The somewhat short version: My wife and I have been married for 4 years, we have been together for 13. Through our dating there had been the occasional guy I caught her talking to and having an inappropriate relationship with and I had an in appropriate relationship with one lady, through college that was to be expected. After 1 year of marriage after some serious prying it came out that my Wife had been having a 6 month affair with a close friend of ours. Ouch. I accepted it and told her if she wanted out then she was free to go, I would even financially support her as she finished school. I knew there was only one way we could begin to repair the marriage and that was through God. We we got semi-involved in church, but never really dealt with the affair. She didn't want to talk about it and I watched her grieve over not having this guy in her life anymore. She didn't want to do any marriage counseling or books(Love and Respect/Love Dare). I never felt as if I was as important as this guy had been to her and was willing to do anything for her to put the smile on her face that he seemed to do with ease. Dealing with this on my own I began to build a wall and just put on a smile, thinking that someday she would come around. 3 years later, our sexless marriage(Brutal for a man), constant tension, and lack of putting God first in our lives, I reached a point that I thought I would never get to. Seeing our marriage crumble, our church that we had been attending on and off had a two day marriage conference that we were going to and I just knew this was what we needed to get us on the right track. Well, two days away from that conference she decides that we aren't going to go, but instead go out with our friends(Drinking and such). I can remember at that point giving up and I said to God "I give up, I know this marriage is going to crumble, so just let it go, I give up" I felt relieved that I wasn't going to try anymore, if she wanted to get angry with me over something, so what. Essentially I had a I don't care attitude towards her and towards our marriage. I kept my fake smile on for the most part, but lost all hope that this marriage was going to ever work. We stopped going to church and went out with our bad influencing friends, disagreements became more frequent, and it was a matter of time until she had enough. Just being around her made me sick. This life and newly acquired attitude led me to a place that I never dreamt I could be. I started having an affair..... Not out of anger, it just happened so fast, as many people have shared on here. She was someone that found me interesting and this and that, it just happened! The bizarre thing about it was that I have yet to feel any remorse for it. Current status: My wife wants to do all she can for us to take steps to repair our marriage. I want to be done with it. However, I can't bring myself to file for Divorce. I truly believe that we would both be happier not together. I know God can fix us and this marriage, there is no doubt in that. The dilemma is that my only motivation to stay in the marriage is to avoid the hassle of it all. I am in a limbo and it's not fair to her at all. I have been talking to the woman I had the affair with still and it is weighing on my heart that that has to stop. My prayer is for God to do what he wants in my life, with her I have never been able to be Christian that I should be, I know I can't blame her for that. I just want someone to hear my story and give any advice you can or feel. Through our dating I had tried to break it off several time as I felt in my heart that we shouldn't be together always getting drawn back in by sex:roll eyes: Thank you all for taking the time to read my story. Is divorce the answer?