My husband is mad at God. - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Spirituality The place to look for faith based solutions.

View Poll Results: Should I worry about my husband's spirituality?
Yes 0 0%
No 7 100.00%
Voters: 7. You may not vote on this poll

User Tag List

 11Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-22-2015, 09:29 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
MelK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2
Question My husband is mad at God.

When I met my husband, he was basically what I would describe as a lost soul. He didn't attend church and seemed to do the complete opposite of what he should do when it comes to spiritual growth. I remember asking him what kept him grounded. He responded that it was himself. As our relationship grew, he later admitted that since his brother's death, he was angry at God for letting him pass away after all the praying he did. I talked to him and he seemed to have a new perspective on the root of his anger but his actions remained the same. For example, he does not attend church, not that attending church defines spirituality or anything but my main concern is that he does not exhibit any desire to grow as a spiritual person. I love him and we have a happy marriage but I worry that he is basically a leaf being blown around in the wind. He now says I am his spiritual voice of wisdom who keeps him grounded but I always think and when I'm not here? What then? To give a little background, his father is an ordained minister and my parents were also ordained. We come from different denominations but based in Christianity. I am far from religious so I do not participate in traditional acts commonly identified as being Christian (i.e. going to church on Easter). However, I am a very spiritual person, I believe and love God, obey the principles outlined in the bible and all of that jazz. I just wish my husband displayed the same heart for God as I do. When I come to him with a scripture or ask him to pray with him, he will willingly join in but I feel he's only doing it to appease me. Am I overreacting?

MelK is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-23-2015, 01:32 AM
Moderator
 
EleGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 32,924
Re: My husband is mad at God.

You married him knowing all of this. I think you are overreacting.

Worry about your own spiritualty. He will take care of himself in whatever way he wants.

It's like you have set up an artificial judgment of the correct level of spirituality. Whatever you do it the level that you find acceptable so now you want him to change to be like you.
EleGirl is offline  
post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 04:53 AM
Member
 
gouge_away's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,202
Re: My husband is mad at God.

God can deal with your husbands anger. Keep praying for the Lord to love on him and soften his heart.

Lord, thank you for putting this woman into this man's life. Continue to guide her in your ways so that she can be the spiritual mentor this man so desperately needs. Reflect your love and grace, so that he can see your forgiveness and compassion through the wife he cherishes.
Heavenly Father, surround this man with a hedge of correction and discernment when she isn't available.

And if it is your will father, break him down to pieces, shatter his soul, and build him back up on your foundation.
Thank you for reading our prayer, and answering the prayers for so many of us lost souls to return home.
gouge_away is offline  
 
post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 05:00 AM
Member
 
SecondTime'Round's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 4,213
Re: My husband is mad at God.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gouge_away View Post
God can deal with your husbands anger. Keep praying for the Lord to love on him and soften his heart.

Lord, thank you for putting this woman into this man's life. Continue to guide her in your ways so that she can be the spiritual mentor this man so desperately needs. Reflect your love and grace, so that he can see your forgiveness and compassion through the wife he cherishes.
Heavenly Father, surround this man with a hedge of correction and discernment when she isn't available.

And if it is your will father, break him down to pieces, shatter his soul, and build him back up on your foundation.
Thank you for reading our prayer, and answering the prayers for so many of us lost souls to return home.


They will know we are Christians by our love....
SecondTime'Round is offline  
post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 06:20 AM
Member
 
ScrambledEggs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 822
Re: My husband is mad at God.

I don't know if your husband and I are much alike but I can give you a non-believers perspective. And it does sound like you married a person who really has no faith, a polite atheist who is willing to pray to avoid people feeling discomfort. The "mad at god" interpretation sounds a great deal like a common atheist critique of religion that points out that the amount of subjective random suffering of innocents in the world. As an example, what kind of benevolent got designs and creates an ocular parasite that devours your eyes from the inside. This sort of logic leads people like me to be incredulous about got which I can see it might appear to be anger. However, actually being angry at god and believing him, particularly in the christian context, is a strange position indeed and probably does not exist.

One of the things you encounter as an Atheist are incredulous people of faith that cannot understand how non-believers draw on spirituality and determine morality citing the lack of a divine law as an invitation just do what you want. Or as you have suggested, "how do you ground yourself". Atheist do tend to be less interested in exploring spiritual things but there are many very spiritual atheists and even subsets of Buddhism are very comparable with atheism. Beyond that there is much spiritual ecstasy to be had contemplate the wonders we do know about the world with having to draw fundamental conclusions about the nature of it. If you ever watched any Carl Sagan and missed the spiritual overtones to his work, or the spiritual awe of the known and unknown, you missed the most important part of his work. The below Tyson Video gives you a taste of what I mean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYolHjFbjM0

So my take on this is there is nothing wrong with you wanting or even requiring a spiritual connection out of your spouse. Though it does seem relevant that he was this way when you married him and you can't really ask someone to believe in something that they don't believe in. And also realize that a lack of god in a persons life does not mean a person is broken, untrustworthy, or immoral.

If you are going to move past this I think you are going to need to expand your idea of what spirituality is and find ways that you can connect with that.

Last edited by ScrambledEggs; 04-24-2015 at 03:21 PM.
ScrambledEggs is offline  
post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 08:15 AM
Member
 
gouge_away's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,202
Re: My husband is mad at God.

