Thanks for your responses so far.
Someone asked me if I was asking out if general interest or if I was looking for resources myself.
Mainly the first one. I have recently been following XXX Church and whilst they seem to approach hard topics from a well meaning place, it seems they also can fall into some of the traps I have seen in the wider church.
I have been on these forums for 3-4 years and you don't have to read too much to get an idea of what kind of struggles couples are having. Couples with differing sex drives or needs, affairs, problematic porn/lust issues, lies and breaking down of trust, in-law dilemmas, growing to disliking each other, differing styles with finance or home management, children etc.
I have seen some of this addressed through sermons, courses, DVDs, books, articles, social media, pastoral care and marriage counselling.
I have generally found meeting with our pastor or marriage counsellor (who is also Christian) has been the most effective thing for us, but the rest can be "hit and miss" in my experience.
There are some mindsets and stereotypes I find in Christian circles that i don't find particularly helpful or biblical. Eg...
1. Stereotypes about men and women traits or what we want. Eg, " men are visual", "women want to be pursued"
2. Women need to cover up to help men not lust, except when it's our own husband,which means we have to put more effort into looking sexy for him and be willing to put out more.
3. Honour your parents (or in-laws) whilst remembering to "leave and cleave" to your spouse. I was struggling with this one recently when my dying father in law was living with us and his severe gambling issue and constant lying was impacting on us. It's hard to do both of these things where then situation is more complex...
These are just a few themes I come across in a lot of the resources.
I also think some mindsets try to make some issues more simple than they are. Eg, if you follow 3 simple steps, your children will blossom into amazing Christians, or ensuring the man is the head of the home will achieve order.
Marriage and family can be really messy. I feel some pastors are wise to this when counselling couples. I have also found the Boundaries book more useful than a lot of marriage resources, although I have not read the Boundaries For Marriage book yet.
Them there is the culture of some churches where families rock up smiling and dressed and behaving nicely but the culture of that particular church has a "don't talk" message of people are experiencing serious family problems.
I hope i am not bringing anyone down with this. My post and this comment came from some frustration with some of the mindsets and messages I encounter and have been most recently bothered by XXX Church's assertions. Things are ok-ish for us at the moment but if we hit a real rough patch again I know we have a few Christian things to draw from but I personally would stick to professional counselling and pastoral support