone in the same situation and how it worked out. I'm particularly more interested in when the kids are pre-teen or close to it and have questions. I'm worried that she will tell them something like the world flooded and God had Noah build the boat. Then I'll have to explain that there is no evidence of this other than some ancient writings that were influenced/borrowed from other culture's writings. And so on. I'll just cross that bridge when we get there I guess
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post #21 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 02:24 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

You could always just say "I don't know if there was a Noah or an Ark, here is what we know about it.........". The way you phrased it was directly confrontational and antagonistic to what your wife 'may' say.
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post #22 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 02:33 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

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You're only proving that you can't read. He clearly met her with her believing he was a Christian.
Who's illiterate, my friend?

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I met my wife with the premise that I was a christian albeit in need of work, and with aspirations of becoming a better christian. After the birth of our son 7 years ago I started having doubts.
Now if the OP cares to say otherwise, I'll grant your point.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #23 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 03:08 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

[QUOTE=Misfits;12325418]

The problem now is there are countless damaging things religion can so to a person. It can riddle them with guilt - especially if they are gay.

Dude, Do you not understand that Jesus died on the cross as a sacrifice for ALL SINS. If a person is GAY and has accepted Jesus as his Lord - then he is as white as SNOW!! Or another words FORGIVEN.

I'd like my kids to have the Christian view but more importantly I want them to have a skeptics view - something that if was available to me long ago I certainly wouldn't have "tricked" my wife into marriage.

Sorry buddy - but this tells the story.

I would've been an athiest and looked for an atheist partner. My kids will have a perspective that may or may not cause them to doubt biblical beliefs. This is a good thing. But I worry that my wife will see my views as a threat to the children because of eternal damnation and all that. Not something that is real, can be seen, nor tested. Something purely made up and with different meanings based again on the interpretation of the same book. This concerns me because she will be protecting the children in her mind. That could be a problem down the road. Right now it's not because I think the heaven idea and story is great for young minds - I don't want them worried about the idea of death at their age.

YUP - this is going to be a problem - I have seen it!!

*******************
Sorry Married but HAPPY, but see above - he tells it like it is - "tricked his wife" which is what I suspected.

He also really does not understand what a Christian is - totally blind to it.

Any Christian knows that one believes by Faith Only (as you cannot see God and certainly were not there to see the writing of the Gospels - or, The Old Testament for that matter.) As a matter of fact - one must have Faith to be an Atheist - as an Atheist was not there in the beginning either and certainly was not there when the History that it is said contradicts the Bible was written - All Faith I tell you.

Out of the OP's own mouth - "I was trying to pursue a stronger Faith" - I say stronger Faith than what?

Sorry, but I can read right through the OP here. He knows what he did.
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post #24 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 03:22 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

[QUOTE=Aspydad;12329834]
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Sorry Married but HAPPY, but see above - he tells it like it is - "tricked his wife" which is what I suspected.

He also really does not understand what a Christian is - totally blind to it.
We need OP to clarify, but I don't read it the way you do. I read it as saying he didn't and would not have tricked his wife into marrying - and couldn't have - because back then he didn't know what his beliefs would become.

I won't argue the theology with you, because we simply wouldn't be able to agree on anything. I doubt anything you're espousing will change his mind about his beliefs, anyway.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #25 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 05:27 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

Also, all I know about Hell is that it is a place NOT in heaven - and that it is not a place one should desire to be - for all I know it is something like Africa

Ouch that hurt .If you want to go to hell just go to Africa. IN future please refrain from making such irresponsible statements.

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post #26 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 05:51 PM Thread Starter
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Look aspy- I'm not sure what the advantage to me or anyone would be to pretend that I was a Christian so I could marry a Christian? I know it takes faith to believe this stuff. It has to because without faith, you can't get around the issues of the bible and religion in general. To me none of it makes sense. You won't change my mind on that - I've had about 25 years in the faith so I'm well aware of your points. I've heard it all before by many different sources.

And if you think it takes faith to be an atheist then you're ignorant of what atheism is. I simply don't believe any of the religious sources. I'm not making a claim of knowledge that God doesn't exist. I'm simply not buying into any of the bible Or apologetic arguments for it - at least none of the ones I've heard. If there was a god, he could produce much better evidencd and communicate to us in a far more efficient and clear means than the bible. Heck I think anyone could come up with a better system to get the message out - even without Devine powers. Think of it this way - you likely have an atheistic view on Hinduism, Greek gods, etc... You simply don't believe them or their sources and don't acknowledge that those gods are real. Well that's me about all religions and gods. Not that I looked into them all - I think it'd be a waste of time but I can paint them all with the same broad brush of disbelieve. I can't say they are all wrong with 100% certainty. I just highly doubt them.

Well look there - theological debate. Not surprising.

So nobody here in my situation then Huh?
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post #27 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 05:53 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

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You're only proving that you can't read. He clearly met her with her believing he was a Christian.
That's mean and wrong.
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post #28 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 05:58 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

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Oh and if a wife made it to heaven but her children went to hell. Is the wife really in a place of peace and happiness everlasting knowing she would never see her children again and knowing they are suffering eternally? Seems to me that would be hell for both the mother and the child
God is much bigger than mom and dad, if He plans for you to spend eternity with Him, He is going to see that happen.
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post #29 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 06:05 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

If he leaves her, she is obliged to let him go, but she would be sinning by leaving him over this.

Most likely she's going to make her family her mission field.

That seems to be what she intends to do, and she is following that call.

At least your wife stands for something OP, don't assume she's the nave one that falls for anything.
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post #30 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-08-2015, 07:04 PM
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Re: Former Christian but wife still believes

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Also, all I know about Hell is that it is a place NOT in heaven - and that it is not a place one should desire to be - for all I know it is something like Africa

Ouch that hurt .If you want to go to hell just go to Africa. IN future please refrain from making such irresponsible statements.
You are correct. I should not have wrote it that way. When I think of Africa, I think of drought and starvation - I see flies everywhere - and I am sure the entire country is not like that - it is just what I have seen on TV. That was my point by the way. Maybe I should have referred to the death camps that Hitler set up instead.
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