Do you go to church with your partner/spouse? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-04-2016, 09:32 PM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

Absolutely I do.


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post #17 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-04-2016, 11:32 PM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

My wife and I attend and serve together too.

Non-denominational church.

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Evangelical Christians have the highest divorce date.
That's not wholly accurate ~~

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Bradford Wilcox, sociology professor at the University of Virginia and director of the National Marriage Project, disagrees.

"The claim … that religion doesn't help marriage is bunk," he said. "In terms of people being integrated into a religious community—be it Protestant, Catholic, or Jewish—there is a strong correlation between the couple's integration and marital quality."

The key distinction in the data: identity versus practice.

Research has consistently shown that religious self-identification is much less important than actual religious practice, said Wilcox. People who regularly attend church are 35 percent less likely to divorce, he said.

"Lukewarm Christianity is a disaster for family life," said Wilcox. "Nominal conservative Protestants and evangelicals do worse in their marriages than other Americans.… Being a lukewarm Baptist in Arkansas or Kentucky or other Southern states is a big risk factor for family dysfunction."

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post #18 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-04-2016, 11:52 PM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

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post #19 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 01:42 AM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

My hubby is an atheist , iam
More of an agnostic ... I still go to church with my parents and siblings etc but only for family occasions like Xmas, Easter , Mother's Day etc it's more a family tradition for me. Hubby doesn't go regardless. So to answer your query, We are a couple that don't go to church together.


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post #20 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 08:17 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

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My hubby is an atheist , iam
More of an agnostic ... I still go to church with my parents and siblings etc but only for family occasions like Xmas, Easter , Mother's Day etc it's more a family tradition for me. Hubby doesn't go regardless. So to answer your query, We are a couple that don't go to church together.


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That's interesting that you go as a tradition thing. When I was an atheist, I went on occasion with my parents to mass, as they are Catholic. I looked at your thread by the way, and hope that you and your hubby can find a good balance.
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post #21 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 08:19 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

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My wife and I attend and serve together too.

Non-denominational church.
Hi Quality, do you think your faith helps your relationship with your wife?
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post #22 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 08:30 AM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

I take my boys to church for their religion class, but that is it. I grew up going to Church every weekend b/c of my Mom, but as an adult I just never really felt like I get much out of it. Same goes for my W, who actually went to Catholic school. That is not to say I have little faith, I honestly wish I got more out of church than I do. Also, having a young family and constantly running around makes it just that much harder to make a commitment to something with the little free time we have.
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post #23 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 09:04 AM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

I suppose sharing a belief in something is one of the common elements that bonds couples together. Having said that, I personally do not believe in any of the revealed religions. I know God exist but I certainly do not need nor want any mortal man to attempt to tell me how my relationship with God should be. I have felt this way for most of my life. I was raised as a Catholic, i tried several denominations of Christianity and found none of them believable. My ex had not been religious at all when we met. I had a near death experience and SHE made a commitment to start attending church. (Apparently she thought my living was a reward for her promise). She dragged us (me and the kids) to various churches over the years, but none of us (me and the kids) were able to buy into what they were selling. She finally gave up. I did feel it was important that my children be exposed to religion so that they could make up their own minds. They have. They choose not to go to church. As for my ex, I have no clue if she goes or not. I highly doubt it. While she used my survival as an excuse, I have come to feel that it was more about appearances than anything else. Now, I look for women who are spiritual but not religious. So I guess not going to church with my partner is just as important to me as going to church with your partner is to some of you. I simply don't want or need any part of it. IMO aside from sharing the common belief, religion stifles not only a relationship but life itself.

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post #24 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 09:44 AM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

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Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
This is so true, and perhaps I will pm you. I don't keep my pm's open on here, but maybe I'll write to you with some questions.

The pastor today talked about the passage about ''hating your brother, sister, mother'' in order to follow Jesus. And it doesn't mean to hate them, but it means to not let anyone cause you to stumble in your faith. To not let your parents, your spouse, sibling, etc...cause you to lose your faith. In other words, anything can become an idol, and we shouldn't worship our marriages. I believe that if both the husband and wife are followers of God, then He comes first, and the marriage comes second, and the marriage should be good because of this. As a believer, I think this. That said, many people become consumed with their marriages, degrading themselves, and doing things to keep their marriages, forgetting that God isn't really pleased with how they're going about it. I don't think all marriages should be saved, nor can be saved. Many people who are believers, leave God out of the equation completely, they don't invite Him into discerning over choosing the right spouse, and I think that is a huge problem facing Christians today, when it comes to marriage. Evangelical Christians have the highest divorce date.
I agree with you that some people make an idol out of staying married. They are often co-dependent.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #25 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 09:53 AM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

Dug and I grew up Catholic, and it has certainly influenced our thinking and our marriage. Many people think we are born again Christians, as we have several children and homeschool.

We do not go to church very often (maybe once every couple years). But as a couple, we have the same values and goals. We are family-focused people.

