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post #16 of 25 (permalink) Old 09-25-2016, 05:01 PM
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Re: What would you do in this situation males and females?

I also think he doesn't want to lead her on.
I agree that sitting on the same side of the table is a little odd, but it's not crazy.

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post #17 of 25 (permalink) Old 09-26-2016, 06:14 AM
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Re: What would you do in this situation males and females?

Moderator hat on:

There have been some pointless threadjacks which have been removed.

If people want to debate the merits of various religious or non-religious beliefs, this thread is not that place. Because such posts are unhelpful and irrelevant to the matter at hand.

That is why we have the relevant sub-section in the Off Topic part of TAM for that type of discussion, which is where such debates should be directed.

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post #18 of 25 (permalink) Old 09-27-2016, 10:37 AM Thread Starter
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Re: What would you do in this situation males and females?

I found this article on the internet yesterday.

I wonder if parts of the article apply to the guy.

Dating Games: 10 Worldly Things that Singles Do When Dating | Biblical Counseling Coalition
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post #19 of 25 (permalink) Old 11-01-2016, 09:05 PM
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Re: What would you do in this situation males and females?

Originally Posted by kristin2349 View Post
^I agree^ I'm failing to see what the big deal is. If I was her though I would have been creeped out by him sitting on the same side of the table as her, I hate it when guys try to do that.
I think that is nice. Maybe not at first, though. Maybe after dating for awhile (which isn't the case here).
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post #20 of 25 (permalink) Old 11-01-2016, 10:14 PM
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Re: What would you do in this situation males and females?

Originally Posted by CynthiaDe View Post
He is dating. I think what he means is that he doesn't want a girlfriend, but he wants to date around for a while. He sounds like a gentleman, because he is paying for the dates. He wants to get to know some women, but his focus is on his relationship with God right now. Once he feels he is ready, he will choose to exclusively date someone that he thinks would be a good match. I don't think the guy is messed up. I think he just doesn't want to go on dates with women and expect them to pay, especially when he's not sure if it's going anywhere more serious.
You are a trusting soul. You likely give everyone the benefit of the doubt, until they prove otherwise. That is good.

Had he not moved to the same side of the table I would have agreed with you. By sitting close, he was testing her.....feeling her ;-} ............... out.

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post #21 of 25 (permalink) Old 11-02-2016, 04:19 AM
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Re: What would you do in this situation males and females?

He IS making his move - but he is not being honest to himself about it.

Personally I would agree with the other assessments to only deal with this person in public, and when he chases up tell him the attention is discouraged by your family (do NOT under any circumstances accept personal responsibility to say know, or bring God into it - the chap obviously has a "higher connection", which can easily start getting fed from darker parts in his psyche if he feels shamed or denied, and is just as likely to "receive encouragement from god" to pursue his desires).

He _might_ be nice chap. But on "hearing voice of god crazy people" he's already 5/6s of the way there. He has to get a grip on his own responsibilities in life, before getting so tied up in "taking direction from God" because God sure isn't going to be taking responsibility if the guy starts getting his messages mixed up. and he can take any polite request for space or delay as a personal contract !! Not uncommon for people who frequently outsource responsibility to third parties (be it God, Government, "boys do that", natural order, "The Law", "just business", "honor", "just common decency" or any number of other blameable authorities who don't get to speak on their own behalf).

If she does end up going out with this guy, expect a LOT more of "God's direction" for things. So really only good if they're both crazy in the same way and same degree.
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post #22 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-17-2016, 12:28 AM
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Re: What would you do in this situation males and females?

Originally Posted by spunkycat08 View Post
The scenario below is posted on a forum I am a member of. The female posted this situation asking the other members if the guy is just being a gentleman or if he wants to be more than friends. However, she has admitted in her replies to the other members that she wants to be more than friends with him.

Female age 23 and Male age 27 meet at church.

The male pays for her dinner at church during one of their functions.

He gets to know her at church during conversations as well as during church activities.

He takes her out to dinner twice and pays for both of them.

The first time it is casual. The two of them sit across from each-other.

The second time he sits next to her and they have a personal one on one conversation.

The female begins to wonder if he is just being a gentleman or does he want to date her.

She finds out from him during one of their conversations after the second time he takes her out to dinner that he considers her only as a friend. He is not ready for any type of dating relationship because he feels that God wants him to work on his relationship with him *God* , but he still wants to get to know her, spend time with her, have dinner with her and so on as well as with other females. He told her that he does not want to lead her on. He told her that this is the way he likes to get to know people.

What would you do in this situation if you were the male?

What would you do in this situation if you were the female?

What advice would you give to young males and females regarding this situation?
As a male, I would never get into such a moronic situation and as a female, I'd tell him to HIT THE ROAD and then I'd go find someone who really wants me - god or no god!

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post #23 of 25 (permalink) Old 01-23-2017, 09:59 PM
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Re: What would you do in this situation males and females?

As a female I wouldnt appreciate being told that he was basically playing the field, dating several women at once, so that when he feels he is 'ready' he will 'choose' which one he likes and presumably date her more.
I would not want to play games like this. If he isn't ready to date, then don't date. Its not fair on the women.
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post #24 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-11-2017, 05:27 PM
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Re: What would you do in this situation males and females?

Sounds like a player, without the sex.
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post #25 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-11-2017, 05:43 PM
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Re: What would you do in this situation males and females?

I'd treat him like a friend if I wanted his friendship while continuing to date others. I'd advise her to believe him when he says he's not looking for a commitment, and to only give him the time she would a friend. Honestly, I was so busy in my early 20s with college, work, and dating, and girlfriends, that I likely would have had very little time to spend with a guy who wasn't interested in dating me and only wanted to be friends. I'd tell her the same- stay busy and see him at church.

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