I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of how I might die. There are good deaths, bad deaths and horrible deaths. My father and sister had good deaths, he died suddenly yet not unexpectedly and she died from kidney cancer but was relatively active and healthy up until the last 8-12 weeks. My mother and brother had horrible deaths; the kind of deaths that make me form a suicide plan should I end up with a degenerative neurological disease like they had. I think a bad death is when there is no easing into death but instead a painful or protracted battle to hang on even when the body is clearly actively dying.
Interestingly, to me at least, one of my BFF's is from a weekly mass attending Catholic family and both her father and brother were in the active dying stage for two months. Two months of bed ridden, hand holding, vigil sitting, any moment now hanging on as long as possible. Both of those deaths, though not unexpected, were extremely traumatic to her because holding your breath and bracing for the pain of eminent loss for two months is not easing into a death that could not be stopped.
My sister recently died and having been a huge Downton Abby fan, she lamented that she would not see the final season. I watch the show for her.
When it's my time, I would like to have some advance warning to ensure I've left instructions for how to clean the ceramic cook top, that no one seems to grasp.
"Some women are blessed with multi-orgasmic ability for a reason and I'm damn sure not going to waste a blessing" ~FrenchFry
"Vaginas are tricky creatures." ~Lucy999