I look up to Dug, and that is really what gives him power in this marriage. If I did not genuinely respect him, he would not have that influence over me. He has my respect because he earns it, not because he is somehow entitled to it.


One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #26 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 10:36 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

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I suppose sharing a belief in something is one of the common elements that bonds couples together. Having said that, I personally do not believe in any of the revealed religions. I know God exist but I certainly do not need nor want any mortal man to attempt to tell me how my relationship with God should be. I have felt this way for most of my life. I was raised as a Catholic, i tried several denominations of Christianity and found none of them believable. My ex had not been religious at all when we met. I had a near death experience and SHE made a commitment to start attending church. (Apparently she thought my living was a reward for her promise). She dragged us (me and the kids) to various churches over the years, but none of us (me and the kids) were able to buy into what they were selling. She finally gave up. I did feel it was important that my children be exposed to religion so that they could make up their own minds. They have. They choose not to go to church. As for my ex, I have no clue if she goes or not. I highly doubt it. While she used my survival as an excuse, I have come to feel that it was more about appearances than anything else. Now, I look for women who are spiritual but not religious. So I guess not going to church with my partner is just as important to me as going to church with your partner is to some of you. I simply don't want or need any part of it. IMO aside from sharing the common belief, religion stifles not only a relationship but life itself.
I hear you, I don't think that one needs to attend church at all if that's their desire. God isn't contained in a building, for a believer, He's in our hearts. He is in our lives. The church I've been attending now, the pastor just really helps understand the Bible better than I used to understand it. I like the songs they choose, and there is an energy there, people of all ages that are worshiping together. It's a great atmosphere, and sadly one I didn't experience in the Catholic Church. But, if I never went to church again, my faith would remain. I understand your points, often people get caught up in religion and not faith (or life).
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post #27 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 10:38 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

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Dug and I grew up Catholic, and it has certainly influenced our thinking and our marriage. Many people think we are born again Christians, as we have several children and homeschool.

We do not go to church very often (maybe once every couple years). But as a couple, we have the same values and goals. We are family-focused people.

I look up to Dug, and that is really what gives him power in this marriage. If I did not genuinely respect him, he would not have that influence over me. He has my respect because he earns it, not because he is somehow entitled to it.
Agree with this, that respect is earned. You and Dug seem to have a solid great marriage, I've read your posts and they show this.
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post #28 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 10:40 AM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

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Agree with this, that respect is earned. You and Dug seem to have a solid great marriage, I've read your posts and they show this.
Thanks.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #29 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 10:48 AM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

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I hear you, I don't think that one needs to attend church at all if that's their desire. God isn't contained in a building, for a believer, He's in our hearts. He is in our lives. The church I've been attending now, the pastor just really helps understand the Bible better than I used to understand it. I like the songs they choose, and there is an energy there, people of all ages that are worshiping together. It's a great atmosphere, and sadly one I didn't experience in the Catholic Church. But, if I never went to church again, my faith would remain. I understand your points, often people get caught up in religion and not faith (or life).
Well for me, even the Bible is unbelievable. Oh don't get me wrong one can get some great lessons from it. The problem is you have to pick and choose. Which is the problem with most religions - that is exactly what they do. And what doesn't fit in, gets explained away. As I said I do not need some doofus that studied fairytales from long ago tell me how I should relate to God. As far as I am concerned, God is within each of us and all around us. It is up to each of us to hear and feel and learn. Church and religion is just a crutch to NOT have to do that. Why think about something when it comes all wrapped up in a pretty little box. It is why most people remain stuck in life.

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post #30 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2016, 06:38 PM
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Re: Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?

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Be careful that he's not just doing this to earn brownie points from you. It's so easy to pass oneself off as a good Christian, anybody can do it. Then later on in the marriage, you find that they were faking it all along and have this addiction or that addiction. It takes years of work and private commitment to be able to call down the power of heaven. I like @SimplyAmorous' approach to finding her husband.
Yeah.. I got down on my knees and prayed to meet a good guy.. one who wanted me FOR ME.. not just to get into my pants..

I didn't want to go through heart break after heartbreak -if it could be avoided.. just wanted to find the love of my life... My hope was to marry younger.. start our family together.....experiencing all life has hand in hand, through it's ups & downs...

Probably good I lived in another generation.. men RUN from any woman who feels like this today!

Thank you @becareful2 .. it was Ellis's thread that shared how they met >> How Did You Meet Your SO?

We were backwards... I was the one TRYING to be the Christian.. my husband was never a religious guy.. if I got out the Bible ... he'd be falling asleep...but a caring good soul none the less...

I'd say he had far more of those "Fruits of the spirit" over me - still does today...

He never minded going to church with me or anything we did.. at one point we were going 3 times a week when our oldest was about 2 yrs old (20 + yrs ago now)...we made a # of friends at that church.. we still call them friends today... We even got baptized together at one point..

We no longer go to church... but our oldest has been an off & on Worship Leader in a few Church's now.. we go to see him play now & then...checking out a new one..


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