Hormone levels dropping due to age. It's all normal. You have more time to think about these future problems because you are not as concerned about women.
The world is pretty much how you are coming to know it. It's sad, but true. You just didn't give a damn before.
Manson was disillusioned....just sayin'...
You could start your own sort of west boro Baptist church or whatever that is called. You can get some sheepskin off the internet and teach your brand of crazy to all others. You could create a heck of a compound and just have women and men there who don't think very much and aren't educated well.
Jim Jones made his goal.
Okay, I'm a bit off course.
Some of this is the times we live in. We are paid less because there are more workers available. They just keep splitting up the same amount of money for more and more employees.
You'll have to start a second business of some sort and have it work in your favor. You can't do that with the job you have. I think you need a promotion to move into the arena of less time, higher pay, more folks to delegate work to and more vacation and better benefits like profit sharing, stock options and so forth.
Hey, just some thoughts I had that I figured might have a chance of bringing a smile to your face.
ps.: On a more serious note, be glad you aren't married to a woman who is cheating on you while you are going through this. Blaming you for not being interested in her because you can't physically perform. Your mind is a mess. I was there. You would follow whomever has a decent plan. I followed my wife. At least she had some goals. Then, she was in peri menopause and I was where you are. She found younger men with higher sex drives more interesting. She finally found a guy with a better retirement plan.
Life sucks. It's a fact. Then you die. God never promised anyone life would be great. That's where most have it wrong. One thing I keep reminding myself are his words, "Pick up your cross daily...and follow me." That doesn't sound like he made any promises of abundance, unless it was an abundance of his love and mercy for us. And yes, he knows exactly how our lives will go. He is timeless.
Give yourself a break. Work on this with a counselor some. Try to have some fun, even if others tell you something will be fun and you think it will be boring. You never know.