Idk, pretty sure every Christian at some point was angry at God.
Its kinda the sin of Cain.
gouge_away is offline  
post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 03:24 PM
Member
 
ScrambledEggs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 822
Re: My husband is mad at God.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gouge_away View Post
Idk, pretty sure every Christian at some point was angry at God.
Its kinda the sin of Cain.
If that is true then is a short step from there become essentially an atheist or at least an abstract deist and is certainly a lighter burden to bear the implausibility of the bible in the face of the cruelty of the natural world. Just my opinion, not trying to convince anyone in this thread.
ScrambledEggs is offline  
post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 04:00 PM
Member
 
gouge_away's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,202
Re: My husband is mad at God.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScrambledEggs View Post
If that is true then is a short step from there become essentially an atheist or at least an abstract deist and is certainly a lighter burden to bear the implausibility of the bible in the face of the cruelty of the natural world. Just my opinion, not trying to convince anyone in this thread.
I don't have any clue to what you just said you seem to have just created a false dichotomy, what does anger have to do with belief or disbelief?

Are you saying, you cannot believe in God because you would be angry at him?
gouge_away is offline  
post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 04:09 PM
Member
 
BlueWoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 588
Re: My husband is mad at God.

I have many arguments with God. He/She always wins, but I try.
BlueWoman is offline  
post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 05:18 PM
Member
 
ScrambledEggs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 822
Re: My husband is mad at God.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gouge_away View Post
I don't have any clue to what you just said you seem to have just created a false dichotomy, what does anger have to do with belief or disbelief?

Are you saying, you cannot believe in God because you would be angry at him?
No, I said that if you are 'mad at god' which suggest you find something you attribute to him to be wrong or hurtful then you are a "short step away" from atheism or at least deism.

As I see it, there are two ways to go from there. You either decide that you don't understand god's wisdom and all that he does is by definition "good" despite however horrible and illogical it might be to us and on us, or you conclude that the whole artifice of a benevolant omniscient creator is just a human construct. That a benevolent god would not create a world where your infant suffers and dies slowly from a birth defect, nor would he make parasites that devour children's eyeballs out of their head. God is either cruel as the ultimate architect of human suffering or he is impotent and unable to affect these things.

Again, I am not trying to convince anyone, I am just explaining the argument.

ScrambledEggs is offline  
post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 05:29 PM
Member
 
bandit.45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 17,423
Re: My husband is mad at God.

Put me in the same boat as your husband. Me and the Old Man have not spoken in years.
bandit.45 is online now  
post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 05:57 PM
Registered User
 
Misfits's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 15
I was similar to your husband early in marriage. I wanted to be a better Christian and grow more. Met the wife And did the church thing consistantly for a while but I never grew much. My wife wanted me to be a strong spiritual leader of the family. She thought I was angry at God for some reason. Years later I'm an atheist. It was after digging into the historical bible and Christianity that it all clicked and I realized its all bs. Wish it didn't take so long but there it is. So now she thinks I'm angry at God and just want a reason to live sinfully (porn beer cussing etc...). My piont is maybe he's not angry at God but has lost his belief and is just appeSing you. That's what I did before admitting I was an atheist
Misfits is offline  
post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 06:05 PM
Member
 
Runs like Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Redneckistan
Posts: 10,051
Re: My husband is mad at God.

Victor Frankl, a psychotherapist and Orthodox Jew who was sent to Auschwitz commented in one of his books that when he was sent to the camp he began to hope. When questioned how that made sense his answer was 'before that I lived in fear, but then I began to live in hope.'

I guess it depends on what you're afraid of more than who you're mad at.

Is there such thing as insanity among penguins? - Werner Herzog
Runs like Dog is offline  
post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 09:21 PM
Member
 
gouge_away's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,202
Re: My husband is mad at God.

Back to the Op.

God asks, "come let us reason together." God understands far more than we do, God asks us to contend with Him, hash it out with Him. He delights in our love, and trust in Him, but he also understands our lack of trust and frustrations submitting to his will and divine plan.

Adam hid
Job argued
Jonah pfft
Abraham contended
Moses disobeyed
Jacob wrestled
David ignored, cried, deflected
Jeremiah doubted
Jesus questioned His father's will, pleaded to not be included in his divine plan, and accused God of turning His back on the Cross.

Edit: your husband is hurting, still mourning the death of his brother... quit worrying what he should be doing, and put all your focus on what the bible asks of you.

Your still in my prayers dear.

Last edited by gouge_away; 04-24-2015 at 09:32 PM.
gouge_away is offline  
post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 09:26 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 622
Re: My husband is mad at God.

Don't waste energy worrying about your husband. Just do the best you can, be patient, and let God do the worrying. Nurture a quiet faith and let your example inspire your husband.

Take great heed to the Pauline lecture on charity outlined in 1 Corrinthians chapter 13. This chapter contains some of the most profound advise available for marriage on the face of this planet.

We mortals are often prone to foolishly try to dictate our agenda to God on our timetable. Patience, faith and prayer are useful tools.
commonsenseisn't is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Tags
god, husband, marriage, spiritual

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I fear my husband has been sleeping with my God son. I need advice melindag Coping with Infidelity 46 05-23-2013 11:25 AM
husband gets mad at me for being mad at him gabbie1 General Relationship Discussion 5 07-31-2012 10:01 AM
Marriage triangle: God, husband, wife. Riverside MFT Relationships and Spirituality 42 08-07-2011 10:37 PM
My husband is mad at me, please help! Newtothis Financial Problems in Marriage 9 01-21-2010 10:23 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome