Has faith/religion helped your relationship? - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Spirituality The place to look for faith based solutions.

User Tag List

 151Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 06:24 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
*Deidre*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Somewhere else...
Posts: 2,554
Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Just curious if some of you follow any particular faith/religion or set of spiritual beliefs, and has it helped your relationships? If you were/are struggling in your marriages, do you feel being centered in faith is helping you both to improve the relationship?

I left Christianity for a few years, and then was an atheist for two years, and then returned to the faith last year...and just wonder if making faith the centerpiece of our relationship will help shield us from some pitfalls?

*Deidre* is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 06:35 PM
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,062
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
Just curious if some of you follow any particular faith/religion or set of spiritual beliefs, and has it helped your relationships? If you were/are struggling in your marriages, do you feel being centered in faith is helping you both to improve the relationship?

I left Christianity for a few years, and then was an atheist for two years, and then returned to the faith last year...and just wonder if making faith the centerpiece of our relationship will help shield us from some pitfalls?
I'm not sure in your case.

God has definitely helped me in my marriage but I don't think I view my belief system like you do.

I'm sold out. I don't leave, try something else and come back.

If you have sincere faith, then I think it will help.
Posted via Mobile Device
ConanHub is online now  
post #3 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 07:21 PM
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 13,530
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Was raised Catholic, with a father who was attending a seminary to become a priest for a few years, was an altar boy(today's server), but I fell away after many things happened which were likely my fault and also just life, but found no discernable help from above.

If miracles happen, I think they are mostly hidden or they are graces wrongly dubbed.

I have family that does attend church regularly and they have gone through some tough marital issues as all do. They made it, but I think the people they spoke with and counseled with were more helpful than anything. I think their faith helped them to have something to hope for when hope in themselves failed them. I think they found themselves something to be passionate about without being a distraction for their commitment to their marriage.

So, I do think it helps, but in the same way that a passion for anything that doesn't harm a marriage might and also give time to forget about their problems for a time. I think combining that with a good counselor/psychologist/etc., does about the same.

One thing that religious beliefs are that a hobby is not, it's timeless and doesn't go out of style unless you let it go.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
2ntnuf is offline  
post #4 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 07:45 PM
Member
 
Married but Happy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 4,202
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

I would say that the lifelong strong atheism that we share coupled with deep Buddhist/Taoist philosophy that we live by has informed and guided our relationship.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
Married but Happy is online now  
post #5 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 08:11 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: MI
Posts: 2,010
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Yes, our faith has helped us both as individuals and as a couple.

Provided the faith/religion isn't some kind of freaky cult, I think faith/religion can be a great help to couples if they are sincere in their beliefs.
MJJEAN is online now  
post #6 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 08:14 PM
Forum Supporter
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 10,689
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
Just curious if some of you follow any particular faith/religion or set of spiritual beliefs, and has it helped your relationships? If you were/are struggling in your marriages, do you feel being centered in faith is helping you both to improve the relationship?

I left Christianity for a few years, and then was an atheist for two years, and then returned to the faith last year...and just wonder if making faith the centerpiece of our relationship will help shield us from some pitfalls?
Let's get one thing straight: whether you are religious or even agnostic is not going to circumvent problems!

From my perspective, as well as my experience in knowing that as a Methodist, the problems just seem to keep coming and coming! In essence, those problems simply are "tests of faith," which as a dedicated Christian, makes it easier to understand and comprehend, and be better able to solve from a Christian perspective.

And with a like-minded spouse in tow, it makes it so much easier to try to solve those tests as a dedicated marital team through mutual understanding and more importantly through prayer!

Posted via Mobile Device

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
arbitrator is online now  
post #7 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 08:33 PM
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,062
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Definitely having the same belief system and acting on it together will help.

What does your man believe?
Posted via Mobile Device
ConanHub is online now  
post #8 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 09:29 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
*Deidre*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Somewhere else...
Posts: 2,554
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
I'm not sure in your case.

God has definitely helped me in my marriage but I don't think I view my belief system like you do.

I'm sold out. I don't leave, try something else and come back.

If you have sincere faith, then I think it will help.
Posted via Mobile Device
Well, before I left the faith, I can honestly say I didn't feel 'born again.' Coming back to the faith, largely had to do with the Holy Spirit, and my faith is entirely new now. I'm grateful that I left it though for a time, because as an atheist, I could look at all religions in a more objective way, and coming back to faith, I understand atheism better than I did before. It always seemed mysterious to me, before I 'deconverted.' Faith for many is a journey, for some...they just know. I had to take a journey. My fiance is a Christian, more moderate.

My concern is...that I don't believe in staying in an unhealthy marriage, one with abuse and infidelity, let's say. But, Christianity teaches to turn the other cheek, so I find some of my own personal views difficult to reconcile with my faith.
*Deidre* is offline  
post #9 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 09:32 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
*Deidre*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Somewhere else...
Posts: 2,554
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by arbitrator View Post
Let's get one thing straight: whether you are religious or even agnostic is not going to circumvent problems!

From my perspective, as well as my experience in knowing that as a Methodist, the problems just seem to keep coming and coming! In essence, those problems simply are "tests of faith," which as a dedicated Christian, makes it easier to understand and comprehend, and be better able to solve from a Christian perspective.

And with a like-minded spouse in tow, it makes it so much easier to try to solve those tests as a dedicated marital team through mutual understanding and more importantly through prayer!

Posted via Mobile Device
I agree with this! Thank you for sharing your views, here. You are right, sheer belief of any sort, isn't going to circumvent secular problems that come our way. There are temptations every single day before us. I hope that we make the right decisions, and that if we don't...how far are we to 'forgive' the other? Christianity is all about forgiveness, I mean...Jesus Himself, died for me...for everyone, without expectation. To follow Him, means to give up my life...give up my ego. That is hard. lol
*Deidre* is offline  
post #10 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 09:34 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
*Deidre*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Somewhere else...
Posts: 2,554
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Married but Happy View Post
I would say that the lifelong strong atheism that we share coupled with deep Buddhist/Taoist philosophy that we live by has informed and guided our relationship.
I think this is so cool. Thank you for sharing. I explored Buddhism when I was an atheist, and the beauty of it is that the concepts transcend religion. Anyone can apply them to their life.

*Deidre* is offline  
post #11 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 09:35 PM
Member
 
Fozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4,447
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
Well, before I left the faith, I can honestly say I didn't feel 'born again.' Coming back to the faith, largely had to do with the Holy Spirit, and my faith is entirely new now. I'm grateful that I left it though for a time, because as an atheist, I could look at all religions in a more objective way, and coming back to faith, I understand atheism better than I did before. It always seemed mysterious to me, before I 'deconverted.' Faith for many is a journey, for some...they just know. I had to take a journey. My fiance is a Christian, more moderate.

My concern is...that I don't believe in staying in an unhealthy marriage, one with abuse and infidelity, let's say. But, Christianity teaches to turn the other cheek, so I find some of my own personal views difficult to reconcile with my faith.
Turning the other cheek is about forgiveness. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to stay with them and absorb more abuse. You protect yourself, leave, forgive, and move on without seeking retribution.

That's turning the other cheek.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
Fozzy is online now  
post #12 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 09:39 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
*Deidre*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Somewhere else...
Posts: 2,554
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2ntnuf View Post
Was raised Catholic, with a father who was attending a seminary to become a priest for a few years, was an altar boy(today's server), but I fell away after many things happened which were likely my fault and also just life, but found no discernable help from above.

If miracles happen, I think they are mostly hidden or they are graces wrongly dubbed.

I have family that does attend church regularly and they have gone through some tough marital issues as all do. They made it, but I think the people they spoke with and counseled with were more helpful than anything. I think their faith helped them to have something to hope for when hope in themselves failed them. I think they found themselves something to be passionate about without being a distraction for their commitment to their marriage.

So, I do think it helps, but in the same way that a passion for anything that doesn't harm a marriage might and also give time to forget about their problems for a time. I think combining that with a good counselor/psychologist/etc., does about the same.

One thing that religious beliefs are that a hobby is not, it's timeless and doesn't go out of style unless you let it go.
Oh, this is really a heartfelt post, thank you. I believe that a miracle did happen last year to me...I had an experience of faith, when I was an atheist. I had let go completely of Jesus and the idea of a deity existing. I wasn't angry, just indifferent over time. And out of nowhere, this happened. And it changed my life. I grew up Catholic, and while there is much beauty in the RCC, it doesn't seem to focus enough on being born again, which Jesus spoke of. And when you feel it, you will just know. It can be challenging at times to 'be like' Jesus. But, that's what the faith calls believers to do.
*Deidre* is offline  
post #13 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 09:41 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
*Deidre*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Somewhere else...
Posts: 2,554
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fozzy View Post
Turning the other cheek is about forgiveness. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to stay with them and absorb more abuse. You protect yourself, leave, forgive, and move on without seeking retribution.

That's turning the other cheek.
This is beautifully put...so many conflicting points of view about this, even from pastors. I agree with you, forgiveness shouldn't mean we keep accepting the bad behavior.
*Deidre* is offline  
post #14 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 09:52 PM
Forum Supporter
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 10,689
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
I agree with this! Thank you for sharing your views, here. You are right, sheer belief of any sort, isn't going to circumvent secular problems that come our way. There are temptations every single day before us. I hope that we make the right decisions, and that if we don't...how far are we to 'forgive' the other? Christianity is all about forgiveness, I mean...Jesus Himself, died for me...for everyone, without expectation. To follow Him, means to give up my life...give up my ego. That is hard. lol
Amen, Sweetheart!

You've simply made my point as well as my day!

Posted via Mobile Device

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
arbitrator is online now  
post #15 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-16-2016, 10:00 PM
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,062
Re: Has faith/religion helped your relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
Well, before I left the faith, I can honestly say I didn't feel 'born again.' Coming back to the faith, largely had to do with the Holy Spirit, and my faith is entirely new now. I'm grateful that I left it though for a time, because as an atheist, I could look at all religions in a more objective way, and coming back to faith, I understand atheism better than I did before. It always seemed mysterious to me, before I 'deconverted.' Faith for many is a journey, for some...they just know. I had to take a journey. My fiance is a Christian, more moderate.

My concern is...that I don't believe in staying in an unhealthy marriage, one with abuse and infidelity, let's say. But, Christianity teaches to turn the other cheek, so I find some of my own personal views difficult to reconcile with my faith.
That is a very misunderstood scripture.

If your H cheats or abuses you, you can divorce him if you want without violating your faith.

Catholics are stricter but not biblical in their beliefs on this issue.
Posted via Mobile Device
ConanHub is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Relationship help moving in please n thx! Flower14 General Relationship Discussion 5 01-11-2016 11:26 AM
Teenage son, long distance relationship alexm The Family & Parenting Forums 11 12-16-2015 04:04 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome