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post #31 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-17-2016, 05:23 PM
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Re: Church

nmrn4,

I think that's a great question.

He hasn't been back, so he must not like our ideas. Maybe he realized something about himself?

If it were me, I wouldn't like the idea that I would have to miss church on Sunday once in a while, since it would be a mortal sin.

Though I've committed many sins, and still do, my thoughts were that she may not want her husband there, if he isn't going to eventually convert. I wouldn't want a wife of mine to go, if she was made to feel so terribly by it. It would be worse to put up with that, than to go alone or with a friend/relative.

I think they need to talk about this at length and with as much openness and honesty as they can stand. It seems that important.

At the basis of many of the posts is compromise, and I do believe that's the right direction to take. Whatever that looks like, they'll have to decide.

In the end, if he is so upset that he starts a thread on it, maybe he should consider divorcing her before they have children who will see all the arguments about whether or not they should be taught his or her beliefs?

For me, it's really sad because a little openness and honesty could easily have circumvented this before marriage.


"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #32 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-23-2017, 09:37 PM
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Re: Church

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Originally Posted by TriednTired View Post
Although, i am not a really religious i recently went to church with my wife about 8 mths ago+/- and I go off and on mostly to support my wife. My wife's mom lives with us and according to my wife she "used" to go to quite often when they were younger. Now my wife gets mad with me if I don't want to go to church and harps on me about it. Yet, never pushes her mom to go. As I stated I'm not religious, but I believe if she pressuring me to go, her mom should get the same treatment, seeing as how she introduced her to church now no longer goes. Am I wrong for asking my wife why doesn't her mother go, when she pressures me to go? I think she should go anyway if that's what she wants to do. It's like her going to church is dependent upon me going, that's wrong.
This is a very good reason not to marry someone who doesn't share your faith. I have friends with non Christian husbands, but they never expect them to go to church, I dont think your wife should, but I expect she finds it hard sitting there alone when other women have their husbands. Is it really that hard to give her that short time each week and go with her?
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post #33 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-23-2017, 09:41 PM
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Re: Church

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I think most people of religion don't realize how uncomfortable it is for us atheists to sit in a religious institution and listen to all the claptrap being spewed there and being eaten up like it's going out of style by people who seem to be out of their freaking minds.

That's how I felt when I was at a funeral and there was a religious service and the people, some of whom I knew fairly well (but I had never seen them during a religious ceremony), were crossing themselves and bowing their heads and saying hail Marys and Amens and praising God, and I felt like I was in a bad movie where people were being converted to zombies or aliens and I was the only one left to save the world.
Sounds like that was a RC service, I wouldnt go there either. We like churches that are relaxed and informal and friendly.
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post #34 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-23-2017, 09:47 PM
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Re: Church

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The church that I used to go to made it very clear that spouses should also attend and put pressure on those that turned up on their own. My father is an atheist and has never gone to church with my mother and she never really felt like a 'proper' Christian family. Someone in church once started a rumour that she was a single parent which upset her deeply at a time when there was a great deal of shame around being divorced.

For me, I married into a very religious family where there is a rule that you have to go to church every week without exception. It was a shock and irritation for me as I only ever wanted to attend occasionally and when I got the Monday morning calls demanding an explanation for my absence I found myself lying outrageously - which I concluded wasn't very 'Christian'. I worked it out that I just couldn't live my life like that and stopped going altogether.

You are an adult not a child - if you want to go - go, if you don't - don't. That is my advice.
Most churches are not like that, they are being cultish.
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