Re: My husband's ex-girlfriend
I don't know what denomination your husband or you are, but from where I come from, someone generally gets baptized a LONG time before they become a minister. And, if you knew that your husband was involved in ministry at this church before you got married, you should have known he wouldn't just drop it BECAUSE he got married. You should be in ministry with him.
In regard to the ex-girlfriend, I think she's really a non-issue in this case. She has a relationship with his family, why should she be required to severe that relationship if they parted on good terms?
If you're concerned about his actions and excluding you, it could be because you're not trying to be a part of that aspect of his life. To be completely honest, unless you change your ways and become more involved in his "church" life, I don't hold out hope for the marriage lasting. I hate to sound like a doomsayer, but I really don't see that you're making the effort to make the marriage work.