Need ADVICE

nor_31 · 12-22-2011, 02:54 AM

First of all greetings to all,

i am married for 10 years with mine wife, we have to kids 8/4, so what is mine problem i am very emotional man, trying to have a realy good marriage, but mine wife gets with year more more cold. She never kiss me, initiate sex, but i know she loves me and she speaks very nice about me with others, she is not cheating i am 100% sure.

Now what heart me at most, is this cold part. If i try to speak about how cold she is getting, she attacks me, and she attacks me really hard. later is she sorry but when u do it 10000 time in 3-4 days so it dont metter if she is sorry or not. Also last 4 month i was trying it very very hard to gets things better between us, but more i am trying i start to think she is getting colder.

The most what is conserning me, its not what if we brake up and divorce, we are not first with problems, but the way she ignore all and at one days i will get enough and change mine self, and in mine experiance this never goes well.

regarding sex hmmm, 4 times in month, if i am lucky, when we have sex its greate but for me it feels like , we have sex because she feels sorry for me

i know this sounds all stupid, and mine englisch is not so good, but is there anybody experiance same ????

Greetings

EleGirl · 12-22-2011, 02:59 AM

Have you done much reading on this site? There are a lot of people here experiencing similar problems.

Have you asked your wife how she thinks this issue can be solved?

nor_31 · 12-22-2011, 03:02 AM

i try to talk, its not possible she gets just angy, and say like, this is not true. There are days if i would not start conversation we could go days without speaking, on other side there are nice days. But emotional she gets colder and colder

this drivers me crazy

EleGirl · 12-22-2011, 03:09 AM

From what you are saying your wife's behavior is not good. Both husband and wife should make meeting each other's needs their priorities.

Are there things that she says you are not doing that she would like you to do or change?

nor_31 · 12-22-2011, 03:15 AM

last 4 months i spend all mine power into make her life better, but i forget sometimes i have needs to, u know i am 100% sure i am not on her list of top priority. on other side i am sure that she loves me, but she is one of this people like royalty that not speak about feelings. i support her, listen to her, but u know when i thing about all we speak is finance, how it is at work, children, we watch to much tv.

other night i say why we dont try to talk and skip tv, she got angry, like what is there to talk about,

or when i beg for sex she promisse tommorow, tommorow if i say why u prommising stuff when u dont keep ur word, again she gets angry.

but on other side if she needs something she suddenly gets very nice to me.

accept · 12-22-2011, 04:08 AM

What you write is quite normal on here. Since your English is not the best maybe not your first language why not write twice in both languages. I am sure there are people on here who can understand your main language whatever it is.
The real answer is you need counselling. Unless you can get your wife also to come on here.

nor_31 · 12-22-2011, 04:13 AM

i did read a lot, but everthing ends on try to "talk together" for me is it like i speak to a door, sometimes it will listen to me, but no effect. maybe i just need to accept that things are like they are, and that i will learn to live with it